I have this same trouble with my boyfriend. It's less dire because our finances are separate, but now that we share a home, we have to at least align some values. I've found that anything I ask him to do, even if it's good for him, he'll refuse. I tried to get him to the gym for years. Finally, I stopped trying and starting tell him how attractive he was regardless. He's been working out like a fiend, lost a ton of weight, and gotten quite muscular in the last year, and is now more devoted to fitness and health than I am.
I'm trying the same tactic with finances. I have insisted that he budget, because his lack of budgeting was hurting me. Otherwise, I'm just subtly praising his current financial form for it's good parts, and watching him slowly improve as he realizes how rewarding saving really is. It sounds manipulative, but I see it as the opposite. I'm just pointing out what's good about him, so he feels great about the great parts of him, and that leads him to want to be better at the less frugal/fit (but not bad) parts.
With your husband, you could thank him for some other frugal things he does, or point out how he's really good at doing X things that save you a ton of money. Once he feels that being good at certain frugal things is a part of his personality, he'll start doing more frugal things. But I do feel that it's fair that you demand that if he's going to buy Starbucks, it's with his personal cash (I hope you budget spouse money?) and not on joint credit cards.