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Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: Lauran75 on November 16, 2017, 08:39:35 AM

Title: FIL question
Post by: Lauran75 on November 16, 2017, 08:39:35 AM
My husbands stepdad is 84 years old and is currently living in his own home. About 20 years ago he took out a reverse mortgage. My husband and his stepdad are NOT close (my husband resents the heck out of his stepdad) however, my husband is now the only family left. Until June of this year, my husband's sister checked in on the stepdad and helped him out with a lot of things - we don't really know what all she did. SIL died in July.

So ... DH and are wondering what happens when FIL gets to the point where he can no longer live in his home. Him living with us is NOT an option. Us paying for anything for him is NOT an option. (We're under no legal obligation to do anything for him, are we?)

I know he was a real @ss to my husband, and I can understand why my husband doesn't want much if anything to do with him ... but at the same time he is a human and I feel obligated to make sure he is taken care of in some way.

If he doesn't have any other assets other than the reverse mortgage, SS benefits and pension income from his job, how would that work with getting him into a nursing home?

If I understand reverse mortgages, as soon as a person no longer lives there, the house reverts to the creditor. So ... it's not an asset that would be considered, correct?

I hope I'm not being too confusing ... essentially I want to know what, if any, legal obligation do we have to stepdad (never adopted DH) and if he'll be able to go into a nursing home based on his SS benefits/pension benefits alone?

Also ... FIL is a hoarder of massive proportions. Not trash/papers etc., but mannequins, dolls, miniature cars, tons and tons of framed artwork, figurines, etc. He barely has a pathway from his bedroom to the kitchen. When he has to go to a nursing home, how long will we have to clear out his house before the bank takes over? (DH is now his executor.)
Title: Re: FIL question
Post by: Sibley on November 16, 2017, 08:46:15 AM
Reverse mortgage - my understanding is that house is sold or reverts to the lien holder to be sold.
Clearing out the house - if nothing else, have an estate sale company come in a deal with it. He might even get a bit of money out of it. Timing would depend on the rules for what happens to the house.

Paying for nursing home - if he doesn't have the assets, then Medicaid will kick in (assuming that Congress doesn't gut it first).

The rest of it - your DH can refuse to be the executor if he really wants to. The state would probably step in a name a guardian. But it sounds like you need to talk to an lawyer who do a lot of elder issues.

In terms of feeling guilty, if this guy was an ass, he's now reaping the consequences. How is that your fault?
Title: Re: FIL question
Post by: MayDay on November 16, 2017, 08:51:57 AM
I would guess you can just leave everything in the house and let the bank deal with it. But that is a guess, I agree that you should consult a lawyer.
Title: Re: FIL question
Post by: Lauran75 on November 16, 2017, 11:34:50 AM
Thanks - contacting an attorney probably is a good idea.