DH and I likely will not RE at the same time. I don't know if he cares much to RE, he is on a quest to find his identity through a profession still. And I am personally over this concept. (And was barely ever "under it" to begin with, it's not that I gave up on looking). But I can understand what he is seeking. Likewise, he understands my desire to RE.
Anything I do is not who I am, it's just what action I'm taking at the time. I don't feel the need to have an "identity" outside of mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend. I guess some people would say that is sad, but I think it's positively refreshing! I just am, and that is enough. This doesn't mean I'll sit around and loaf when I RE. It just means I can do anything I want!
Someone posted a similar thought about not tying self worth with work. But I consciously take it a step further, because I mean anything I do- not just paid work, but any activity I choose as a hobby, I don't feel compelled to make it part of my identity. I think this is because in college I really identified myself as an athlete... I had a scholarship tied to my sport, everything revolved around practice and competitions. But I'm not active in that sport anymore. For a long time it made me sad, but now I embrace that it was something I once did and enjoyed. And letting that go means I can do more things, other things. I don't have an obligation to any action. Except my relationship roles. I feel like they are the only things that are truly part of who I am.