Author Topic: Feeling bad after accident  (Read 3950 times)

firelight

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Feeling bad after accident
« on: July 07, 2014, 06:13:13 PM »
We bought a new SUV last year (fully paid for) since our last car was totaled in an accident (no-fault for us). We don't drive much and it has less than 5k miles on it.
Last week, I rear ended someone by accident and there are some damages to the car. All of it is reparable and the bill comes around $2k.

I do understand that accidents happen and that this $2k is money spent to learn the lesson of being more careful on the road.

However, I also feel very remorseful about the accident (to the point that I obsessively replay the scenarios in my head) and worry about the car's value and insurance bumps even though we've had a clean record so far.

How did you handle such accidents (auto or otherwise) and the increased spending that comes along with it?

Workinghard

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #1 on: July 07, 2014, 06:35:24 PM »
My car was totaled last month. Sigh. It wasn't my fault but the end result was the same. I did go through the grieving process. Not so much the loss of the car but the loss of my 300k goal. Lol. It was a Honda civic and in great shape.  I was just thankful no one was hurt. The woman could not believe I wasn't upset. I told her  cars can be replaced but people can't be.

hexdexorex

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #2 on: July 07, 2014, 07:34:01 PM »
Minor accidents sometimes don't even up your insurance.

Everyone makes mistakes, without mistakes decisions cant be made. I wouldn't dwell on it.

Many people I surround myself with are overachievers and they have the suffer from the same tendency to dwell...car accidents happen in a flash and often there is nothing you could have done to help it. Just leave plenty of room between yourself and other cars in the future. (if that was the issue :))

CarDude

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #3 on: July 07, 2014, 07:36:03 PM »
Be glad you're alive and perfectly healthy; lots of people (35,000 each year in the US) don't have the luxury of grieving over potential insurance hikes after a collision.

Erica/NWEdible

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #4 on: July 07, 2014, 07:52:18 PM »
I was in an accident in 2012. I was in a car I loved, and it was totaled. Both kids were in the car, we were hit in the front quarter driver's side and spun around through traffic. I was emotionally rattled hard. Like, really hard. Lots of emotional shake-ups, panic attacks, lots of obsessive replaying of the accident. I kept thinking, "I could have killed my kids, I could have killed my kids." It was paralysing. And everyone kept saying, "Well, the important thing is, everyone was ok." and I just kept thinking, "I don't feel ok."

I started moving out of that place when a friend of mine saw my car and said, "Wow, that was a really hard hit. I bet you are sore. Are you ok?" Suddenly I didn't feel so nuts. It was like, this stuff can really rock us, even if we are physically fine. So, yeah, sometimes it get's to us beyond what the actual consequences warrant. You're not alone in that. My advice is to be ok that it's *not* ok. When your brain is in that loop, I found the thinking about the fact that you *could* have died but didn't somehow wasn't comforting at all. So my advice is to allow whatever your feelings are - however irrational they might be - and define them. Write them down, maybe. Like "I am ashamed that I was careless," or whatever it is for you. And then after you define your feelings very specifically, forgive yourself and move on. This might take awhile. It did for me.

Oh and the money? Fuck it. It's just money. You'll have lots of it in your life. You're a mustachian.

Good luck.

okashira

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #5 on: July 07, 2014, 08:41:51 PM »
We bought a new SUV last year (fully paid for) since our last car was totaled in an accident (no-fault for us). We don't drive much and it has less than 5k miles on it.
Last week, I rear ended someone by accident and there are some damages to the car. All of it is reparable and the bill comes around $2k.

I do understand that accidents happen and that this $2k is money spent to learn the lesson of being more careful on the road.

However, I also feel very remorseful about the accident (to the point that I obsessively replay the scenarios in my head) and worry about the car's value and insurance bumps even though we've had a clean record so far.

How did you handle such accidents (auto or otherwise) and the increased spending that comes along with it?

You don't drive around brand-new SUV's that suck gas, insurance premiums and expensive tires.
Many around here drive cars that are worth less then the damage to your truck, so ....

Workinghard

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #6 on: July 08, 2014, 03:51:30 PM »
I actually made money, more or less, off the accident. The insurance paid 5k for my 12 year old Civic and I bought a 1k car, in great shape, from someone I know. It's 13 yrs old but will do the job even though it doesn't get good gas mileage. I don't want a good car, or a new car, when my job consists of driving. I just need a beater to get around.

KBecks2

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Re: Feeling bad after accident
« Reply #7 on: July 08, 2014, 04:47:04 PM »
So sorry.  Accidents are so stressful.  Be thankful that  you are not injured, it's just a car, it's just some money to fix it.  These things happen to everybody.  Drive as safely and attentively as possible and move on.