Feedback on ugly job offer situation?

[lcg377]

I am looking for advice on this scenario, mainly "run the hell away and don't look back" or "send a complaint to their HR person" being my two initial thoughts.

Here's the story:
About 2 months ago, there was an opening at my sister-in-law's company.  She recommended me for a position in her department, and I applied.  Her boss reviewed the applications, which I know included mine, but the job went to an internal candidate without any other interviews. No big deal.

Last week, her boss came to her workgroup and asked them if they had any recommendations for a temp position in a neighboring office that she also oversees. My SIL reminder her she already had my app from the previous opening.  She called me last Tues for a short phone interview and found out I had 2 yrs experience doing this kind of work, and kept telling my SIL that she was so excited I was coming in for an actual interview.  That was Thursday last week, and the "interview" basically was her asking when I could start, if the pay was okay, and then coordinating "my" schedule so that I could carpool with SIL! However, I thought it was weird b/c in talking with her and meeting the other coworkers on my tour, it was clear she had NEVER read any of my info.  Then on Friday last week, she said there was an issue with HR and they wanted her to interview at least one more person. She said she'd call me this week.

So here's the gross part! Yesterday, she went to my SIL and told her she hired someone else.  I didn't find out until last night through the family grapevine, and my SIL spent the night crying and worried about how she was supposed to tell me the job was given to some other person.  Basically all of my in-laws know I didn't get the job, and they're all upset b/c they had no idea the boss never informed ME!

As of this morning, she still hasn't called me! Do I call her and ask for an update, knowing full well someone else is starting today? Do I just ignore it and run the opposite direction? Do I make a complaint to her supervisor or HR department??  Job searching is already stressful enough, and then this???

 

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

This company sounds terrible to work for. It sounds like your family was only trying to work in your best interest, but it didn't happen to work out because the hiring manager is not good at this. I guess I don't see the problem other than that you're still looking for a job.

[BPA]

Sorry such a shitty thing happened to you. 

That being said, I would probably not call and I definitely wouldn't contact HR or her supervisor.  It won't get you the job and it would make you seem dramarama which wouldn't help if you ever wanted to considered for working for them again.  It might also reflect badly on your SIL and make things more awkward for her at work.

I'd just move on. 

[3okirb]

Send her an e-mail saying: 

Ms.____, I heard through my sister in law that you have offered the job to someone other than me after we spoke last week.  It was nice meeting you and I wish you the best of luck with your new hire.

Sincerely,
___________


That's what I would do.

[waffle]

Bottom line for me (I work in HR), if the hiring manager cant give you the courtesy of contacting you to let you know you didn't get the job then they probably aren't someone that you'd want to work for.

Its understandable to not get a response if you've applied but didn't even get an interview, but if you had an interview there needs to be some follow up communication. That's just common courtesy.

[lcg377]

Thanks, that's a good idea.  I'm not mad about the job really, just angry that she would treat my SIL that way and be unprofessional, when she could have spent 1 minute calling me to let me know personally.

[ShoulderThingThatGoesUp]

Thanks, that's a good idea.  I'm not mad about the job really, just angry that she would treat my SIL that way and be unprofessional, when she could have spent 1 minute calling me to let me know personally.

That's between your SIL and her employer. I don't think you contacting the company can help your SIL in any way, and obviously that company isn't of any use to you.

[Retire-Canada]

Sorry such a shitty thing happened to you. 

That being said, I would probably not call and I definitely wouldn't contact HR or her supervisor.  It won't get you the job and it would make you seem dramarama which wouldn't help if you ever wanted to considered for working for them again.  It might also reflect badly on your SIL and make things more awkward for her at work.

I'd just move on.

+1 - life lesson that some people are douchebags. You got lucky that you didn't work for her. Consider yourself the winner here.

[Capsu78]

I have observed enough weird hiring processes that I think the safest thing is to not consider yourself hired until the first paycheck safely clears the bank!  Sometimes there are politics and power plays going on behind the scenes involving headcount issues.  It doesn't sound like you are, but don't take it personally...water off a ducks back.  And yes, job searching is stressful enough- good luck in landing, and soon.

[ohana]

Send her an e-mail saying: 

Ms.____, I heard through my sister in law that you have offered the job to someone other than me after we spoke last week.  It was nice meeting you and I wish you the best of luck with your new hire.

Sincerely,
___________


That's what I would do.

Exactly; be gracious and don't burn any bridges.  I would in fact send a letter, not an email, just as I would for any interview situation.

I also agree that you shouldn't apply for any more jobs working for this woman.

[Catbert]

Retired HR Manager here.  Walk away and be glad you didn't get the job.  Either the company, the manager or both are pretty messed up.  Contacting HR won't help you or your SIL.

[thd7t]

Send her an e-mail saying: 

Ms.____, I heard through my sister in law that you have offered the job to someone other than me after we spoke last week.  It was nice meeting you and I wish you the best of luck with your new hire.

Sincerely,
___________


That's what I would do.

Exactly; be gracious and don't burn any bridges.  I would in fact send a letter, not an email, just as I would for any interview situation.

I also agree that you shouldn't apply for any more jobs working for this woman.

There's no downside to the polite response and one day, someone more considerate may be in the position of hiring.  It will wash the bad taste out of your mouth to have taken the high ground, as well.

[lcg377]

Thanks everyone! I used the anger to fuel a good search this morning, and I got 3 new applications sent off today.  Hopefully there won't be any more bad surprises.

[zinnie]

To play Devil's advocate, she said she would inform you this week and the week is not over. It was unfair of them to make it seem like you had the job, and she clearly should not have told your SIL before she informed you directly, but it is standard to wait for an accepted offer before letting the others know they didn't get it. And it is only because of your family relationship that you found out (if I was your SIL I would have kept my mouth shut until the formal rejection went out...)

I would hope that she sends you a rejection letter or calls this week as she said she would. If I was you, I would wait for that before making any kind of contact.

[Debtless in Texas]

I would simply walk away and be thankful that I dodged a bullet. It sucks trying to find a better job while suffering through the one you hate.