Author Topic: Family -Holiday visitors  (Read 4756 times)

SofiaBourbon

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Family -Holiday visitors
« on: November 27, 2013, 11:33:06 PM »
I am  fairly new to the mustachian life style. I  had visitors since the first week of October. My water cost and lights has doubled. I am expending $300+ per week on food. I have bought the costco subscription which helped a lot on food. How do you continue a mustachian lifestyle while having visitors? How do you manage 3 months of extra expenses? My culture does not allow me to ask them for money (this is not an option) or kick them out

Thank you

Junior667

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #1 on: November 28, 2013, 12:06:38 AM »
Ouch, thats a long time to have guests! When we have people come and stay I resign myself to cooking duty. That's about all I can do to help manage expenses as I'm usually following behind everyone cleaning up too. Lots of rice and bean dishes with as little red meat as possible? Put lights on timers and turn the thermostat down? Good luck and you have my sympathy.

gooki

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #2 on: November 28, 2013, 01:44:13 AM »
Accept it as part of being an awesome host.

SofiaBourbon

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #3 on: November 28, 2013, 08:36:44 AM »
Mom, her sister and my sister will be staying for a month and a half. I am planning to start tracking the increase in expenses and just budget for it next year. 

Gray Matter

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #4 on: November 28, 2013, 08:54:36 AM »
When my MIL visits (every few years), she routinely stays 3, 4, or even 5 months.  I have a separate line item in my budget with her name on it, and I track all out-of-pocket expenses related directly to her (we pay for everything when she's here, including temporary gym membership for her to swim, presents for her to take back home to her friends, winter gear, etc.).  I just budget for it and consider it a cost of "doing business" or rather, "having a family like my DH's!"

I am still struggling a bit with "spend as little as possible" vs. "spend on the important stuff," because family is the important stuff and I want my kids to know their grandparents.  It helps to anticipate the expenses and budget in advance.

plainjane

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #5 on: November 28, 2013, 11:10:53 AM »
When my MIL visits (every few years), she routinely stays 3, 4, or even 5 months.  I have a separate line item in my budget with her name on it, and I track all out-of-pocket expenses related directly to her (we pay for everything when she's here, including temporary gym membership for her to swim, presents for her to take back home to her friends, winter gear, etc.).  I just budget for it and consider it a cost of "doing business" or rather, "having a family like my DH's!"

I do something similar.  We have a hefty line item in the budget for travel.  Occasionally instead of spending it on us going there, we spend it on some of the costs associated with them coming here (which are still generally lower than the cost to visit them).

As for how to keep costs to a minimum, it's the regular tricks around keeping food cost down (I make sure to prepare lunches and snacks when we're going to be out), focusing on the free items.  Water and electricity are tougher to control - are you doing a lot of laundry of things that could be reused?

TGod

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2013, 11:23:21 AM »
Quote
we pay for everything when she's here, including temporary gym membership for her to swim, presents for her to take back home to her friends, winter gear, etc.

Wow. That's a lot of time to be visiting and a lot of money to be spending on another person's lifestyle choices, but family stuff is tricky and if you're cool paying for it then good for you for making your MIL's visit as great as it can be.
We are on the opposite end of the spectrum, where my in-laws come visit us for 2wks every 6 months, and they try to pay for EVERYTHING. When we were a single income family, struggling to make ends meet it was very much appreciated, but now it has become a bit embarrassing and uncomfortable.
 My MIL will try to pay for all the groceries, if I happen to be with her when she goes shopping I race to get my cash out before she does. My car is constantly topped up with gas even though they may only take it out a few times when they are visiting. They are comfortably retired and have always been frugal and great with money, and I know they don't want to feel like they are a burden when they come and visit us, and they do like to eat expensive foods, but I also never want them to feel like they are being taken advantage of.  That said, I'm thankful that there visit doesn't blow my budget.

mm1970

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #7 on: November 28, 2013, 12:09:10 PM »
Ouch, I wouldn't handle that well at all, but I respect the cultural differences.

I would see where you can cut down the water and electricity costs - automatic shutoff for the lights, unplug things that aren't in use, low flow showerhead?  (Don't know if you rent or own, but we replaced our toilet last winter and our water costs were cut by a third).

As far as food, well, see where you can trim that by cooking more from scratch.  You don't have to buy steak, there's always 10-lb bags of rice.

Gray Matter

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #8 on: November 28, 2013, 01:39:58 PM »
Wow. That's a lot of time to be visiting and a lot of money to be spending on another person's lifestyle choices, but family stuff is tricky and if you're cool paying for it then good for you for making your MIL's visit as great as it can be.

You're right, and we have become more frugal since her last visit, so things will be different next time.  We'll need to think in advance about what we're willing to pay for (swimming brings her great enjoyment, is healthy for her, and easy on her joints, so that will likely stay; gifts for her friends, not so much).

It's a bit tricky, because I'd prefer to just give her a set amount of money and let her manage it, but she refuses it, but then she hints at or outright asks us to buy her things, and I hate the position it put us in (like we're the parent and she's the child).  So we'll need to get our heads straight on that before she arrives next time. 

athomeintheworld

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Re: Family -Holiday visitors
« Reply #9 on: November 29, 2013, 12:04:15 AM »
I get that this is tough.  But appreciate what you have - I would love for my mom to stay with me for so long!!