Hello everyone,
We are expecting our first baby this July - grand baby number 2 for my parents-in-law. They are very excited, and the unsolicited but well-meaning advice has already started flowing.
I am finding it hard to respond gracefully/tactfully to all this advice about the stuff we "need" for a new baby. Dno't get me wrong - as first time parents, we're aware that we won't really know for sure what does/doesn't work for us until baby gets here. But we are minimalists - we live in a 900 sq ft. condo and we are extremely mindful of every single item in our condo, and whether it will add enough value to our lives to justify the space it occupies. We err on the side of "let's do without it until we decide we really can't." This also relates to frugality, as we are trying to avoid buying (literally) into the baby industry complex that says luxuries/indulgences/nice-to-haves are "needs".
For example: we don't intend, at this stage, to buy a rocking chair.
Many of you might think "My rocker is the best thing ever and super helpful to me as a parent." I don't dispute your experience - and I am not proud enough to think I might be wrong and definitely won't really, really, really want a rocker once baby arrives (especially if s/he is fussy).
But our house is small. Rockers, even second-hand, are expensive (certainly to a Mustachian). As much as many people say "you need one" I would dispute that - the majority of the world's mothers I would hazard to guess are getting by without one, as much as I'm sure they're very nice to have. None of my sisters/mother had a rocker (we're from Australia, where they're not so ubiquitous as here).
So we're going to wait and see, and hope we don't need one, as I don't want a piece of furniture cluttering up our zen, minimal space that we'll just want to get rid of eventually anyway.
Cue parents-in-law: 20 minute lecture on the phone the other day about how we're being ridiculous, of course you "need" a rocking chair, and how can we deprive them of the joy of rocking their grand baby to sleep?
I get this is a case of conflicting values, and we need to patiently listen, acknowledge their point of view, and acknowledge that we might decide we want one, but I resent the idea that this is a "need" and I would LOVE to know if anyone knows of any useful blog posts or articles or talks that succinctly explain, to those who have no minimalist tendencies whatsoever, what it means to be a minimalist.*
Suggestions gratefully received!
*We are not hard-core. Maybe that makes it harder for people to believe us. We have half a bookshelf of beloved books, we own DVDs and a few photo albums, and we have pictures on our walls and many items in our house that are wants, not needs. But it's *our house* and "want" is subjective. I want resources to explain that to others!