I have never asked the internet anything on a forum, but here goes...
My husband and I are both young, married about a year, and are on our way to early retirement slowly but surely. We are very much enjoying the changes that we've made to our lifestyle, and are generally pretty happy that we've been following this blog and taking some advice from the really smart and helpful people here. We own our own home with good jobs and are in our mid twenties, so we are certainly capable adults. However, my dear mother in law disagrees with us on many of the changes we have made, especially concerning bikes. My parents also are little weary, but they don't tell us what to do with our lives. My in laws on the other hand believe that it is okay to threaten to disown us for decisions that we've made.
Let me provide a specific example to make things clearer. Today we had our first accumulated snow fall, and my husband was excited to try out the new snow tires he had purchased for his bicycle. His commute to work is only 3 miles, and he has been biking it since April. He has gotten really good at it so far, and he's been really enjoying it. When my mother in law asked my husband if he had ridden his bike today (she has known for months that this was the plan, knew we bought snow tires, nice boots, lights for the bike, reflective vest, nice hat, etc., so he could do this), she said she was disowning him. She even went so far as to chastise him for marrying a woman like himself instead of like her.
My mother in-law has threatened my husband with disownment throughout his life--he is very different from her, but he does love her and care for her. They are just very different people. Bringing me into this is particularly hurtful. I know she blames me for his biking and is concerned for his safety, but obviously I want him to be safe, too! She doesn't know a thing about our early retirement dreams of quitting our jobs to raise our children together. If she did I am sure she would shun us because it's so different. And either way, my husband and I are very much a partnership--I would never make him do something like this unless we mutually agreed.
I know I've been going on a bit, apologies, but basically, what advice do you have for us? I want us to have a relationship with them, of course, but it's hard to face so much opposition. They also spend tons of money on us, and my husband has said that doesn't mean anything, it's just how they are, but it overwhelms me and makes me feel like they are trying to "buy our compliance." I know that is a hurtful sentiment, too, but... It hurts that she can't see how much I adore her son and how happy we are in the life we are building together. I've considered asking if she will go to family counseling together to talk this out, but I'm afraid that it will make things worse...
Thoughts? Ideas? Friendly Internet support? How do you start a Mustachian path when your closest family hates you for it?
Thank you.