Author Topic: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?  (Read 3775 times)

fields

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Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« on: March 15, 2015, 07:52:30 AM »
My SO currently lives with me in my house and pays me $1000/month.  I pay the mortgage ($1732, going up to $1950 in Sept.), all utilities, and any costs associated with home repair.  I have major home maintenance costs coming up over the next few years which I estimate will total $40000.  In five years, when all maintenance is completed, we plan to sell the house and buy a new house. By that time we will be married and in our mid-fifties, and five years from retirement, and I think we should co-own that house, though not necessarily in equal shares.  My question is, how do we determine what is financially fair to both of us?  I would just do 50/50, but I want to protect myself in case of divorce and also I would like to leave as much as I can to my two children.

When we sell this house, I should make $100000, to be used as down payment on the next house, which will cost around $300000.  SO is not in a position to buy in to the equity in the current house but could contribute to the cost of the upcoming repairs over the next few years.  I'd love to hear ideas about what would be a fair arrangement.


use2betrix

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2015, 09:02:28 AM »
How much do you make? How much does your SO make? If it is really lopsided then I would adjust accordingly.

I take home nearly 4x what my SO does. I am 26 and she is 21. She gives me a flat rate of 800/mo and I pay for the rent, utilities, food, cell phones, insurance, etc. I also let her drive my 2nd car (99 Camry)

We split the non-regular expenses that aren't as mustachian (occasionally going out to eat, vacations, etc)

Thedudeabides

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2015, 09:14:18 AM »
I would advise that you talk to a lawyer.

Depending on which state you live in, and what your state considers common law marriage, it may be very important in what you decide if you don't want things to be split up 50/50 if you break up.

Bracken_Joy

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2015, 09:28:06 AM »
I am 99% sure you cannot "default" into common law. The law only applies if you are "living as though married" with introducing yourself to the community as spouses, sharing assets, etc. etc. Common law does not happen just by virtue of time passing. Anyway, a ton of states no longer recognize it in any form anyway.  Probably not a concern.

arebelspy

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2015, 09:47:07 AM »

My SO currently lives with me in my house and pays me $1000/month.  I pay the mortgage ($1732, going up to $1950 in Sept.), all utilities, and any costs associated with home repair.  I have major home maintenance costs coming up over the next few years which I estimate will total $40000.

Sounds like you pay 100% of it to me.

But it comes down to whatever you two work out between yourselves.  Don't let money be more important than your relationship.
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JohnGalt

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2015, 11:10:26 AM »

My SO currently lives with me in my house and pays me $1000/month.  I pay the mortgage ($1732, going up to $1950 in Sept.), all utilities, and any costs associated with home repair.  I have major home maintenance costs coming up over the next few years which I estimate will total $40000.

Sounds like you pay 100% of it to me.

But it comes down to whatever you two work out between yourselves.  Don't let money be more important than your relationship.

yeah - sounds like she's essentially just paying rent to you with the current set up.

If you think that's too much to charge for rent, I'd suggest lowering her payment to a level that makes you comfortable keeping 100% ownership in the house.  When you sell the house to buy something else and/or get married, you can always revisit. 

former player

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2015, 11:20:03 AM »
I wonder whether your most concerning issue, rather than the repairs and charging your SO, is that your SO becomes so stressed about money.  Do you know why?  Is there an underlying problem with her finances?  Are her finances fine but she has trouble talking about them to you?  Is there anything you can do or say which will help with the stress?  She is about 50 years old, so it would be a good age for her to be in a position to stop stressing about finance, if you can get her there.


Catbert

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Re: Fair Financial Arrangement with SO?
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2015, 02:12:03 PM »
I'd continue to charge SO fair market rent.  Not sure what that is?  Keep an eye on Craig's List or other roommate rental sites.   Handle the repair yourself.  S/he shouldn't get added to the title until you're married.  Honestly, you're both in your late-40s/early 50s so I assume between you there is at least one divorce.  You should know that no matter how rosy things look at one point in a relationship it can change.  Divorce court untangle marriages.  Only Judge Judy sorts out the finances of almost-marrieds.

If in 5 years you're still together, married, selling your house and jointly buying a new one revisit the issue of how to hold title and split the equity going forward.  See a lawyer then to figure out what's fair to both of you as well as your children.