I think it can be dangerous to presume the inheritance. Say their investments go well, they die during a bull market, they die young without any bouts of ill health, and there is not disputes, maybe the parents think that a child has been so wonderful with money that they don't need more.
Some people, a lot in fact, have the belief that those who are good at something don't need more of it. In other words, the children who are poor with money may receive an outsized inheritance.
I don't understand why the assumption seems to be that everyone is just guessing. Sure, presuming there is an inheritance is foolhardy. But does no one else's family talk about these things? Maybe my parents are the exception. They have always lived a pretty darn mustachian existence, so admittedly they're are not the norm financially. And maybe laying it all out in very clear terms is just an extentson of that. But I'm not presuming much of anything. They've sat my sibling and me down and told us that we are both set to inherit everything they have, split 50/50, and have outlined what that means. Not only did we discuss those terms, we know who the executor is, where the safe deposit box is (mom actually drove me by the bank because she wanted to make absolutely sure I knew!) and more.
I wish my parents would spend more, but only kind of so. When I think about that statement, it's true, except I don't really wish that any more than I wish MMM would spend more. They are very happy, very comfortable, and have many things that make their life easier, but they aren't wasteful. (Isn't that what this site is more or less about, and therefore what we should want for everyone, including our parents, matter of inheritance aside?) They still do much of their own yardwork, but have a gardener to cut back on the demands on their 70+ year old bodies. They eat very well, but almost entirely made from scratch. They have hobbies on which they don't really put limits, but those hobbies are things like tennis, bridge, beer making, and beading, none of which are especially spendy. It's absolutely the dream, so why would I wish they spent more when that goes against both their values, and mine (and the values of this site)? And they have loosened up a small bit. (They are leaving today for a week in the Dominican Republic, and I'm thrilled.) But in the end, they are mustachians. Telling them to spend an extra million or two would be ridiculous, as they are no more likely to do that than most of the more devoted members of this site. They are perfectly content at their current level of spending and feel no real want. If MMM got an extra $1mm tomorrow, would he suddenly spend significantly more? I doubt it, as it's just not part of who he is and his spending levels are about his values, not the limits of his 4%. My parents are the same way. The could double their annual spending and never run out of their money. They don't not because of the money, but because they don't need or want to. Any disagreement I have with "I wish they would spend more" certainly isn't due to "... because I want to get my hands on it someday". I wish they would spend as much as they need to be happy and comfortable. And they are certainly doing that, for which I am thrilled and grateful.
Last I visited, I convinced mom to buy a gorgeous outfit we spotted at the store. It was not on sale, and she almost never buys not-on-sale, especially when it is not something she needs. But I ooohed and aaaahed and told her how lovely it looked (and it did) and she took it home. And then returned it a week later. She just couldn't. And that had nothing to do with the $100 not being available for her children to inherit. It just didn't sit well with her, based on her values.
I am exceptionally lucky, in more ways than I could ever say, to have the parents I do. They've pretty much got life figured out and are killing it by nearly every metric I can think of that matters. That their awesomeness and decades of badassity will result in a pile of money I don't need isn't even a scribble in the margin of that list. And thanks to them and the things they've taught me and modeled for me, when I'm 70, I probably won't buy the red jumpsuit either.
Villanelle, this is beautifully written. It sounds like you have terrific parents and I suspect they, in turn, are very proud of you.
However, you seem to have completely ignored that one or both of them could develop a catastrophic illness in their old age. Since Alzheimer's is one I'm intimately familiar with, I'll use that as the most obvious example. Since the cause is unknown, but has been established to not be exclusively genetic, it could happen, even without a family history. Sadly, it's so damn common that we are not talking about unicorns here, it's a real possibility.
Such an illness could prove disastrous in many ways, such as 1. Actual cost of healthcare, 2. Poor decisions made due to declining mental and/or physical health, 3. Undue financial influence by a seemingly neutral but actually self-interested party, such as a caretaker.
This shit happens every single day. To presume that your parents have their stuff so completely together that they are bulletproof is risky, IMO. Your implied criticism of everyone else who commented on this thread just doesn't feel right or fair.
Here's a personal anecdote about my parent's estate. Mom, who was the MoneyBoss of their household, asked each of their six offspring to write their name on the back of anything in the house they especially wanted. That way, if there was anything that more than one person wanted, it could be sorted out in advance. Happily, that situation never came up, but here's what did. My spendthrift sister crawled under their very late-model, paid-for car and wrote her name on the chassis. Everyone, including my parents, knew about that and treated it as a joke. Ha Ha Ha, she's so funny.
In brief, their stated wish was for the surviving spouse to get everything and after that spouse's death, everything was to be rolled into their trust and divided into six equal shares. My mother specifically omitted the grand kids, believing that the parents could pass on whatever they wished to their kids. Since some of their children did not have offspring, they felt that was the most equitable decision.
Imagine my surprise when, in settling the estate, my other sibs decided that since spendthrift sister had written her name on the car, it was hers
on top of her 1/6th share! Yes, this is the sister who was on parental life support most of her adult life and had embezzled the cash equivalent of the value of the car in the year prior to my mother's death. What the FUCK? Now my brother and I are co-trustees and co-executors. I
should have been able to veto this decision, right? My dilemma is that my parents have left this world, but my siblings are very much present. I caved, but I am still not happy about it. Worse, my spendthrift sister now knows that I alone opposed this creative interpretation of the will and trust documents. Ugh.
At one point, my parents had allotted this sister a smaller inheritance, because of all the help they'd given her. About a year before Mom died, with great effort, they visited their attorney and changed the will back to equal shares for everyone. They never knew about the embezzlement. Ironically, it was happening at about the same time, but hadn't been discovered yet.
I could go on and on, but I hope I've shared enough to illustrate that even if you think everything is perfectly sorted out, things can go sideways. I still hold that it's best to assume nothing, even if your crystal ball is in perfect order and you know exactly what the future holds.
BTW, my brother and I always received copies of their will and trust documents, both the originals and the updates. Mom always handled their finances. She and I discussed them at length a number of times. One of our regular conversations went like this:
Mom: We'd really like to leave something for each of you children after we die.
Me: That's very nice mom, but when you divide it by six... We're all fine. We'll be fine. Why don't you spend it on yourselves instead?
Mom: Hrumph
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And the red jumpsuit story? If that was my story and my mom and she looked so great in it, I'd like to imagine that I would have gone back to that store, bought it for her at any price, with my own hard-earned money, and saved it for her next birthday or other gift-giving occasion. If pressed, I
might have even let her think that I'd gotten it on sale after she returned it. Then I would have insisted she try it on and taken a picture of her in her lovely red outfit. The smile on her face would have been something to cherish forever.