This is a topic that's filled with anxiety and emotion for me, so I hoped some smart, rational, and experienced Mustachians could advise me.
The background: Hubby and I could be described as being "Mustachian Lite". We save about half our gross income. We could cut a lot deeper but are generally satisfied with our spendy habits as certain things are important to us.
Hubby earns a good living in a cyclical industry. We can live, raise our family, and still save a nice chunk on his pay alone. We figure his job is good for at least two more years, reasonably safe for five. After that, we have no certainty on whether he'll command great or middling pay.
Our 'stash, at 4% SWR, would cover 30% of our living expenses if we failed to downsize anything, 40% if I was a SAHP and we didn't outsource any childcare. And perhaps nearly 50% if we went hardcore Mustachian. (Just to give you an idea of size. We have no plans to touch it and it would take a substantial collapse in income for us to stop adding to it.)
We are mid-to-late 30s and live in a HCOL area. One wonderful child who has some special needs (not huge ones but they do require extra time and effort from us.)
My dilemma: I'm nearing the end of a leave of absence and slated to return to a job that I find very stressful. I work nearly 50% longer hours than hubby, making nowhere near the same money. Holding this job (which I've had since before hubby and I met) has been bad for my health and bad for our marriage.
I've looked for other work but I appear to be pigeonholed into my current job function if I want to make a decent amount. I have explored going back to school, but the costs are enormous unless I can identify something I really want to do (which I haven't been able to.)
My plan was always to keep earning a second income that was big enough on its own to support our family (both for FIRE goal and for security, since hubby doesn't have long-term job security.) I am now wondering if that is really necessary, especially since I am having such a hard time achieving this (unless I return to my old job.)
Am I over-worrying our family's need for income? At the moment we don't actually even need me to earn any money. In the worst-case of total income loss we would do all right moving to a LCOL area and cutting expenses to the bone. Most likely, hubby will keep earning decent money and our 'stash will keep growing.
I am wondering if it's too soon for me to step back and find an enjoyable job that might pay peanuts, but that won't consume all my time, health, or happiness. Hubby is on board, I am the one worried about the "what if" disaster scenarios where we end up jobless and broke.
Thoughts, advice, face-punches? I've omitted personal info but can try to provide other details if that may help. Thanks for reading. :)