Author Topic: Engagement rings  (Read 9809 times)

Tundra_Man

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 17
  • Location: Sioux Falls, SD
Re: Engagement rings
« Reply #50 on: January 15, 2016, 07:30:58 AM »
First, I'd say consider this somewhat of a blessing that she did this early enough in the relationship that you have time to make the necessary changes. I'm not saying you should dump her. What I'm saying is that it's obvious that you two are not yet on the same page regarding finances and your financial goals. You now know that you both need to take steps to better align yourselves with the way you manage money. You'll probably never agree 100% (nor do you have to) but you need to at least come to a point where you're not actively working against each other financially. Seeing as the #1 cause of divorce is due to money issues, it's better to work this out now before you're married rather than ignore it until afterwards only to discover at that point it's too late.

Second, you make me grateful for my wife. When we got engaged 23 years ago and went ring shopping, I was prepared to spend a pretty big chunk of money to give her the ring she wanted. As it turned out, she couldn't stomach the idea of me spending so much cash and didn't like a lot of bling anyway, so we found a simple 1/4 carat setting that she loved and was on sale to boot. I think I spent about $600. Our wedding bands were an additional $100 each.

I hold no angst to those people who want to spend more money on a ring, as long as their finances allow the expenditure without debt. But in retrospect I'm thankful my wife had the foresight to see that the ring is a reminder of our commitment to each other, not the commitment itself. About 8 years ago I managed to lose my wedding band. I bought a stainless steel ring for $12 as a temporary replacement just because I felt naked without a ring on my finger. I still have that replacement, as I've decided I like it more than my original.