Author Topic: DW facing a career dilemma  (Read 4362 times)

DrMoneyTails

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DW facing a career dilemma
« on: September 18, 2017, 03:15:49 PM »
Hello all,

My DW (35 years old) and I (31 years old) recently relocated for my new attending job. She quit her nursing job back in May to organize our cross country move.

We are finally settled into our new home and enjoying my new salary which has nearly quintupled. We are being financially savvy and not growing into our income; paying debt; saving, etc. We are frugal by nature and plan on achieving FI in 12-15 years; as long as we don't mess it up too terribly bad.

She was not happy at her old job and she tells me she doesn't believe she will ever be happy in nursing.
But she does not want to stay home and not contribute financially (we don't have any kids yet; but plan to in the next year). She got a job offer from a local hospital with a job that is incredibly similar to what she did before. The difference is, this is a part time job. She would work 20 hours a week and make $40/hour (we are in the 28% tax bracket)

She tells me she feels very unmotivated about everything about her career. She feels like she has to take this job because she knows it well like the back of her hand and because it is probably the one that will pay her the most.
She said the only thing that ever motivated her in life (in terms of career) was when she was a personal trainer 10 years ago.
A little more background information; she has a strong desire to make her parents proud and every time she tells them (partly joking) she wants to quit nursing and become a personal trainer, they voice their disapproval.

I want to help her make the best decision that will make her the happiest. I understand that she does not want to feel like she is being supported and she wants to have her own money, and I understand she feels like she would let her parents down if she quit nursing all together.

I have a hard time encouraging her to take this job or even to continue in the career because I have seen first hand how miserable she has been for the past 7 years working as a nurse.

I have suggested that if she has made up her mind about taking the job, she should do it and then work on something else on the side such as renewing her personal trainer certification; and maybe if that works out and she does love it, she can quit the nursing job. 

What would you say to her? Would you encourage her to take the job? Not take it? Keep looking for other jobs? I feel terribly helpless because I know how lost she feels; and I know she has sacrificed a lot for me and my career.

ltt

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #1 on: September 18, 2017, 03:24:16 PM »
I would probably say the same thing you said to her.  She must have applied for the job if a hospital offered her the job, correct?  But if it's part-time, then yes, she has the flexibility to work toward being a personal trainer the rest of the week.  I see this as a win-win for your wife---less hours in nursing and more movement toward a different career for her.  If it becomes absolutely unbearable, she could always find other part-time work in a health/wellness/gym facility.

lhamo

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #2 on: September 18, 2017, 03:35:50 PM »
She supported you through med school/residency?   Support her now to do what she wants.  If your debt load is huge, then maybe PT at this job while she gets certification for the physical training is best.   If you can tackle the debt easily on your salary, then encourage her to pursue her dream FT.

She will probably want to be thinking/planning a bit for how to adapt her new career through planned pregnancy/early childhood.   Maybe a focus on pregnant women/new moms?   Then she can be a visible role model/inspiration for her clients, while carving out a unique niche.

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #3 on: September 18, 2017, 03:54:07 PM »
She supported you through med school/residency?   Support her now to do what she wants.  If your debt load is huge, then maybe PT at this job while she gets certification for the physical training is best.   If you can tackle the debt easily on your salary, then encourage her to pursue her dream FT.

She will probably want to be thinking/planning a bit for how to adapt her new career through planned pregnancy/early childhood.   Maybe a focus on pregnant women/new moms?   Then she can be a visible role model/inspiration for her clients, while carving out a unique niche.

We met in residency. While she did not support me financially, she was there for my residency and fellowship and she put up with my long hours, little to no vacation, etc. Thankfully I do not have any medical school loans. Our only debts are her Nursing school student loans and Vehicles (total 50k debt).

That's a good idea; thank you for the suggestion. I will discuss it with her. Our situation is slightly different in which we are a same sex couple and whenever we decide to have kids, we will either adopt or go IVF route - in which case, I would be the one to get pregnant.

I most definitely want her to be happy in whatever career she chooses because I know what it is like to do something you hate; and just feel trapped. I currently am in a job that makes me very happy. Getting paid to do what you love is priceless. I want her to have the same happiness.
 

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #4 on: September 18, 2017, 03:54:51 PM »
I would probably say the same thing you said to her.  She must have applied for the job if a hospital offered her the job, correct?  But if it's part-time, then yes, she has the flexibility to work toward being a personal trainer the rest of the week.  I see this as a win-win for your wife---less hours in nursing and more movement toward a different career for her.  If it becomes absolutely unbearable, she could always find other part-time work in a health/wellness/gym facility.

Correct, she applied for the job.

lhamo

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #5 on: September 18, 2017, 05:21:34 PM »
She supported you through med school/residency?   Support her now to do what she wants.  If your debt load is huge, then maybe PT at this job while she gets certification for the physical training is best.   If you can tackle the debt easily on your salary, then encourage her to pursue her dream FT.

She will probably want to be thinking/planning a bit for how to adapt her new career through planned pregnancy/early childhood.   Maybe a focus on pregnant women/new moms?   Then she can be a visible role model/inspiration for her clients, while carving out a unique niche.

We met in residency. While she did not support me financially, she was there for my residency and fellowship and she put up with my long hours, little to no vacation, etc. Thankfully I do not have any medical school loans. Our only debts are her Nursing school student loans and Vehicles (total 50k debt).

That's a good idea; thank you for the suggestion. I will discuss it with her. Our situation is slightly different in which we are a same sex couple and whenever we decide to have kids, we will either adopt or go IVF route - in which case, I would be the one to get pregnant.

I most definitely want her to be happy in whatever career she chooses because I know what it is like to do something you hate; and just feel trapped. I currently am in a job that makes me very happy. Getting paid to do what you love is priceless. I want her to have the same happiness.

OOPS!  Sorry to assume you were a hetero couple.  Shouldn't have.... Cool that she can pursue her trainer goals without having to worry about how to manage a pregnancy -- and that you are in a position to support her in so many ways.   Could you consider downsizing the cars to reduce the debt?  And how much student loan debt does she still have?  If it were me, I would probably want to have my loans paid off before I started the business, so maybe she could plow the PT job money into that for awhile?

MayDay

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #6 on: September 18, 2017, 07:59:16 PM »
I would definitely tell when to take it or not, you don't care.

But tell her what you DO care about is her pursuing her passions, so regardless of the nursing job, how can you support her getting back into personal training?

And see what she says.


rdaneel0

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #7 on: September 18, 2017, 08:08:27 PM »
To me, it sounds like she's kind of unsure in general. She knows she doesn't want to be doing what she's doing, and she liked being a personal trainer, but she's not 100% in that either. If she were crazy passionate about being a personal trainer, she would do it no matter the disapproval.

Because of this, I think the best thing you can do (I'm a girl married to a guy, if that matters) is be really supportive. Voice your concerns that she might not be happy with taking a job so similar to her last job, and just reiterate that you'll support any decision she makes, whether she wants to be a personal trainer or try something new altogether.

When you really love someone it's hard to watch them struggle with decisions, but this is her thing. She just needs you to be supportive and listen to her talk through it. :) You sound like a good spouse!

Laura33

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #8 on: September 18, 2017, 08:53:00 PM »
Sounds to me like she needs some baby steps to address her own doubts and learn to deal with her parents.  I would suggest a conversation something along these lines (obviously, change as appropriate for your relationship):

1.  The deal is you are both happy, period.  Reiterate that you will do whatever it takes for her to be happy, and that her just trudging along is not an acceptable solution.  You will support whatever she decides.

2.  This does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation.  Who knows how much of the hatred of the former job was the job vs the people vs the hours?  Maybe trying this one out part-time would help her address her concerns about not paying her share/earning her own money/etc.  [this is where you reiterate that you are perfectly fine with her not bringing in a steady paycheck, but you see she is very worried about that and so are trying to brainstorm solutions.]

3.  Since she loves training, what needs to be done to turn that into a career?  Training, certifications, networking, etc.?  What does she need to do to get going on making that happen?  If this is going to be a business, can you help her develop a business plan to get there?

4.  Maybe the part-time job is a good way to split the baby -- give her a steady paycheck so she feels like she is contributing, give her sufficient time away from the office to do what she needs to build her own side training business, and give her some breathing room to really plan how to grow the business slowly and steadily instead of feeling like she has to rush it to start bringing in a paycheck.

5.  Nothing has to be permanent.  If this job isn't right, she has your permission to quit at any time.  Making the "wrong" decision here is not the end of the world.

6.  You will handle her parents however she wants.  It makes you batshit crazy when you see how they make her feel inferior if she doesn't follow their approved career path, and you hate to see her doubt herself after those discussions.  But they are her parents, so she gets to decide how you deal with them - you are more than happy to tell them to step off, but if she would prefer you will hold your peace.

I think the sensitive stuff here is that training isn't something you can just snap your fingers and make any money at -- it is a business, and it needs to be planned and run like one, and even under the best circumstances it is not hugely remunerative.  And, frankly, most people who have a passion for a side hustle spend a lot of time developing that passion in their spare time, while still working a full-time day job (the owner/lead trainer at my Crossfit gym, which has been around for @4 yrs, still runs out at 7 every morning to go work his day job!).  Your wife is in an incredibly fortunate position to be able to focus on the training business while working only part-time, or not at all.  I think it would help to lead her gently towards thinking of the business side of things, which involves a lot of planning and time, while still being supportive of whatever she ultimately decides.

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #9 on: September 19, 2017, 04:50:59 AM »
She supported you through med school/residency?   Support her now to do what she wants.  If your debt load is huge, then maybe PT at this job while she gets certification for the physical training is best.   If you can tackle the debt easily on your salary, then encourage her to pursue her dream FT.

She will probably want to be thinking/planning a bit for how to adapt her new career through planned pregnancy/early childhood.   Maybe a focus on pregnant women/new moms?   Then she can be a visible role model/inspiration for her clients, while carving out a unique niche.

We met in residency. While she did not support me financially, she was there for my residency and fellowship and she put up with my long hours, little to no vacation, etc. Thankfully I do not have any medical school loans. Our only debts are her Nursing school student loans and Vehicles (total 50k debt).

That's a good idea; thank you for the suggestion. I will discuss it with her. Our situation is slightly different in which we are a same sex couple and whenever we decide to have kids, we will either adopt or go IVF route - in which case, I would be the one to get pregnant.

I most definitely want her to be happy in whatever career she chooses because I know what it is like to do something you hate; and just feel trapped. I currently am in a job that makes me very happy. Getting paid to do what you love is priceless. I want her to have the same happiness.

OOPS!  Sorry to assume you were a hetero couple.  Shouldn't have.... Cool that she can pursue her trainer goals without having to worry about how to manage a pregnancy -- and that you are in a position to support her in so many ways.   Could you consider downsizing the cars to reduce the debt?  And how much student loan debt does she still have?  If it were me, I would probably want to have my loans paid off before I started the business, so maybe she could plow the PT job money into that for awhile?

We only have about 11k of her loans to pay off; our plan is to get rid of it by the end of this month. We are super excited to get rid of this part of our debt!! We could definitely get rid of one of the cars, and it is something in the works.. :)

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #10 on: September 19, 2017, 04:51:52 AM »
To me, it sounds like she's kind of unsure in general. She knows she doesn't want to be doing what she's doing, and she liked being a personal trainer, but she's not 100% in that either. If she were crazy passionate about being a personal trainer, she would do it no matter the disapproval.

Because of this, I think the best thing you can do (I'm a girl married to a guy, if that matters) is be really supportive. Voice your concerns that she might not be happy with taking a job so similar to her last job, and just reiterate that you'll support any decision she makes, whether she wants to be a personal trainer or try something new altogether.

When you really love someone it's hard to watch them struggle with decisions, but this is her thing. She just needs you to be supportive and listen to her talk through it. :) You sound like a good spouse!

Thank you for the advice!

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #11 on: September 19, 2017, 04:53:52 AM »
Sounds to me like she needs some baby steps to address her own doubts and learn to deal with her parents.  I would suggest a conversation something along these lines (obviously, change as appropriate for your relationship):

1.  The deal is you are both happy, period.  Reiterate that you will do whatever it takes for her to be happy, and that her just trudging along is not an acceptable solution.  You will support whatever she decides.

2.  This does not have to be an all-or-nothing situation.  Who knows how much of the hatred of the former job was the job vs the people vs the hours?  Maybe trying this one out part-time would help her address her concerns about not paying her share/earning her own money/etc.  [this is where you reiterate that you are perfectly fine with her not bringing in a steady paycheck, but you see she is very worried about that and so are trying to brainstorm solutions.]

3.  Since she loves training, what needs to be done to turn that into a career?  Training, certifications, networking, etc.?  What does she need to do to get going on making that happen?  If this is going to be a business, can you help her develop a business plan to get there?

4.  Maybe the part-time job is a good way to split the baby -- give her a steady paycheck so she feels like she is contributing, give her sufficient time away from the office to do what she needs to build her own side training business, and give her some breathing room to really plan how to grow the business slowly and steadily instead of feeling like she has to rush it to start bringing in a paycheck.

5.  Nothing has to be permanent.  If this job isn't right, she has your permission to quit at any time.  Making the "wrong" decision here is not the end of the world.

6.  You will handle her parents however she wants.  It makes you batshit crazy when you see how they make her feel inferior if she doesn't follow their approved career path, and you hate to see her doubt herself after those discussions.  But they are her parents, so she gets to decide how you deal with them - you are more than happy to tell them to step off, but if she would prefer you will hold your peace.

I think the sensitive stuff here is that training isn't something you can just snap your fingers and make any money at -- it is a business, and it needs to be planned and run like one, and even under the best circumstances it is not hugely remunerative.  And, frankly, most people who have a passion for a side hustle spend a lot of time developing that passion in their spare time, while still working a full-time day job (the owner/lead trainer at my Crossfit gym, which has been around for @4 yrs, still runs out at 7 every morning to go work his day job!).  Your wife is in an incredibly fortunate position to be able to focus on the training business while working only part-time, or not at all.  I think it would help to lead her gently towards thinking of the business side of things, which involves a lot of planning and time, while still being supportive of whatever she ultimately decides.

Thank you for taking the time to answer us!! I 100% agree with what you said, and I have showed her this thread as well. I always tell her about nothing being permanent. Whether she takes it or not, it is not a life sentence and she can change her mind.
Will definitely sit down and think of the business side of things as well.

SavinMaven

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #12 on: September 19, 2017, 02:20:47 PM »
You have gotten great advice already. But I did want to make one angle explicit: she has (obviously) put a lot of time, money and energy into getting a nursing license in the first place. If she does not stay active in patient care, it gets harder and harder to renew the license down the road. So in my opinion, until/unless she is certain of a non-nursing career path, she should do what it takes to keep that credential while exploring other interests. I think the 20 hr/wk job is the best of both worlds - keep up to date clinically, while having plenty of time to start a side hustle as a personal trainer.

BTW, a lady near me is a PT, who is also a certified yoga instructor, and who has now started her own company providing wellness, nutrition, and exercise counseling to harried affluent suburbia. So the combo for your wife of being both a nurse (with an active license) and a wellness coach/trainer could be powerful and accelerate her business.

As for needing her parents' approval - most of us can relate to that on some level or another - and it's way easier said than done, but at some point, she just has to break free. This may require counseling.

Good luck to both of you!

2Birds1Stone

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #13 on: September 19, 2017, 03:40:33 PM »
I'm in the camp where I think 20 hours a week at a reasonably high paying job is an awesome way to make time for a second career like PT.

PT's often don't work too many hours back to back, so the workload is also likely to be in the single to low double digit hours at first, if her PTing takes off? Great! Quit nursing and pursue full time, PT she should make at least $40/hr unless she's employed by a commercial gym, then it's paid slavery.

Zero Degrees

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #14 on: September 19, 2017, 05:29:06 PM »
First, congrats on the new job!

As a fellow RN, I can totally understand where your wife is coming from.  Nursing is hard and oftentimes thankless and it can wear on a person.

The thing about nursing is you can do many other things besides direct patient care. I had a love/hate relationship with it, so when the opportunity presented itself to do other work, I grabbed it.

I still work in healthcare and I am required to maintain my RN license, but I have not touched a patient in 10 years! This was the perfect balance for me after burning out because I could still work in the field I loved, yet maintain my sanity. I furthered my education beyond the nursing, but chose a route that I wasn't boxed into only being a nurse.

I personally think an RN/Personal Trainer would be a fantastic combination.  I think she should go for it if you two can make it happen. I would also recommend she maintain her license because it will help her and it's a bitch to get it back if you let it lapse as a couple of my nurse friends did.


DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #15 on: September 20, 2017, 04:36:26 AM »
You have gotten great advice already. But I did want to make one angle explicit: she has (obviously) put a lot of time, money and energy into getting a nursing license in the first place. If she does not stay active in patient care, it gets harder and harder to renew the license down the road. So in my opinion, until/unless she is certain of a non-nursing career path, she should do what it takes to keep that credential while exploring other interests. I think the 20 hr/wk job is the best of both worlds - keep up to date clinically, while having plenty of time to start a side hustle as a personal trainer.

BTW, a lady near me is a PT, who is also a certified yoga instructor, and who has now started her own company providing wellness, nutrition, and exercise counseling to harried affluent suburbia. So the combo for your wife of being both a nurse (with an active license) and a wellness coach/trainer could be powerful and accelerate her business.

As for needing her parents' approval - most of us can relate to that on some level or another - and it's way easier said than done, but at some point, she just has to break free. This may require counseling.

Good luck to both of you!

Thank you!
Yes, we both agree that she has invested a lot of time and money in the nursing career which makes it very difficult to just simply call it quits.

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #16 on: September 20, 2017, 04:37:45 AM »
Thank you all for the great advice and reassurance.
She took the job and I firmly believe it was the right decision - she wanted to have a beer to celebrate afterwards! :)
 
Hopefully it confirms to be a good decision when she starts it next month.

Thank you all again :)))

Maenad

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #17 on: September 20, 2017, 08:51:06 AM »
Congrats to you and your DW! As someone who was once in the career doldrums, has she talked to a mental health professional at all? I ask because mine was caused by untreated dysthymia, and getting on the right med brought me back up to a place where I can feel passionate and enthusiastic about things again. A therapist or counselor can also just help with clarifying priorities, etc.

Beach_Stache

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #18 on: September 20, 2017, 09:02:59 AM »
Sounds like you have the right approach, and it's DW and her family that need to adjust their thinking.  Parents will always be disappointed :)  Do they know you will be FI in 12-15 years on your current path?  That may make them happier knowing that their daughter and family are taken care of and you guys know what you're doing.

If she's interested in doing personal training then I would have her set her path in that direction.  If she can't get around not stepping away from nursing then why not take the part time job and then doing personal training part time as well?  She can always look to decrease nursing hours in the future if she's doing well training or can quit all together.  Plenty of people change careers mid-life, it sounds like she knows what she wants to do, she just needs to have that talk w/her family.  Would they be resentful b/c they paid for her school?  I imagine if they know you are on the path to early FIRE and have your finances sorted out that they would be a lot more understanding of her quitting the nursing field.

steggy81

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #19 on: September 20, 2017, 12:22:19 PM »
I think the part time nursing job with the option of working towards personal training is a win for her.  I am currently working full time (36 age) with two young children supporting my husband in Medical Dosimetry school.  I have been at the same company for 10 years and am absolutely miserable now.  Was happy for a while, but I want a change.  Mid-life crisis?  I can't do anything about it now, but when my husband graduates in 324 days, yes I'm counting, it is my turn to do something for me.  So I say support her 100% in her choice.  I will say that although I'm miserable right now I will probably continue to work for at least one more year in my current position because it pays well which will allow us to be in a much better position than if I were to walk out immediately when he starts working. Your wife probably feels like she has to take the nursing job which really is probably the best decision.

  If you are on this site, I have to assume you are somewhat frugal but I think the 50k cars are too much.  I still can't wrap my head around the car notes.  I'm not nearly as frugal as most on this forum, but I'd never pay that much for a car and I live in Houston, TX where we DRIVE everywhere.  :)    Can you sell at least one of them?


AccidentalMiser

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #20 on: September 20, 2017, 09:07:08 PM »
She would work 20 hours a week and make $40/hour (we are in the 28% tax bracket)

I hate the idea of someone taking a job they hate unless they must to discharge their basic responsibilities to themselves and those that count on them.  That's not the case here so I would advise her to go do what she wants to do as long as you are cool with footing the bills while she pursues something she loves.  She'll be able to achieve her career goals sooner and you'll both be happier in the end.

Do you REALLY need that extra 500 bucks per week (it's not 800 because of taxes and all that shit)?  Doesn't sound like a sacrifice I'd want my wife to make.

As far as her parents' approval is concerned, she (and they) just need to get over that.  Surely, they don't want her to be miserable.

former player

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #21 on: September 21, 2017, 02:17:47 AM »
Just to say, one thing that hasn't been addressed here is the cross-country move, which I suspect is a significant element in all of this, along with being the following partner.

Taking the part-time job in a familiar area of work sounds to me like an excellent way for OP's DW to settle in to a new area and make her own social and professional connections independently of OP, and much easier than trying to set up a business/independent contractorship in a new geographical area and with limited personal connections.  She can always resign if it's not working out for her.

The other thing is: newly qualified doctors quite often don't stay in their first job but move on to something more suitable after a year or so.  DW having a job gives OP a bit of flexibility (mentally, if nothing else) to take an objective look at her own position and think about whether or not it is right for her long term.

In other words, it all looks good to me from here.

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #22 on: September 23, 2017, 04:27:08 PM »
I think the part time nursing job with the option of working towards personal training is a win for her.  I am currently working full time (36 age) with two young children supporting my husband in Medical Dosimetry school.  I have been at the same company for 10 years and am absolutely miserable now.  Was happy for a while, but I want a change.  Mid-life crisis?  I can't do anything about it now, but when my husband graduates in 324 days, yes I'm counting, it is my turn to do something for me.  So I say support her 100% in her choice.  I will say that although I'm miserable right now I will probably continue to work for at least one more year in my current position because it pays well which will allow us to be in a much better position than if I were to walk out immediately when he starts working. Your wife probably feels like she has to take the nursing job which really is probably the best decision.

  If you are on this site, I have to assume you are somewhat frugal but I think the 50k cars are too much.  I still can't wrap my head around the car notes.  I'm not nearly as frugal as most on this forum, but I'd never pay that much for a car and I live in Houston, TX where we DRIVE everywhere.  :)    Can you sell at least one of them?



Yes, I think she does feel like she has to stay in that career at least for a little while..

I apologize for not being more clear about our debt; we definitely don't own 50k cars, lol. I drive a car that's worth 12k (owing 10k in it) and my wife owns a 23k car which we bought new last year. She drove her last car for 12 years until it was no longer drivable so even though we understand brand new vehicles are a depreciating asset the second you drive off the lot, we both drive our cars for 10 years plus. The rest of our debt is student loans from my wife's nursing school

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #23 on: September 23, 2017, 04:28:04 PM »
She would work 20 hours a week and make $40/hour (we are in the 28% tax bracket)

Do you REALLY need that extra 500 bucks per week (it's not 800 because of taxes and all that shit)?  Doesn't sound like a sacrifice I'd want my wife to make.


Not at all, which is why it kind of pains me to see her taking a job that she hates =/

DrMoneyTails

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #24 on: September 23, 2017, 04:30:24 PM »
Update:
She decided to take the job late last week. Initially I think she was happy and excited and we even had drinks to celebrate it. Now that she has a set start date and things are getting real, I think she is starting to feel more anxious about it. I truly hope this is not the same as her previous job as I want her to enjoy her work as much as I enjoy mine; or if nothing else, I hope she meets great new people and makes friends and connections.

gettingtoyes

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #25 on: September 23, 2017, 05:16:18 PM »
I work in healthcare as a nurse practitioner. If your wife isn't happy, remind her that there are so many different types of nursing that she can do. Is she doing acute care? She could do clinic, school nursing, billing for an insurance agency, telephone triage, all kinds of things. Hope the new job goes well

frugalmom

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Re: DW facing a career dilemma
« Reply #26 on: September 24, 2017, 07:35:10 PM »
Update:
She decided to take the job late last week. Initially I think she was happy and excited and we even had drinks to celebrate it. Now that she has a set start date and things are getting real, I think she is starting to feel more anxious about it. I truly hope this is not the same as her previous job as I want her to enjoy her work as much as I enjoy mine; or if nothing else, I hope she meets great new people and makes friends and connections.

Not a nurse.  Don't work in healthcare.  However before my daughter was born I was working full-time in a job I hated & I was bored.  My now ex-husband had a super high income.  I went into work after much discussion and gave notice.  I think I said I could stay 6 weeks.  After the initial shock wore off my employer (I had just won some major awards and was really good at this one thing--that no one else company wide could master) a VERY smart manager asked me to reconsider quitting--and instead to present a proposal with reduced hours.  She pointed out, I could quit again if I wanted--sort of no harm no foul.

I put some thought into it, because I liked my co-workers.  It was just 40 hours, with all my family responsibilities etc, etc, etc was too much--plus when full time they frequently pushed me for overtime.  I presented them a 24 hour a week schedule (I completely switched my hours to ones that were better for me) and the job went from drudgery to joy.  Same job.  My particular schedule was 7 am- 1 pm M-Th

I'm not saying that will happen for your spouse. 

Also there is such a need for people in the medical field to have an understanding of nutrition and athletics.  I am not sure what type of nursing she has been doing; but off the top of my head I know a good endocrinologist could make use of those skills I also know plenty of professional athletes (think marathoners or cyclists--not NFL) who would love to be trained by someone who had first hand medical background in orthopedics for example.  Heck, sounds like she'd make an excellent nurse for a sports camp.

Just remind her she has choices.  Really the only thing $$ does is give you freedom to make choices.  She's a young woman--her life is in front of her, we don't all find our happy at 22---some of us are still figuring it out at 50.....just makes us more interesting.