Mustachians who are in couples: how do you handle the consequences of household chores not getting done?
For example: my husband (who I love, despite this particular issue driving me up the bloody wall) has a habit of 'forgetting' tasks that actually have consequences, or saying that he's 'too tired' and going to bed. The problem is that not doing these tasks causes actual issues that someone (ahem: me) needs to find the resources to deal with.
I'm not talking, like, doing dishes, or something with no direct consequences. Actual example: my husband is supposed to be responsible for the laundry. If, in the middle of summer, you leave damp clothing in a pile in the corner of the laundry room for a full week, it will grow mold stains and need to be replaced/relegated to schlepping around the house clothing. Someone then needs to take care of either dying the clothing to hide the stains, or buying new, and finding the money to do that (usually me). Or sometimes I seriously don't feel like doing dishes and packing lunches, and I could just say 'eff it, I'm going to bed, we'll buy lunch', but then I know that we'll be out 25$ for lunch and 25$ is a bit steep for not wanting to spend 10 minutes putting things in pots.
Like... he gets the general concept of 'he is responsible for X and I am responsible for Y', but that seems to get lost at the execution part of it. It sometimes seems like my options are to either be on his case about the things he's supposed to be responsible for (... thus both making him sulky and adding to my already-full plate, which I don't have room for), or to figure out where to get the money to make up for the things that have been ruined by lack of action on his part. And that makes me super resentful, because I'm also the one handling the budget and while we're on the same page long-term he doesn't seem to see that short-term actions impact long-term planning, and so I feel like I'm the only one trying, and it sucks.
Straight talk: would it be reasonable to propose that we actually write down what we're each responsible for, and agree that consequences of failing to do that come out of our personal fun money? (aka: I don't want to pack lunches, so I will pay for both our lunches out of my fun money. Or he lets the clothing mold, so he's responsible for paying for the replacements.)
Basically: I'm looking for a way of living together that doesn't leave me either nagging him to do his stuff, seething that I'm doing all of it, or resentful that I'm financially paying for the consequences of his not getting it together.