A few suggestions:
1. Do something to get out of yourself and be of service to someone else. Adopt or foster a pet
2. Practice gratitude.
3. This idea that we have to be part of a couple to be happy causes more misery than anything else out there. .
4. Make a phone call and go get screened for depression.
Thanks for the thorough response.
I've wanted to get a dog for a while, but I have a tiny apartment and wouldn't be at home and awake for more than three hours a day during the week. That's never seemed fair to me with respect to the dog's needs.
I doubt I need to be screened. Back when I used to see counselors they started referring to my depression as Dysthymic Personality Disorder. Which I figure just means "you've been sad to long, this is just who you are". I just don't have a lot of faith in the mental heath institutions around here. Red River Gorge helped me a lot more.
I would try the above, personally, I'd start with getting a dog. Dogs ease the blues, get you out of the house, going to the dog park where you do meet other people. I talked to my vet about how I was not home during the hours of work for my two dogs. She said if I hooked up a video feed, I'd realize dogs sleep 20 hours a day. And not saving a shelter dog because of the not being home fear, I think we can all agree that a dog who will eventually be euthanized would be thrilled to live with you instead. Maybe get one that's not a puppy, though, you don't need that much stress.
Agree on 2 and 3. Writing down even just one thing that was not horrible that day, is a start. As for being coupled, IDK how old you are, but sometimes it feels good to be uncoupled for a while. After my divorce I felt that way, after the end of a 7yr relationship, I've felt that way since. At first, it was just kind of nice not to be working on a relationship. Then I became pretty sick and the very last thing I care about is meeting somebody. Maybe work on making you happy and acknowledge that it is perfectly ok to be single for a while. When you feel better and are happy, you will project that and it will draw someone in.
Somehow I missed the part that you have been told you have dsythymia. This does not mean nothing gets done about it for years and it is not regularly assessed to see where you are with it.
"The two main treatments for dysthymia are medications and talk therapy (psychotherapy). Medications appear to be more effective at treating dysthymia than psychotherapy when either is used alone. Using a combination of medications and psychotherapy may be slightly more effective." ~ Mayo Clinic
Does this sound like you?
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/dysthymia/basics/symptoms/con-20033879From what you've said, it probably does. Untreated 20 yr dysthymia, once it's lasted that long, you need to see someone regularly to talk and consider meds. You do not have to just live with it, if that's what you've been told. Can your primary get you into someone good? And sometimes the therapist or shrink is not a good fit, move on, you will find someone that clicks before you make it through the list of therapists your insurance covers. It is so hard, but do you want another decade like this?
if you're not too sure, try taking the depression screening tests at valid medical sites, like the Mayo Clinic. The results might push you to get help.
