Do You/Have You Had Angry Resting Face? What Did You Do About It?

[EcoCanuck]

Ha. Old thread but glad someone bumped it in to the spotlight.

I had people ask this about me a lot when I was younger - are you mad or sad or whatever. The main reason was that whenever I was thinking or focused on something my face was fairly expressionless. The example that comes to mind the most was in a social situation. I was playing video games with friends and one of my friend pointed out that he had looked at every single persons face while we were playing (and they were waiting their turn) and that everyone showed different expressions - some were pure joy of playing, some clearly frustrated and then myself just a blank expression.

This also impacted work in life as well when a sales role was thrust upon me (introverted at core)- I had to purposely consider my facial expressions and 'aura' if you will to be more friendly and inviting - this has benefited me since. Since then my facial expressions and 'aura' has had me be complemented as being super confident and older and wiser than I am. The result has been new opportunities and also being able to BS my way in to and out of many situations.

Simply considering and taking a little bit of time to reflect on how you're presenting to other people has a great impact. I wish I had realized this at a much younger age.

I hope the OP has found some peace with it :)

[dragoncar]

Ha. Old thread but glad someone bumped it in to the spotlight.

I had people ask this about me a lot when I was younger - are you mad or sad or whatever. The main reason was that whenever I was thinking or focused on something my face was fairly expressionless. The example that comes to mind the most was in a social situation. I was playing video games with friends and one of my friend pointed out that he had looked at every single persons face while we were playing (and they were waiting their turn) and that everyone showed different expressions - some were pure joy of playing, some clearly frustrated and then myself just a blank expression.

This also impacted work in life as well when a sales role was thrust upon me (introverted at core)- I had to purposely consider my facial expressions and 'aura' if you will to be more friendly and inviting - this has benefited me since. Since then my facial expressions and 'aura' has had me be complemented as being super confident and older and wiser than I am. The result has been new opportunities and also being able to BS my way in to and out of many situations.

Simply considering and taking a little bit of time to reflect on how you're presenting to other people has a great impact. I wish I had realized this at a much younger age.

I hope the OP has found some peace with it :)

When I'm focused, I stick my tongue out.  That's how my family knows I'm really thinking hard about something

[YK-Phil]

Yep, I have it.  How has this video not been posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3v98CPXNiSk

OMG That was hilarious. I especially liked the wedding proposal.

My ex-hubby had Terrorist Face. He was your basic white guy but when he got the five O'clock shadow and was hungry or tired or ...well...thinking, he looked like a Jihadist on a suicide mission. But once he was talking and aware (i.e. not resting his face) he had a very happy bright face so you knew you weren't going to die that day.

I'm still laughing at this one. I also have a terrorist face, even though I am a typical white guy, and always well dressed. With a five o'clock shadow, I guess I too look like a Mafia boss or Pablo Escobar, or one of their hired hand who does the dirty work. I don't know what it is that triggers suspicions, but my wife is always leery about traveling with me because of that. I was "arrested" several times by immigration and police services, in Canada and abroad, and sent to an interview room for no valid reason. I missed my flight three times because of these interviews. Funny thing is that it never happened when I travel alone, only when she was with me. A few years ago at the Frankfurt airport, my wife and I were waiting for our plane. I left to go to the washroom, and came back a few minutes later, escorted by two huge and heavily armed policemen. For whatever reasons, they decided they needed to question me about my stay in Germany, and requested to see my papers, which I had left with my wife. She almost freaked out when she saw me, and said loudly "what did you do AGAIN?" as if I had ever done something wrong hahaha

[thurston howell iv]

Well at least you guys don't smile like this:

[ysette9]

I suspect I suffer from a mild version of this as well. Part of what is going on is I unconsciously furrow my brow all the time. If I am mindful I can get it to relax momentarily. My husband used to go around pressing his thumb in the middle of my forehead and telling me "un-squinch"!. I am definitely getting a big crease there which I can see genetically came down from my father's side of the family.

Since I am vain, I have recently tried a little Botox in that area. I have to say, I have been really pleased with how it turned out. I feel like it is helping my unconscious reaction to scrunch up my brown since I can't physically do it as much as before, and that big crease has almost gone away. I wonder if you can consider doing something along those lines?

The other thing I have noticed is that for me, as a blonde woman, if I don't wear mascara then people assume I am really tired or otherwise not doing well. Now I just always go out with mascara on but in the past I also tried getting my eyelashes dyed.

[Benpercent]

And the OP has risen from the dead! Sorry. I'm not one for forums these days.

I did find a very effectively structured solution to my problem that I thought of a couple years back.

Other posters were essentially right that smiling more does the trick, but the key part is to make sure that there are wrinkles near the eyes, which seems to make all the difference in how people ultimately interpret you. (A so-called "duchenne" smile.)  No matter how toothy a smile I give otherwise, people can still tend to assume I'm pissed off.

So what I did that worked comes in two parts:

1.) Hold a crazily intense smile for ten minutes straight (like the Joker from Batman) per day to strengthen the facial muscles. I'll do it when I'm alone in a nature park and won't be seen, or while driving on the expressway and hope no one looks in their mirror.

* The big problem with my angry resting face is that the lack of habitual smiling makes for very weak muscles, which makes any smile feel unnatural and forced, even if other people do like it. This exercise will strengthen the muscles and make it feel natural.

2.) Make an effort to hold a suggestion of a smile throughout the day, and track when you consciously duchenne smile in your interactions.

* Aside from having weak facial muscles, I often just didn't remember to smile when I'm talking with friends or people I'm making a first impression with. What I do these days is carry one of those training clickers you get for dogs or horses, and whenever I smile when I should (or forget) I'll click it as a way to constantly remind myself, kind of like having a string around your finger, but also constantly tugging at it for extra reminding force.

- - - - -

And no more angry resting face problem! Though, it does come back on occasion, so I keep up with this general process.

[Lyssa]

Congrats that you've solved that problem or at least found a work-around! As with my "faking a smile for a genuine reason" I don't really know which it is... In any case, good thing you've realised this was a problem and worked on it.

[obstinate]

Honestly if I had this issue I might consider cosmetic surgery. I know in America that's not considered a "nice" thing to say, but if you have the means it might be worthwhile.

[TheWifeHalf]

Years ago my husband went into an appliance store for something, then came home.
I went to the same store in the afternoon, talked to a salesman, and said my husband was in earlier for something. He asked, you mean the angry looking guy?

Years later, I was in labor with our first son. Our family doctor delivered him, and told me later "I was kind of scared of your husband"

When I told my husband, on both occasions, his comment, "Good"

We are a case of 'opposites attract.'  He is very serious, very left brained. I am a cup is half full type of gal,  right brain/left brain (I didn't know there was such a thing and was glad I learned of it, it explained me to myself)

I guess his way has helped him in his work, and I have learned to be more serious - one of the reasons I married him. He did some union work for years, maybe 15, and I use to kid him about his 'union' face.
One advantage I remember: He used to do our taxes and did not agree with the IRS about something ($1000 difference) We paid what they told us to pay, but it got to the point that he had to go talk to them, somewhere.  He came back victorious. He is always so calm, just states the facts, and I suspect that is why the people even listened to him.

He doesn't see any reason to change and to me, he's the guy I married, if I didn't like it, why did I marry him?