FWIW I didn't read all the comments.
I'm getting married in April. JOP wedding with only immediate family in attendance, followed by a boozy brunch at a local brewpub with a few very close friends. No religion in the ceremony, which should take about 5 minutes. Just us declaring in front of our families our intentions to spend the rest of our lives together, and signing the relevant paperwork.
We are having a big party in our hometown to celebrate with family and friends later this year. NOT a reception. Think Midwestern BBQ. No dancing, no cake cutting, no traditional pinnings of any kind. About 90 people, because the BF has a big, really close family.
We planned all of this before we told our parents we were getting married, to make sure we didn't get suckered into any things we were "expected" to do. BF was very active in the planning process, because we're partners... and also because we both didn't want much at all, so planning was easy. Saved us from having: bridal shower(s)/engagement party/bachelor(ette) parties/formal wedding dress/flowers.
The traditions we ARE participating in are:
1) rings (daily reminders of our love and commitment; mine is a family ring, BF's is from Amazon FTW)
2) rehearsal dinner (to spend time with JUST our families)
3) (very, very tiny) registry (because in both our families, older people consider it uncouth not to bring a gift, and we'd rather get things we want [bath towels, new lidded trashcan, not plastic measuring cups] than crap we don't need; we have maybe 15 things on our registry, including two charities; we've also emphasized numerous times that gifts are certainly not expected that that our family and friends' presence is present enough).
4) Photos (friend who is breaking into the biz, so we're getting them on the über discount)
We're also paying for EVERYTHING.
Our parents were just glad they're getting to witness the wedding; I think both sets just expected us to call one day and say, "Oh, not a whole lot new here... oh yeah, we went down to the courthouse and made it legal the other day..."