Author Topic: Do you really need a couch?  (Read 3942 times)

meghan88

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #50 on: August 07, 2019, 03:07:18 PM »

My formal decree is that especially if you're too old for making out, you're too old not to have a couch. If I went to a date's house (for any activity) and they didn't have a couch I would assume, fairly or not, that they're still in the maturity phase of not being able to let go of their frat boy years. Triple that if your "guest seating" incorporates bean bag chairs.

LOL ... so true.  Have you considered a modular sofa?  Easy to move, easy to split up into chairs.

Radagast

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #51 on: August 08, 2019, 12:17:59 AM »
I lived for about 8 months in an apartment with no couch, and never again! I realized it is to me about the least optional furniture. Anything could become a table. Especially when I was single, a couch have doubled as a bed. Even now, the couch and coffee table are top of the list, alongside a bed.

Ironic thing is so far I have never paid for a couch, and right now we only have a love seat, which is pushing the limit! :D

Malkynn

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #52 on: August 08, 2019, 04:54:14 AM »
OP, looking at that Eames chair, I just realized that my parents don't have a sofa. They have some larger rattan chairs off the kitchen that fit two people, but cannot be lounged on by a single person, and they have only Eames type chairs in the living room.

Growing up we also only had chairs in our family room. We had sofas in the more formal living room, but we only used them with company.

If you don't have a lot of guests and are comfortable lounging in an Eames type or Lazy Boy type chair, then who cares if you have a sofa?

The issue I would take with your setup is that you only have one lounge/comfortable chair, which means you have nowhere cozy for a single guest to sit. When there's a group of people, they tend not to be too picky about seating, but for me, when I have a single guest over, it's usually to settle in for awhile and talk etc, so I want them to be optimally comfortable.

Even just a nice plush ottoman with a comfortable sitting chair would do.

dcheesi

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #53 on: August 08, 2019, 05:36:56 AM »
Yeah, I really feel like there's a lack of comfy furniture there. The arms on those director's chairs don't look very inviting.

Also the furniture is just a little sparse for the size of the living room.

A couch would fix both issues.

insufFIcientfunds

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #54 on: August 08, 2019, 05:38:10 AM »
Not sure if you are going for free chemical, male/female bodily fluid infused, bug infested CL (I picked one up from a dumpster once) couch, but if you plan to buy a decently priced couch, it will cost you much less than buying two arm chairs in most cases. Especially if that arm chair has an ottoman.

If not, buy a love couch. Smaller, cheaper, and forces her to be close to you from the start. Who makes out on the couch? She's all stuck in the middle cushion?? Maybe try the dryer (running preferably.) Makes you look responsible for actually cleaning your things, and I'm sure she wouldnít complain either! :)

Or just sit on the floor....

Ann

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #55 on: August 08, 2019, 06:59:48 AM »
While there are several reasons to get a couch, it sounds like none of them strike a chord with the OP.  If you donít want a couch for  sprawling, napping, making out and accommodating a more variable number of guests .. then donít bothering getting a couch.  Especially since the OPís standards make couch purchasing start in the $2000 range.

If you have comfortable seating for guests they will be accommodated.  It really sounds like you, OP, just donít *want* a couch.  It appears as though some people will judge but thatís a peculiar point to get hung up on.

Me?  I love my couch.  I love it when other people have couches.  I wouldnít hold it against anyone as long as they can comfortably seat me.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2019, 07:11:07 AM by Ann »

DeniseNJ

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #56 on: August 08, 2019, 08:10:48 AM »
Quote
For the record and to quash any "frat boy" comparisons, this is what my living room currently looks like.

* 68567807_402118573756859_1511760138082451456_n.jpg (385.76 kB, 2048x1536 - viewed 11 times.)

lol  Even your cat doesn't want to sit on those chiars.  Get a couch.

mountain mustache

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #57 on: August 08, 2019, 08:39:55 AM »
Quote
For the record and to quash any "frat boy" comparisons, this is what my living room currently looks like.

* 68567807_402118573756859_1511760138082451456_n.jpg (385.76 kB, 2048x1536 - viewed 11 times.)

lol  Even your cat doesn't want to sit on those chiars.  Get a couch.

Yes, or just some comfier chairs. Your living room may not say "frat boy" but it certainly doesn't say "stay awhile and make yourself at home"

index

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #58 on: August 08, 2019, 09:59:31 AM »
Get a loveseat. You can get something decent quality from Joybird etc. for 12 to 15 hundred. 

 
That room would look nice with a love seat, the nicer chair and one of your two coffee tables.

GuitarStv

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #59 on: August 08, 2019, 12:54:20 PM »
What games are these? The games whereby you mutually enjoy physical affection with a person you are getting to know better? Masters of manipulation, I'm sure -- any serious dating candidate would immediately jump to the true intimacy of being too tired for sex and bickering about each other's relatives.
The type of games where being a good kisser (or not) is still seen as a major qualifier for a long term relationship (or not).

Quote
My formal decree is that especially if you're too old for making out, you're too old not to have a couch. If I went to a date's house (for any activity) and they didn't have a couch I would assume, fairly or not, that they're still in the maturity phase of not being able to let go of their frat boy years. Triple that if your "guest seating" incorporates bean bag chairs.
Honestly, if a date defined maturity on the basis of owning a couch or not, and was inflexible on that perspective, then it's quite likely there wouldn't be another date and I doubt they would have been in my home in the first place.

For the record and to quash any "frat boy" comparisons, this is what my living room currently looks like.

I kinda think there's too much furniture there, which is the problem.  Get rid of all the chairs and the rug.  Replace with a tatami mat and a couple very small cushions.  Boom.  You've got a place to chill, sleep, AND do judo.  There's like . . . no down side.

ketchup

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #60 on: August 08, 2019, 01:06:47 PM »
What games are these? The games whereby you mutually enjoy physical affection with a person you are getting to know better? Masters of manipulation, I'm sure -- any serious dating candidate would immediately jump to the true intimacy of being too tired for sex and bickering about each other's relatives.
The type of games where being a good kisser (or not) is still seen as a major qualifier for a long term relationship (or not).

Quote
My formal decree is that especially if you're too old for making out, you're too old not to have a couch. If I went to a date's house (for any activity) and they didn't have a couch I would assume, fairly or not, that they're still in the maturity phase of not being able to let go of their frat boy years. Triple that if your "guest seating" incorporates bean bag chairs.
Honestly, if a date defined maturity on the basis of owning a couch or not, and was inflexible on that perspective, then it's quite likely there wouldn't be another date and I doubt they would have been in my home in the first place.

For the record and to quash any "frat boy" comparisons, this is what my living room currently looks like.

I kinda think there's too much furniture there, which is the problem.  Get rid of all the chairs and the rug.  Replace with a tatami mat and a couple very small cushions.  Boom.  You've got a place to chill, sleep, AND do judo.  There's like . . . no down side.
You'd like my giant downstairs "living room" and "dining room" area.  Barely any furniture at all except for some dog crates.  We like to joke that the dogs own the house and we just live in the upstairs apartment.

Aelias

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #61 on: August 08, 2019, 01:25:06 PM »
Look.  I'm firmly on #teamcouch.  I love our couch.  We spent more on our couch than any other piece of furniture in our house because we knew we'd be living on that couch.   And we do.  It's a movie theater, home office, and kitchen table for me and my husband, a jungle gym and fort for our kids, and my all-else-fails cure for insomnia.

But. If you're not sure you need a couch, don't get one right away.  Do without one for a while and see if you like it or if you miss the couch.  One mistake we made when furnishing our first house was buying everything we thought we needed all at once.  Some of those purchases turned out great (I love you, couch!).  Some were stupid (lousy storage ottoman).  And it's easier to not buy something in the first place than to get rid of something you don't need.

TL/DR -- Know thyself.  Buy accordingly.

ETA:  Just saw the photo of your living room.  It looks fine, and it seems like it meets your needs.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

« Last Edit: August 08, 2019, 01:31:41 PM by Aelias »

panda

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #62 on: August 08, 2019, 03:02:59 PM »
The issue I would take with your setup is that you only have one lounge/comfortable chair, which means you have nowhere cozy for a single guest to sit. When there's a group of people, they tend not to be too picky about seating, but for me, when I have a single guest over, it's usually to settle in for awhile and talk etc, so I want them to be optimally comfortable.
So I was pondering this about and baring the occasional date, I usually it's been groups of people coming over and we end up sitting on the floor around the coffee table. So the couch ended-up just being a really expensive backrest. So I've been debating getting a couple zabuton cushions and leaving it at that.

Yeah, I really feel like there's a lack of comfy furniture there. The arms on those director's chairs don't look very inviting.

Also the furniture is just a little sparse for the size of the living room.

A couch would fix both issues.
They actually aren't that bad if you have a throw pillow for them! You can't exactly flop down in them, but I've sat in them for awhile chatting with people and they are a good size for just doing that. Not really good for sitting for a long period of time reading a book or something though.

Layout of the room is fine though and the sizing is a bit of a trick of the camera, a friend of mine (NCIDQ) helped me lay it out. They have mixed feelings about the couch as well - it's expected to be there (as this thread shows!) but on the same token, for a single person a really good lounge chair tends to be used more than a couch.

lol  Even your cat doesn't want to sit on those chiars.  Get a couch.
The cat didn't like sitting on the couch either, apparently the cat likes being close to the ground.

If you have comfortable seating for guests they will be accommodated.  It really sounds like you, OP, just donít *want* a couch.  It appears as though some people will judge but thatís a peculiar point to get hung up on.
Well, I don't want to spend the money on the couch I like, but over the years I can't say that I've ever really had a couch that was really good for reading or playing video games on (i.e., I always wanted a good lounge chair) so I started asking why I needed a couch in the first place. From reading this thread it seems like there are really only two reasons: one, some place for guests to sit; two, some place to make-out on. From the stand point of guests, it's not really a very compelling argument to buy something that's not going to get used very often (I feel the same way about things like fondue sets), takes up a lot of space, and is a pain to move (I'm a postdoc so I will be moving in a couple years). As for making out, eh, looks like not having a couch might be a good compatibility test. :D

Malkynn

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #63 on: August 08, 2019, 04:05:07 PM »
Then you should maybe look into some comfy floor seating if that's what your guests end up doing anyway.
Why not??

As long as you have somewhere comfy for guests so that it's not just you in your cozy lounger and them on chairs that are okay as long as there's a pillow.

iris lily

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #64 on: August 10, 2019, 07:15:38 AM »
I was well into my 40s before I purchased upholstered furniture. I donít think I bought a standard traditional couch until I was mid 50s maybe late 50s.

But we didnít buy  couches. For years we brought in couches from the alley. We didnt even get them used on craigslist we actually found them abandoned in the alley and brought them in to our house.That was in the days before bedbugs. I think we brought in three catches that way used them for a couple years and then pitch them. Our dogs are very messy dirty and saw them pee on the couch so there was no point in ever have anything nice.Our house was a construction zone anyway so it didnít matter what the furniture look like because nothing was painted and there was no woodwork up.

But when we finished the living room area became very nice looking and then I bought nice upholstered furniture. Prior to that I did like intakes and I had to look at a couple of wood pieces, a chest and a Victorian cabinet and those were something that the dogs couldnít destroy, for the most part. Although I did have a foster dog a couple years gnaw on the leg of one of them.


former player

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #65 on: August 11, 2019, 01:57:35 AM »
A seemingly hitherto unacknowledged truth is that there are people who like to sit and people who like to lie.  I'm a confirmed lie-er, but I know other people who are sit-ers.

If you are a sitter, you do not want a couch.  If you are a lie-er, you want one.

Most of our ancesters didn't have the space for a couch, didn't have the money for a couch and didn't have the time to lie on a couch even if they had the space and the money.  The idea that a couch is an essential piece of furniture is a very Johnny-come-lately concept.

Schaefer Light

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #66 on: August 11, 2019, 06:09:31 AM »
A seemingly hitherto unacknowledged truth is that there are people who like to sit and people who like to lie.  I'm a confirmed lie-er, but I know other people who are sit-ers.

If you are a sitter, you do not want a couch.  If you are a lie-er, you want one.
That's a good point.  If I'm watching TV or reading, I'm going to be sitting.  If I want to lie down and take a nap, then I'd rather be in my bed than on a couch.

panda

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #67 on: September 11, 2019, 01:44:00 PM »
A month later update: still haven't bought a couch and don't really miss having one either. When I had guests over the director chairs were find (getting better throw pillows for them) and people used a combination of chairs and the floor for seating.

The relationship that planted a bug in my ear about getting a couch also ended for reasons other than not having a couch.

WSUCoug1994

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #68 on: September 11, 2019, 07:49:39 PM »
I somehow missed this thread and I am so glad it was revived.  Only on MMM can we argue about the relative importance of having a couch.  I thought the "making out" theory would win out but I might be biased because I am #teamcouch because I hate sitting on the floor at my house or your house.

singpolyma

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #69 on: September 11, 2019, 08:24:16 PM »
still haven't bought a couch and don't really miss having one either

This is the ultimate answer IMHO, if you don't get it and you don't miss it, then you're winning.

Zikoris

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #70 on: September 11, 2019, 08:31:00 PM »
Ehhhhh making your guests sit on the floor is kind of shitty. I don't have a couch either due to space/layout, but I wouldn't ever have more butts than seats in my apartment. I don't think you necessarily need a couch, but something to sit on other than the floor would be prudent if you like having guests. If I had to sit on the floor when I visited someone, I would not visit them again.

expatartist

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #71 on: September 11, 2019, 09:15:36 PM »
I have no couch and probably never will. They're comfortable wastes of space (IMO), encourage lethargy which I struggle with already, are monolithic and also difficult to get really clean. In east Asia where I live, people tend to be very sensitive to western body odor and strong scents (though stinky tofu is a thing, go figure).

Since my climate is hot and humid like Florida with very short winters, and my home is also an occasional art space/artists residency with semi-public events, all my furniture is multifunctional. Sweat management, aesthetics, mold resistance and I suppose unconscious branding of my project/art were all factors. Probably my favorite piece of furniture is an antique Chinese daybed with tatami which functions as a couch during events, and a bed for visiting artists. I just love looking at it too, though it's so heavy only professionals can move it.

OP sounds like going couch-free is a great idea for you. A tatami mat with pillows against the wall can be a nice substitute for a bulky couch if you want to make out/have a bunch of friends over to lounge.

panda

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Re: Do you really need a couch?
« Reply #72 on: September 12, 2019, 07:37:59 AM »
Ehhhhh making your guests sit on the floor is kind of shitty. I don't have a couch either due to space/layout, but I wouldn't ever have more butts than seats in my apartment. I don't think you necessarily need a couch, but something to sit on other than the floor would be prudent if you like having guests. If I had to sit on the floor when I visited someone, I would not visit them again.
Might be the Japanese influence in my design, but I do have some zabuton (floor cushions) for overflow seating. Even when I had a couch there were a lot of times were we would sit on those to play a board game. The couch just ended up being an expensive back rest.