Author Topic: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?  (Read 27290 times)

nawhite

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #100 on: January 26, 2015, 10:38:19 AM »
I certainly use to be an open book until my DH started making a lot more, now we don't tell anyone since it changes the way they look at us, we are still the exact same people we just make more money than we used to, ok a lot more, but still.

My wife and I are in a similar boat. I used to really enjoy talking to friends about it. At the end of college everyone was discussing who got what offers from what companies and it was great. Everyone was learning a lot about negotiating and money management and we talked about 401k contributions ("Absolutely contribute at least to the company match level!" oh, how far I have come), car loans vs buying used, student loan balances, saving for down payments etc.

Then I stuck around for another year to get a masters degree in a field where the masters really is worth a 15% pay bump, got some certifications, and changed jobs twice. Now 5 years out from undergrad and I make ~60% more than many of the offers I remember my friends got and I get to work from home. I got REALLY lucky, but now I feel awkward discussing these things with the same people (especially because some people had trouble finding great jobs in 2009 and that will affect their lifetime earnings immensely).

For a while we could play the "we have a LOT of student loans" card for why we were living far below our means. I'm pretty sure most people would read that as "oh they must be paying an extra rent payment worth of loans, no wonder they live so frugally" as opposed to the truth that we were paying 4 times more than our rent on the loans (paying thousands per month more than the minimum by choice) while we were also maxing out a 401k and two IRAs. I'm afraid I'd lose friends over explaining that truth.

This thread has been really helpful at helping me work through it in my head.

DeltaBond

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #101 on: January 26, 2015, 12:24:21 PM »
Yeah, underweight, doh... fixed it.

pdxbator

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #102 on: January 26, 2015, 04:52:47 PM »
I don't discuss finances with anyone from work. We are all union so can pretty much guess about where people are on the pay scale. However, we still don't talk openly about it.

With family I wish we talked more about it as it would have made for some good learning moments. Luckily I feel like my siblings and I have all come away with decent financial sense. My parents never talked about their finances with us, which could have had some good learning opportunities. They were wise I feel not to let on how wealthy they have become. It may have made slackers if we saw inheritance as a way not to be productive in life. Now in my early 40s my parents are giving us all money and it has been quite a bit and I know now how to take care of it wisely for my future.

I could never talk about inheritance finances with any friends though. Most people would view me as a 'trust funder' and I don't see myself like that. I like being frugal, going dutch out to dinner with friends, etc. I don't want to be seen as the guy with a million in the bank who can pick up the bill. I don't let on at all that I'll be retiring by the time I'm late 40s with plenty of money to enjoy life.

With my husband we openly talk about finances, but he doesn't really understand how wealthy I am already. I keep my inheritance (gifted money) separate and don't let on as to the wealth we will have in the family. For now we both work jobs we mostly enjoy until the time comes I have totally had it with the politics at work and say toodle-loo. I'm retiring!

JoJoP

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #103 on: January 26, 2015, 05:18:39 PM »
Wow, so many different answers.  What a great thread.

I am the cheerleader type of person, and hope that all my friends have the best life they can.   I am completely self made, so I feel like anyone can do it.  So I find myself sometimes talking too much, too excitedly, about my great deals or multiple rentals.   I think it's a bit off-putting for some, especially the ones burdened by short sighted spendthrift habits.  I still make the mistake of thinking that people aren't actually running credit card balances, eating sushi when they have no money, etc etc.

  But truthfully, I"m so darn HAPPY to be where I am in life that it's hard to restrain.   I don't talk about net worth, because I know mine is pretty high,  but I constantly talk about getting ahead through rentals, investments, prudent shopping, etc.    It is such a focus of my life-- that I forget such happiness and excitement over the way that things are, exactly, right now, can be an enviable position. 

MishMash

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #104 on: January 26, 2015, 05:26:35 PM »
I can't remember if I already posted about this in this thread but when I retired at 58 a good friend of mine who is 8 years older & works for herself tried to talk me out of it. She then left me a voice message at work telling me not to do it.  Her & her hubby also got mad that we were selling our big home & buying a small home.  They also hated that we were getting pensions. She pointed to my hubby & said "Is he getting one of those things too?" in a nasty voice. We had been friends for 16 years & she knew the reason we both worked for the state was for the pensions.   I only stayed friends with them for another year & then dumped them.  All the years we were friends she knew our plan but I guess did not believe we would do it.
Wow, some friend!   
I am an open book about finances with my husband, my parents and one close friend and that is it.  I work in a small office where I am an assistant to two lawyers.  There is one other assistantbesides me.  I am not sure what anyone there thinks since I don't have a vast wardrobe and take local vacations.  I think I mentioned 'investments' once so who knows what they think.

I get the BS from my MOTHER, the constant 'well, don't bank on it because plans can change' or 'don't expect everything to just magically work out (uh, I don't expect magic, I expect plans to)' and the favorite assumption that hubs and I will take care of her in a few years.  We've stopped talking to her about what we save (sick of getting the 'you guys need to LIVE a little, which we do in our opinion), and about what our net worth is (got the if you are worth THAT much you should buy a house bigger then that tiny shit box you live in).  She's just such a negative person that it's really wearing on our relationship and my husband can barely stand to be near her anymore.  She also expects us to pretty much pay for everything when she is around and CONSTANTLY wants to go out to eat when either one of us visits instead of cooking, even when I offer to cook at HER house for her.  They also hit us up for a few grand this summer to bail my brother out of a jam...see the pattern there?

That said we have a couple of friends we can talk to.  Both are high income earners with one of them making almost our household income by himself in a CRAZY paying security field.  He's had problems finding dates that don't want him for the money so he gets the idea of gimmie gimmies.  The other one knows our plans, but she's more spendy so I think she has her doubts that we can pull it off but she's verbally supportive none the less. My coworkers are a bunch of over consuming lease a holic zombies, I don't mention anything to them

EarlyStart

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #105 on: January 26, 2015, 07:03:10 PM »
I can't remember if I already posted about this in this thread but when I retired at 58 a good friend of mine who is 8 years older & works for herself tried to talk me out of it. She then left me a voice message at work telling me not to do it.  Her & her hubby also got mad that we were selling our big home & buying a small home.  They also hated that we were getting pensions. She pointed to my hubby & said "Is he getting one of those things too?" in a nasty voice. We had been friends for 16 years & she knew the reason we both worked for the state was for the pensions.   I only stayed friends with them for another year & then dumped them.  All the years we were friends she knew our plan but I guess did not believe we would do it.
Wow, some friend!   
I am an open book about finances with my husband, my parents and one close friend and that is it.  I work in a small office where I am an assistant to two lawyers.  There is one other assistantbesides me.  I am not sure what anyone there thinks since I don't have a vast wardrobe and take local vacations.  I think I mentioned 'investments' once so who knows what they think.

I get the BS from my MOTHER, the constant 'well, don't bank on it because plans can change' or 'don't expect everything to just magically work out (uh, I don't expect magic, I expect plans to)' and the favorite assumption that hubs and I will take care of her in a few years.  We've stopped talking to her about what we save (sick of getting the 'you guys need to LIVE a little, which we do in our opinion), and about what our net worth is (got the if you are worth THAT much you should buy a house bigger then that tiny shit box you live in).  She's just such a negative person that it's really wearing on our relationship and my husband can barely stand to be near her anymore.  She also expects us to pretty much pay for everything when she is around and CONSTANTLY wants to go out to eat when either one of us visits instead of cooking, even when I offer to cook at HER house for her.  They also hit us up for a few grand this summer to bail my brother out of a jam...see the pattern there?

That said we have a couple of friends we can talk to.  Both are high income earners with one of them making almost our household income by himself in a CRAZY paying security field.  He's had problems finding dates that don't want him for the money so he gets the idea of gimmie gimmies.  The other one knows our plans, but she's more spendy so I think she has her doubts that we can pull it off but she's verbally supportive none the less. My coworkers are a bunch of over consuming lease a holic zombies, I don't mention anything to them


The first paragraph you wrote describes why I don't talk openly about it outside of my SO and a family member or two. People who suck at finances are sometimes total dicks to people those who do not. I really don't have the patience to convert Joe the Plumber or Sally the Orthodontist. If someone asks, I'll talk about my beliefs regarding portfolio theory, etc, but not my number or lifestyle choices.

expatartist

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #106 on: January 26, 2015, 08:47:50 PM »
my former Chinese co-workers had no problem stating exactly what they earned (probably to the consternation of HR), but that is probably b/c they didn't realize the level of disparity.

Could be the level of disparity. There's also a pragmatism and openness about money in China/East Asia. Strangers will routinely ask what you make, how much you pay for rent/how much your house cost, etc.

Adventine

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my former Chinese co-workers had no problem stating exactly what they earned (probably to the consternation of HR), but that is probably b/c they didn't realize the level of disparity.

Could be the level of disparity. There's also a pragmatism and openness about money in China/East Asia. Strangers will routinely ask what you make, how much you pay for rent/how much your house cost, etc.
Yep. Those are perfectly acceptable conversation topics in this part of the world.

MishMash

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #108 on: January 27, 2015, 07:06:24 AM »
I can't remember if I already posted about this in this thread but when I retired at 58 a good friend of mine who is 8 years older & works for herself tried to talk me out of it. She then left me a voice message at work telling me not to do it.  Her & her hubby also got mad that we were selling our big home & buying a small home.  They also hated that we were getting pensions. She pointed to my hubby & said "Is he getting one of those things too?" in a nasty voice. We had been friends for 16 years & she knew the reason we both worked for the state was for the pensions.   I only stayed friends with them for another year & then dumped them.  All the years we were friends she knew our plan but I guess did not believe we would do it.
Wow, some friend!   
I am an open book about finances with my husband, my parents and one close friend and that is it.  I work in a small office where I am an assistant to two lawyers.  There is one other assistantbesides me.  I am not sure what anyone there thinks since I don't have a vast wardrobe and take local vacations.  I think I mentioned 'investments' once so who knows what they think.

I get the BS from my MOTHER, the constant 'well, don't bank on it because plans can change' or 'don't expect everything to just magically work out (uh, I don't expect magic, I expect plans to)' and the favorite assumption that hubs and I will take care of her in a few years.  We've stopped talking to her about what we save (sick of getting the 'you guys need to LIVE a little, which we do in our opinion), and about what our net worth is (got the if you are worth THAT much you should buy a house bigger then that tiny shit box you live in).  She's just such a negative person that it's really wearing on our relationship and my husband can barely stand to be near her anymore.  She also expects us to pretty much pay for everything when she is around and CONSTANTLY wants to go out to eat when either one of us visits instead of cooking, even when I offer to cook at HER house for her.  They also hit us up for a few grand this summer to bail my brother out of a jam...see the pattern there?

That said we have a couple of friends we can talk to.  Both are high income earners with one of them making almost our household income by himself in a CRAZY paying security field.  He's had problems finding dates that don't want him for the money so he gets the idea of gimmie gimmies.  The other one knows our plans, but she's more spendy so I think she has her doubts that we can pull it off but she's verbally supportive none the less. My coworkers are a bunch of over consuming lease a holic zombies, I don't mention anything to them


The first paragraph you wrote describes why I don't talk openly about it outside of my SO and a family member or two. People who suck at finances are sometimes total dicks to people those who do not. I really don't have the patience to convert Joe the Plumber or Sally the Orthodontist. If someone asks, I'll talk about my beliefs regarding portfolio theory, etc, but not my number or lifestyle choices.

Yea it's odd though because she was SUPER frugal when I was growing up, a real coupon clipping budget wrangler, we were pretty much poor my whole life but they have never had consumer debt outside of a car loan and mortgage.  She's the one that always taught me to save the pennies, and how to buy and sell yardsale finds and how to find the best deal on anything.  There is nothing in the world that woman can't make for a house.  She made her fair share of bad choices in life, like not seeking more advanced employment when the youngest of us (me at 32) went to elementary school but for the most part she was fairly normal in life.  It's only been in the last 5-10 or so years that she's gotten so angry and vindictive which is the sad part.  She's up there in age and hasn't realized really any of her dreams (through a combo of her own choices and my fathers atrocious health) so I think that's where it comes from.  But honestly, I'm just tired of her shitting on my Cheerios and not really sure what to do about it outside of just not talking about it.

I'm just glad that I have a couple of people in my life to talk to, and that forums like this exist where one can ask for help, or compare stories, without the onus of personal relationships/emotions coming into play.

caliq

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #109 on: January 27, 2015, 07:22:24 AM »
I can't remember if I already posted about this in this thread but when I retired at 58 a good friend of mine who is 8 years older & works for herself tried to talk me out of it. She then left me a voice message at work telling me not to do it.  Her & her hubby also got mad that we were selling our big home & buying a small home.  They also hated that we were getting pensions. She pointed to my hubby & said "Is he getting one of those things too?" in a nasty voice. We had been friends for 16 years & she knew the reason we both worked for the state was for the pensions.   I only stayed friends with them for another year & then dumped them.  All the years we were friends she knew our plan but I guess did not believe we would do it.
Wow, some friend!   
I am an open book about finances with my husband, my parents and one close friend and that is it.  I work in a small office where I am an assistant to two lawyers.  There is one other assistantbesides me.  I am not sure what anyone there thinks since I don't have a vast wardrobe and take local vacations.  I think I mentioned 'investments' once so who knows what they think.

I get the BS from my MOTHER, the constant 'well, don't bank on it because plans can change' or 'don't expect everything to just magically work out (uh, I don't expect magic, I expect plans to)' and the favorite assumption that hubs and I will take care of her in a few years.  We've stopped talking to her about what we save (sick of getting the 'you guys need to LIVE a little, which we do in our opinion), and about what our net worth is (got the if you are worth THAT much you should buy a house bigger then that tiny shit box you live in).  She's just such a negative person that it's really wearing on our relationship and my husband can barely stand to be near her anymore.  She also expects us to pretty much pay for everything when she is around and CONSTANTLY wants to go out to eat when either one of us visits instead of cooking, even when I offer to cook at HER house for her.  They also hit us up for a few grand this summer to bail my brother out of a jam...see the pattern there?

That said we have a couple of friends we can talk to.  Both are high income earners with one of them making almost our household income by himself in a CRAZY paying security field.  He's had problems finding dates that don't want him for the money so he gets the idea of gimmie gimmies.  The other one knows our plans, but she's more spendy so I think she has her doubts that we can pull it off but she's verbally supportive none the less. My coworkers are a bunch of over consuming lease a holic zombies, I don't mention anything to them


The first paragraph you wrote describes why I don't talk openly about it outside of my SO and a family member or two. People who suck at finances are sometimes total dicks to people those who do not. I really don't have the patience to convert Joe the Plumber or Sally the Orthodontist. If someone asks, I'll talk about my beliefs regarding portfolio theory, etc, but not my number or lifestyle choices.

Yea it's odd though because she was SUPER frugal when I was growing up, a real coupon clipping budget wrangler, we were pretty much poor my whole life but they have never had consumer debt outside of a car loan and mortgage.  She's the one that always taught me to save the pennies, and how to buy and sell yardsale finds and how to find the best deal on anything.  There is nothing in the world that woman can't make for a house.  She made her fair share of bad choices in life, like not seeking more advanced employment when the youngest of us (me at 32) went to elementary school but for the most part she was fairly normal in life.  It's only been in the last 5-10 or so years that she's gotten so angry and vindictive which is the sad part.  She's up there in age and hasn't realized really any of her dreams (through a combo of her own choices and my fathers atrocious health) so I think that's where it comes from.  But honestly, I'm just tired of her shitting on my Cheerios and not really sure what to do about it outside of just not talking about it.

I'm just glad that I have a couple of people in my life to talk to, and that forums like this exist where one can ask for help, or compare stories, without the onus of personal relationships/emotions coming into play.

Has she been evaluated for the typical neurological issues that come with age?  Dementia, Alzheimer's, etc?  I think a personality shift is often a sign of brain changes.  Course she could just be sad that she didn't get what she wanted out of life and jealous that you're on the path to be able to.

Ricky

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #110 on: January 27, 2015, 07:36:02 AM »
I met with a good friend for drinks the other day. He wanted to get some career/life advice. An inextricable part of his career choices, though, are financial. He got a late start in life on his career path but right now it's a good one. However, he's only making now what he should've been making 5 years ago and that's tough because he's got a few young kids and his wife doesn't work. So, budgeting is tight and he's tempted to switch jobs since he could get an immediate $10-20k pay bump. In doing so, though, he'd give up a job which has a higher ceiling long-term with regard to pay.

In talking about his dilemma, he disclosed to me how much he made. He was very hesitant to do so, but told me. He's my friend, so I wouldn't care if he made $10,000 or $10,000,000, but it was crazy to me how hesitant he was to put a number on his current job and potential job(s) even though we're pretty close. It just made me realize yet again money-phobic our society is. No one wants to talk about it.

Does anyone here take an open book approach with their finances? Like, you talk about it without regard to whether people will judge you one way or the other for it (i.e. think you're bragging, think you're rude, or think it's cool that you're open, wish more people would do the same, etc)?

I think the advice to stay with his current job is obviously bad. $10-$20k today this year is worth much more now than 5-10 years down the road. Plus, he can always switch again.

I'm not a closed book. I won't disclose certain things because there is always a back story with money. That's why it's just best not to talk about it. Telling someone you make $100k/yr really says nothing. It doesn't say how hard you worked/didn't work to get there. It doesn't say how you spend your money, meaning you may or not actually "have" money. Giving people numbers is just a bad idea unless you really feel like explaining your situation so they don't sit there and try to judge you and come up with a million reasons on how you're in the situation you're in. I want people to see me as a person, not a number.

infogoon

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #111 on: January 27, 2015, 07:45:27 AM »
Yea it's odd though because she was SUPER frugal when I was growing up, a real coupon clipping budget wrangler, we were pretty much poor my whole life but they have never had consumer debt outside of a car loan and mortgage.  She's the one that always taught me to save the pennies, and how to buy and sell yardsale finds and how to find the best deal on anything.  There is nothing in the world that woman can't make for a house.  She made her fair share of bad choices in life, like not seeking more advanced employment when the youngest of us (me at 32) went to elementary school but for the most part she was fairly normal in life.  It's only been in the last 5-10 or so years that she's gotten so angry and vindictive which is the sad part.  She's up there in age and hasn't realized really any of her dreams (through a combo of her own choices and my fathers atrocious health) so I think that's where it comes from.  But honestly, I'm just tired of her shitting on my Cheerios and not really sure what to do about it outside of just not talking about it.

I'm just glad that I have a couple of people in my life to talk to, and that forums like this exist where one can ask for help, or compare stories, without the onus of personal relationships/emotions coming into play.

Has she been evaluated for the typical neurological issues that come with age?  Dementia, Alzheimer's, etc?  I think a personality shift is often a sign of brain changes.  Course she could just be sad that she didn't get what she wanted out of life and jealous that you're on the path to be able to.

Not to sound flippant, but has she started watching a lot of cable news channels? I've had a few relatives get hooked on Fox News after retirement and become markedly more angry, pessimistic, and combative. That shit is straight-up brain poison.

MishMash

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #112 on: January 27, 2015, 07:55:17 AM »
Yea it's odd though because she was SUPER frugal when I was growing up, a real coupon clipping budget wrangler, we were pretty much poor my whole life but they have never had consumer debt outside of a car loan and mortgage.  She's the one that always taught me to save the pennies, and how to buy and sell yardsale finds and how to find the best deal on anything.  There is nothing in the world that woman can't make for a house.  She made her fair share of bad choices in life, like not seeking more advanced employment when the youngest of us (me at 32) went to elementary school but for the most part she was fairly normal in life.  It's only been in the last 5-10 or so years that she's gotten so angry and vindictive which is the sad part.  She's up there in age and hasn't realized really any of her dreams (through a combo of her own choices and my fathers atrocious health) so I think that's where it comes from.  But honestly, I'm just tired of her shitting on my Cheerios and not really sure what to do about it outside of just not talking about it.

I'm just glad that I have a couple of people in my life to talk to, and that forums like this exist where one can ask for help, or compare stories, without the onus of personal relationships/emotions coming into play.

Has she been evaluated for the typical neurological issues that come with age?  Dementia, Alzheimer's, etc?  I think a personality shift is often a sign of brain changes.  Course she could just be sad that she didn't get what she wanted out of life and jealous that you're on the path to be able to.

Not to sound flippant, but has she started watching a lot of cable news channels? I've had a few relatives get hooked on Fox News after retirement and become markedly more angry, pessimistic, and combative. That shit is straight-up brain poison.

Oh she is totally with it, at 70 she's got a brain like a hawk...there is NOTHING that woman doesn't forget, and she sees a shrink.  Physically she's in great shape, had some knee issues that caused some depression for a while because she couldn't get out of the house or walk far, but after a double knee replacement she has no issues like that anymore.

 In regards to TV, she watches a lot of it, but usually not the news, says it's simply too depressing. 

Pooperman

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #113 on: January 27, 2015, 07:55:52 AM »
Like many above, I tend to be pretty open about it. I prefer to lead by example and talk about what SO and I spend vs what we earn. Reason being is that the people I talk to have widely varying incomes, and the spending is what matters in the end anyways. I've even challenged two coworkers to the "track your spending in February" challenge. I don't expect them to tell me what they spent, but I hope at the end of the month they see where the money has gone and start making some changes. Both seemed interested in my thought of retiring by 40 or being frugal in general.

My family knows what I make ($65k). My mother is a little surprised by what we spend (~$30k), but we also don't earn ~$400k or spend ~$150k. I told her what I make and spend after she gave me about $1k for my (25th) birthday and Christmas combined. She understands but will give me and SO money until she and my stepfather die. I am the only heir, and they will have plenty left over... ironic since I'll be FI already.

I like talking about money, and being in a good place net worth wise makes it easier. If I was in mega negative territory, or older and nearly $0 net worth (either side), I could imagine being less receptive to financial discussions. Again, that's why I tend to talk about spending instead of anything else. It's common ground that everyone can talk about without feeling bad for the most part.

Lia-Aimee

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #114 on: January 27, 2015, 08:15:44 AM »
I don't go out of my way to talk about it, but don't avoid it either.  I work in a field where I have access to a lot of salary data, so friends frequently come to me to talk about earning power. Leads to some interesting chats overall. 

EllieStan

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #115 on: January 27, 2015, 09:18:24 AM »
Money has never been a taboo for me, I've always talked openly about how broke I was as a student. However, I wish people were more honest about their finances, because for years (my early 20s mostly) I've believed the ''Jones'' myth. I was under the impression that everybody was incredibly wealthy right out of college and that I would never have the same things they had. It didn't occur to me that many of them were probably in deeper financial crisis than I ever would be, but I used to envy their lifestyle.

Now that my finances are in order, I like to share the tips and tricks that I've learned to save money or to manage it more wisely. I'll also honestly say ''I can't afford it'' in casual discussions if someone asks about a house, our wedding, a travel, etc. It's not something I'm ashamed of, but I want to make it clear that I do not wish to spend money I don't have. By doing so, I hope I can set a good example, because I feel I had many, many bad ones when I was a young adult.

The taboo, for me, comes with actually having a good networth and wealth. When this day comes, I'm not sure I'll display how much my husband and I earn/own as openly, because I feel it sets too much expectations from other people, and much entitlement.

pdxbator

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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #116 on: January 27, 2015, 10:32:49 AM »
I'll also honestly say ''I can't afford it'' in casual discussions if someone asks about a house, our wedding, a travel, etc. It's not something I'm ashamed of, but I want to make it clear that I do not wish to spend money I don't have. By doing so, I hope I can set a good example, because I feel I had many, many bad ones when I was a young adult.

This! It seems people are afraid to be honest with others. Get invited to a a fancy dinner that will be split out? If you can't afford it people need to be upfront. Same with the destination weddings that people are having these days. I can't afford to fly to Hawaii for 5 days for your wedding. Sorry. I'm honest about it.

Zikoris

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  • Location: Vancouver, BC
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Re: Do you every say "Screw it...I'm gonne be an open book about my finances"?
« Reply #117 on: January 27, 2015, 10:41:08 AM »
my former Chinese co-workers had no problem stating exactly what they earned (probably to the consternation of HR), but that is probably b/c they didn't realize the level of disparity.

Could be the level of disparity. There's also a pragmatism and openness about money in China/East Asia. Strangers will routinely ask what you make, how much you pay for rent/how much your house cost, etc.

I've noticed that as well from first generation Chinese immigrants in Vancouver! My boyfriend's parents had no problem asking me things like how much my rent was from the first time I met them. Same with coworkers, strangers on the bus, etc. I'm completely fine with it and tell people without a second thought if they ask, but it definitely seems like westerners are way more hesitant to ask until they know you better.