Author Topic: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?  (Read 19426 times)

mm31

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #50 on: May 08, 2014, 12:23:21 PM »
When I see someone with a new gadget, I always marvel at how nice it is, but I rarely tell myself I want to have it too. It seems like just seeing the person enjoying their new gadget is enough for me. I get the momentary good feeling without having to spend any money.


mbl

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #51 on: May 08, 2014, 01:29:54 PM »
When I see someone with a new gadget, I always marvel at how nice it is, but I rarely tell myself I want to have it too. It seems like just seeing the person enjoying their new gadget is enough for me. I get the momentary good feeling without having to spend any money.

I wish there was some sort of a thumbs up icon to attach to posts that I want to applaud.
Well stated and I have to say I find myself reacting in much the same way.
It is nice to see people truly enjoy something.
Sometimes on this site, many act as killjoys with regard to what others buy/have/acquire....it can get old after awhile.

libertarian4321

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #52 on: May 08, 2014, 02:19:52 PM »
I'm warped and twisted.

I don't enjoy shopping.

I don't enjoy buying stuff.

So no jealousy for me.

dadof4

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #53 on: May 08, 2014, 02:34:06 PM »
Feel like sharing any of your strategies? I could use some free pizza :)
Go to slickdeals.net or fatwallet.com, and keep your eyes open :)  Most of the deals below have expired, but others keep coming.
For example:

The free pizza was a deal using gathr from AOL. I signed up for a package that included $16 amazon gift card and $10 dominos pizza for $15 a month, first month was free, cancel anytime.

Free hamburgers are from a Carl's Jr phone app. I can have as many 6 dollar burgers as I want.

Free office supplies are from Staples, using easy rebates. I was never a fan of rebates, but these are hassle free and really work. For example, I bought $200 worth of binders, got $260 in rebates. Cha-Ching!  Will probably donate a bunch of binders and copy paper to my kids' schools.

Free tools and clothes are from Sears and K-Mart. Sign up for shopyourway rewards, every few weeks they'll give you $4-7  to spend using "surprise points".

Radio Shack had a promotion where you bring in your old junk, and they give you a $25 gift card. Got some android phones and RC toys.

Boost Mobile had a double promotion. One was from Discover, and another from a cashback site (topcashback.com). Bought a $60 phone, got $86 back.

Just need to keep hunting*!

--------------------------

*Some will say that deal hunting is in fact work, and their time is better spent elsewhere. If it feels like work, then I agree, it isn't worth it. You can probably make more money doing other things.

I personally enjoy it.
« Last Edit: May 08, 2014, 02:36:02 PM by dadof4 »

neevers

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #54 on: May 08, 2014, 03:59:35 PM »
I think some of it might be jealousy, but most of it I think it zealotry, IE. thinking that "we" have found the way, the only way, the only right way. People have a right to live their life as they see fit. Sure we may derive our pleasure from not spending money and watching it grow in our savings account, or in our investments etc, however others may find more pleasure in spending their money on a movie, or a dinner, or a fancy car. It's not my place to judge others for how they live, I only wish to live my life in a way that gives me the most amount of pleasure for my short time here. And I feel sorry for those who cannot see a different point of view from their own, which is very dangerous, and causes humanity most of it's ills in one way or the other.

 So embrace your lifestyle and don't look down on others if they live differently than yourself.

deborah

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #55 on: May 08, 2014, 06:56:34 PM »
I sometimes think about things I would like - for instance a house on 5 acres would be lovely - I could grow lots of food, have some food animals and be self-sustaining. I guess we even have the money for it. But it would be a big burden and I have set up my place with its small yard so it is pretty good. It is also close to shops and medical facilities... Five acres is a dream - not something I would really want every day.

This happens with just about everything. Jealousy might last an hour while I am looking at something, but generally not the three day rule (don't buy anything for 3 days). If it does last, well, I have enough to buy it, so I need to work out where to put it, and what I am prepared to give up for it (so my house doesn't become more cluttered).

bobmarley9993

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #56 on: May 08, 2014, 07:26:21 PM »
A little bit for nice houses in choice areas.   I guess it is mostly the area.   I just see there being quality of life benefits to certain areas in the city I live in.   


In general, I am a bit of a poser.  If I had the investments to support it I would spent $100k a year no problem.  I am not one of those people who saves simple because I feel I don't need anymore.

BPA

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #57 on: May 08, 2014, 08:09:37 PM »
I think some of it might be jealousy, but most of it I think it zealotry, IE. thinking that "we" have found the way, the only way, the only right way. People have a right to live their life as they see fit. Sure we may derive our pleasure from not spending money and watching it grow in our savings account, or in our investments etc, however others may find more pleasure in spending their money on a movie, or a dinner, or a fancy car. It's not my place to judge others for how they live, I only wish to live my life in a way that gives me the most amount of pleasure for my short time here. And I feel sorry for those who cannot see a different point of view from their own, which is very dangerous, and causes humanity most of it's ills in one way or the other.

 So embrace your lifestyle and don't look down on others if they live differently than yourself.

Funny.  I'm not picking up that vibe from this thread at all.  In fact, I thought it was quite the opposite and that some people were admitting that they do long for what a lot of spendier people have.  And if we don't long for it, that's okay too. 

I'm not jealous of others and I don't want them to be jealous of me. 

BFGirl

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #58 on: May 08, 2014, 08:53:02 PM »
A little bit for nice houses in choice areas.   I guess it is mostly the area.   I just see there being quality of life benefits to certain areas in the city I live in.   


In general, I am a bit of a poser.  If I had the investments to support it I would spent $100k a year no problem.  I am not one of those people who saves simple because I feel I don't need anymore.

+1

horsepoor

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #59 on: May 08, 2014, 09:51:04 PM »
A little bit for nice houses in choice areas.   I guess it is mostly the area.   I just see there being quality of life benefits to certain areas in the city I live in.   


In general, I am a bit of a poser.  If I had the investments to support it I would spent $100k a year no problem.  I am not one of those people who saves simple because I feel I don't need anymore.

I am a poser too.  Or maybe not, going off of my user name.  If I had the means, I would have a horse farm, with help to maintain it, and dressage vacations in Europe.  However, I feel pretty lucky to have the horses that I do have, and the 14 year old truck/trailer and used tack I've cobbled together off of Ebay.  I don't feel real pangs of jealousy towards those who can or do spend more on their horse hobby.

I do get a bit jealous of home spending and restaurant spending though.  Part of the Restaurant piece is the drudgery that's been mentioned before.  Over the past few years, we've cut back more and more on our eating out, and making eggs and salad is about the extent of DH's repertoire, so the idea of a break from cooking by going out and squandering $30 on dinner on a Tuesday night makes me a little green now and then.  I also get a little jealous on the home spending because it kills me to pay people to do things I can do myself, and also because I would love to have a big kitchen renovation, but couldn't possibly justify the cost, when I'm able to cook in my current kitchen just fine.  So part of me is jealous of people who get their dream kitchen, or hire out to get a perfectly landscaped yard.

NeverWasACornflakeGirl

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #60 on: May 09, 2014, 04:55:03 AM »
I think some of it might be jealousy, but most of it I think it zealotry, IE. thinking that "we" have found the way, the only way, the only right way. People have a right to live their life as they see fit. Sure we may derive our pleasure from not spending money and watching it grow in our savings account, or in our investments etc, however others may find more pleasure in spending their money on a movie, or a dinner, or a fancy car. It's not my place to judge others for how they live, I only wish to live my life in a way that gives me the most amount of pleasure for my short time here. And I feel sorry for those who cannot see a different point of view from their own, which is very dangerous, and causes humanity most of it's ills in one way or the other.

 So embrace your lifestyle and don't look down on others if they live differently than yourself.

Funny.  I'm not picking up that vibe from this thread at all.  In fact, I thought it was quite the opposite and that some people were admitting that they do long for what a lot of spendier people have.  And if we don't long for it, that's okay too. 

I'm not jealous of others and I don't want them to be jealous of me.

+1

MicroRN

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #61 on: May 09, 2014, 10:47:57 AM »
I don't tend to get jealous about stuff, but I do get jealous about experiences, mainly travel.  Some friends of mine took off for a 2 week trip to Europe, and I was drooling over the pictures.  Another couple recently went to Bora Bora.  More drooling.  Another friend is a serious world traveler.  She lives and works in various exotic locales, and travels to other ones constantly - right now it's Morocco.   

However, I know the first couple very well, and they take out loans/use credit cards for everything.  As much as I'd love a 2 week trip to Europe, I prefer our weekend trip to Canada, with everything paid for out of pocket.  And frankly, we could pay out of pocket for a europe trip too, but it would impact our budget in ways I don't want it to.  Plane tickets alone to Bora Bora would be $4K.  Again, we COULD do it, but we have other plans for that money.  While the world traveler does well financially, she has said that she's given up on having a family because it's too hard to meet guys and maintain a relationship with her job.  Those aren't trade-offs I'd be willing to make.       

I'm also a horseless horse person.  I own an unrideable retired horse who lives half a country away, and that sucks up all my discretionary money.  When friends post pictures of their weekend trail ride, or horsepacking trip, I do get a big twinge of jealousy.  I really miss being able to do that.  Again though, I COULD own another horse.  We could afford it.  It would have a big impact on what we're saving though, and assuring our future is more important to me than riding right now.  It's not like I really have time at the moment anyway, between 2 jobs, school, and 2 toddlers.   

Things like fancy clothes, cars, electronics, jewelry, and purses though - meh.  I've never gotten my hair done by a professional except for a couple weddings I was in.  I've always cut my own hair, and always cooked at home.  I live in yoga pants or jeans at home and scrubs at work.  I still wear some t-shirts that I got in high school. 

Carrie

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #62 on: May 09, 2014, 12:50:12 PM »
I am really enjoying this foray into mustachianism.  We've got a baby girl on the way (other kids are boys) and I have bought nothing for her (But I am making her a girly quilt).  I see people who go all out on baby accessories and nursery decor and I just wonder how they can do it -- how do they justify devoting a space & decorating a space for a small human who can't even appreciate it?  And then what do you do with all the monogrammed shit when it's outgrown? 
I have so many friends who are always getting their hair done (& colored), nails done, spa days, girls night out/girls weekends away etc., and while I'm sure I'd enjoy a bit of pampering, I cannot in good conscience spend $45 for someone to paint my toenails.  These gals post pictures on FB and gush about what a great time they had doing xyz, hanging out with the girls, being pampered; all I see are dollar signs.  I don't do girls night out (turned down a few invitations, now I never get invited), because 1. I'd rather be with my family at night 2. I'm not good at nurturing girl-y relationships, I think too much like a man - I've been told  3. I just cannot bring myself to spend lavishly on myself for temporary joy/pleasure, knowing that same money could be invested for early retirement and net worth goals.
Sometimes, even though I ridicule these people (just to my husband), I wonder if I wouldn't enjoy these activities... if I could just get past the spending money on it.  Now, I've dropped some good money on things that I value- I'm not a total cheapskate - I have a pro-quality sewing machine, we have pro-quality camera & lenses, we have really good kitchen stuff; but I've never in my life paid someone to paint my fingernails or color my hair.  (Note that the things we DO spend money on were simply because that's where are our interests lie -- not because anyone we know has these things.)
So, I don't know. I don't think I'm jealous, but I often wonder if we're the only ones who aren't making the big bucks, because why else would you go get bi-weekly manicures and monthly colors/cuts & massages, if you weren't killing it on the income?

horsepoor

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #63 on: May 09, 2014, 01:47:31 PM »
I am really enjoying this foray into mustachianism.  We've got a baby girl on the way (other kids are boys) and I have bought nothing for her (But I am making her a girly quilt).  I see people who go all out on baby accessories and nursery decor and I just wonder how they can do it -- how do they justify devoting a space & decorating a space for a small human who can't even appreciate it?  And then what do you do with all the monogrammed shit when it's outgrown? 
I have so many friends who are always getting their hair done (& colored), nails done, spa days, girls night out/girls weekends away etc., and while I'm sure I'd enjoy a bit of pampering, I cannot in good conscience spend $45 for someone to paint my toenails.  These gals post pictures on FB and gush about what a great time they had doing xyz, hanging out with the girls, being pampered; all I see are dollar signs.  I don't do girls night out (turned down a few invitations, now I never get invited), because 1. I'd rather be with my family at night 2. I'm not good at nurturing girl-y relationships, I think too much like a man - I've been told  3. I just cannot bring myself to spend lavishly on myself for temporary joy/pleasure, knowing that same money could be invested for early retirement and net worth goals.
Sometimes, even though I ridicule these people (just to my husband), I wonder if I wouldn't enjoy these activities... if I could just get past the spending money on it.  Now, I've dropped some good money on things that I value- I'm not a total cheapskate - I have a pro-quality sewing machine, we have pro-quality camera & lenses, we have really good kitchen stuff; but I've never in my life paid someone to paint my fingernails or color my hair.  (Note that the things we DO spend money on were simply because that's where are our interests lie -- not because anyone we know has these things.)
So, I don't know. I don't think I'm jealous, but I often wonder if we're the only ones who aren't making the big bucks, because why else would you go get bi-weekly manicures and monthly colors/cuts & massages, if you weren't killing it on the income?

Are we related?  All of this, minus the baby and plus the hair coloring.  I got a massage once with a Groupon, and it was nice, but I couldn't imagine paying full price for it, and felt like scheduling and then going to the appointment was a big hassle and waste of time.  I probably wouldn't bother with the hair color if I wasn't already getting it cut at the same time (into a short hairstyle that minimizes daily maintenance).

Carrie

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #64 on: May 09, 2014, 02:09:51 PM »
I have gotten one massage in my life (it was $80) and that was about 1 week before I gave birth to my last child.  I'm thinking about doing it again sometime before this little one gets here.  I just cannot justify that on any regular basis, although it was truly lovely and I felt totally pampered.

sleepyguy

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #65 on: May 09, 2014, 03:13:45 PM »
Not at all.  I don't think I've ever been, not of material crap.

I do envy/jealous of people with extremely skilled in things... like the way Federer plays tennis, or Rocket Ronnie plays snooker.

My GF cousins are surgeons and probably can/do buy anything they like.  Their income is probably over $600k/yr.  Not jealous of them one bit.

Mrs. Frugalwoods

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Re: Do we suffer from spending jealousy?
« Reply #66 on: May 09, 2014, 04:50:41 PM »
I am really enjoying this foray into mustachianism.  We've got a baby girl on the way (other kids are boys) and I have bought nothing for her (But I am making her a girly quilt).  I see people who go all out on baby accessories and nursery decor and I just wonder how they can do it -- how do they justify devoting a space & decorating a space for a small human who can't even appreciate it?  And then what do you do with all the monogrammed shit when it's outgrown? 
I have so many friends who are always getting their hair done (& colored), nails done, spa days, girls night out/girls weekends away etc., and while I'm sure I'd enjoy a bit of pampering, I cannot in good conscience spend $45 for someone to paint my toenails.  These gals post pictures on FB and gush about what a great time they had doing xyz, hanging out with the girls, being pampered; all I see are dollar signs.  I don't do girls night out (turned down a few invitations, now I never get invited), because 1. I'd rather be with my family at night 2. I'm not good at nurturing girl-y relationships, I think too much like a man - I've been told  3. I just cannot bring myself to spend lavishly on myself for temporary joy/pleasure, knowing that same money could be invested for early retirement and net worth goals.
Sometimes, even though I ridicule these people (just to my husband), I wonder if I wouldn't enjoy these activities... if I could just get past the spending money on it.  Now, I've dropped some good money on things that I value- I'm not a total cheapskate - I have a pro-quality sewing machine, we have pro-quality camera & lenses, we have really good kitchen stuff; but I've never in my life paid someone to paint my fingernails or color my hair.  (Note that the things we DO spend money on were simply because that's where are our interests lie -- not because anyone we know has these things.)
So, I don't know. I don't think I'm jealous, but I often wonder if we're the only ones who aren't making the big bucks, because why else would you go get bi-weekly manicures and monthly colors/cuts & massages, if you weren't killing it on the income?

Are we related?  All of this, minus the baby and plus the hair coloring.  I got a massage once with a Groupon, and it was nice, but I couldn't imagine paying full price for it, and felt like scheduling and then going to the appointment was a big hassle and waste of time.  I probably wouldn't bother with the hair color if I wasn't already getting it cut at the same time (into a short hairstyle that minimizes daily maintenance).

Ladies! I wish we lived near one another and could have a frugal-girls night because I could not agree more! My DH cuts my hair and I do all my "grooming" at home. Cannot understand the money I see my female co-workers & friends shelling out on hair, make-up, clothes, spa-stuff (facials?!?) and non-critical baby stuff. Love the "monogrammed" comment--was just lamenting with my frugal mom that we cannot understand monogrammed onesies. What is up with that?!

And in my observation, most of this is lifestyle inflation, not a need or incredible income.