Do I Offer to Pay OOP for Vehicle Damage (to Someone Else's Car)?

[chemistk]

The answer to the title is almost never 'yes', this is why we all carry insurance, but...

My family was camping at a state park in MI the other week and as we're enjoying our bonfire, someone comes over to our site with my kids and asks (politely) if they're ours. This is a state park where almost everyone bikes and kids are biking laps around the campground until dusk. This particular campground has been this way for decades. One of my kids pulled off to the side to allow a car to pass and accidentally scraped the person's new (to him) late-model semi-luxury sedan* which was parked poorly given the amount of kids on bikes.

The scrape was superficial (not down to the clear coat), about 3 inches long, on the front quarter panel. My son admitted he did it already and the guy was pleasant, calm, and agreeable and initially offered to 'take care of it now' since it's a brand new car. I don't carry wads of cash or my checkbook so I told him no, I'd offer for him to go through my insurance (he was leaving the next day and was clearly seeking restitution). I took my own pictures of the scrape and then sent him my insurance info. I carefully walked him through how to categorize the incident making it clear they wouldn't do anything if you mention the word 'bike'. We shook hands and that was that.

A few days later I get a call from my insurance noting that the claim has been filed but that they would deny it since he said it was an incident involving a bike and they don't cover bikes on our policy. So I thought that was that.

Yesterday, I get a text asking (not demanding) that we 'work something out'. He lives in Jersey and I in PA. Michigan is a state in which any small claims court suits must be made in person and not by lawyer alone. There was no police or DNR record of the incident and so legally it seems like there's really no obligation to pay him anything. But I'm not a complete jerk and my son definitely did scratch the car.

From what I can tell, a whole new front panel is about $1k painted. So a respray would be a few hundred. But this is also a scratch that any sane person would fix with some buffing, touchup paint, and clear coat. Probably $100 for materials and personal labor.

My questions are-

Do I offer to compensate him at all? If so, what seems reasonable? If no, do I just block his number and move on with life? The guy should have known better bringing a brand new semi-luxury car so a state park with myriad hazards (even my insurance thought it was ridiculous). For all I know he's gonna pocket the money...

*His car was a ~2020 Genesis G70, so almost luxury.

[herbgeek]

Hmmm....I'm reading what you wrote as lots of excuses to take your family off of the hook, instead of doing the right thing here.  Your kid damaged their car.    It doesn't matter how much the person spent on the car, or how it was parked (within reason).  It doesn't matter that he's in another state or might pocket the money.  Your kid is watching you, and making excuses to do nothing is what he's seeing.    I would offer in the range of $100-200 and have your kid work off some of that.  Actions have consequences.  And an apology would be good too.   Yes it was an accident and they happen but you should at least try to make them whole (again, within reason). 

[Dave1442397]

That sounds like something a detailer could take care of for less than $200. I would offer $200, take it or leave it.

[chemistk]

Hmmm....I'm reading what you wrote as lots of excuses to take your family off of the hook, instead of doing the right thing here.  Your kid damaged their car.    It doesn't matter how much the person spent on the car, or how it was parked (within reason).  It doesn't matter that he's in another state or might pocket the money.  Your kid is watching you, and making excuses to do nothing is what he's seeing.    I would offer in the range of $100-200 and have your kid work off some of that.  Actions have consequences.  And an apology would be good too.   Yes it was an accident and they happen but you should at least try to make them whole (again, within reason).

I should have included that my son is 5 and is entirely oblivious of the circumstances, despite my and my wife's best efforts to help him understand what happened.

[GilesMM]

You said the scratch was not even though the clearcoat, so definitely not into the paint. This can be buffed out and I have done so before on my own vehicles.


I am baffled that you would offer an insurance claim on this!  What were you thinking?


Ask him to take it to a detailer, get it buffed, and send you a bill.  Then remind him that any time he parks anywhere his car may get a scratch and over time he will just have to deal with them.

[ChickenStash]

I'm assuming the scratch wasn't "through" the clear coat since that is the upper-most layer. I'd just ask for him to get a quote to have a detailer or paint shop buff it out and go from there. I wouldn't go for more than an hours labor at a reasonable rate.

The guy sounds a bit obnoxious, though. A simple scratch in clear coat can likely be DIYed with just a bit of elbow grease and some compound - that's one of the big plusses of clear coat in the first place. I'm pretty anal about my cars but if it was something I could handle easily the most I might do is ask for an apology but probably not even that.

[ChpBstrd]

I did this to an El Camino when I was a kid in the 80's. My dad gave the guy $100 and that was that.

Probably today $500 would be a more likely estimate IF the scratch did not wrinkle the sheet metal. If you want to send the guy less - like $350, also mail him a tube of touch up paint matching his car and a paper towel for buffing. Send a check so there's a record of him cashing it. 

THIS is exactly why I never want to own a "nice" car. I want to have the FU mentality to walk away from life's little dings unperturbed. This poor bastard is all in a tizzy over the kind of thing I have the "luxury" of not fretting about.

[Sibley]

From my perspective, you fucked up at the start and are still fucking up. If your goal is to teach your kid that you can break other people's stuff without consequences, you're on a roll. Plus the attempted insurance fraud.

You should have paid the guy to start with. Cash, check, paypal, venmo, etc. If logistically you couldn't have made it work immediately you should have made arrangements to pay him as soon as possible. You knew that insurance was going to deny this, that's why you were trying to coach the guy into filing a false insurance claim.

So now, you're going to have to pay up. Ask the guy to take the car for a quote on fixing it and you'll pay for it. Then actually pay for it.

You might want to think about what lessons you want to teach your impressionable 5 year old, who even though he was clueless is still absorbing everything you say and do.

Edit: got usernames confused, corrected.

[chemistk]

I appreciate the parenting advice, but unfortunately this particular lesson is lost on this particular 5 year old. He's a sweet, well-intentioned, oblivious kid and while sorry, he would have no clue why I was offering to pay the person.

The state park has no cell service so there was no way for me to pay him on the spot or before he left short of giving him my credit card. Hence the offer to go through insurance.

I'm not doubting the circumstances nor where I stand in this matter, my family is inclined to have me block his number and forget he existed so I figured I'd get a different set of responses as it is.

[iluvzbeach]

From my perspective, you fucked up at the start and are still fucking up. If your goal is to teach your kid that you can break other people's stuff without consequences, you're on a roll. Plus the attempted insurance fraud.

You should have paid the guy to start with. Cash, check, paypal, venmo, etc. If logistically you couldn't have made it work immediately you should have made arrangements to pay him as soon as possible. You knew that insurance was going to deny this, that's why you were trying to coach the guy into filing a false insurance claim.

So now, you're going to have to pay up. Ask the guy to take the car for a quote on fixing it and you'll pay for it. Then actually pay for it.

You seem to have chosen your user name well. You might want to think about what lessons you want to teach your impressionable 5 year old, who even though he was clueless is still absorbing everything you say and do.

Sibley, I believe you've gotten chemistk (the OP) confused with ChpBstrd.

[Sibley]

Sibley, I believe you've gotten chemistk (the OP) confused with ChpBstrd.

You are absolutely correct, I did. Thank you for pointing it out. I have edited.