I separated my posts, as the first was more specific and less rant-y. This is not in response to anything in particular, but ties well with Caracarn's view that in today's society divorce has become too acceptable.
Especially recently, I think each generation seems to have less personal accountability, and a worse work ethic than the previous one. Caracarn seems to be coming at marriage from a biblical perspective, but even if you look at marriage as purely legal, it's too easy for people to give up. I'm all for ending a bad marriage, and will not shy away from offering that option, but I feel like it's the easy way out in a lot of cases.
I don't think the lack of personal accountability is just in marriages but in everything. We use the term accident so often to mean something that was unintended, but if an accident was preventable, was it really an accident? If you're texting and slam into my car, I'm not going to be thankful that you didn't "mean" to hit me.
I bring up this topic because I think a lot of problems WITHIN a marriage come down do personal accountability (and also work ethic). The ability to say "I fucked up" and own an action/mistake, seems to be almost devoid from our generation. The ease of which a marriage is dissolved, attests to that. I am not proposing that marriages should be harder to end, but that when people want to get married, they should truly understand that they are making an oath to another person. If people want a purely legal marriage, to be dissolved when it no longer suits them, why do people go through the ceremony, invite family and friends, etc? I suspect that at least when most marriages start, they are not purely legal, but when they get hard, instead of working hard, suddenly they become purely legal.
TLDR, when in a marriage, work hard, act like an adult and own your actions, personal accountability is good for literally every part of your life, but is especially helpful in marriage where two people's lives are tied together. When thinking about a divorce, make sure you tried to make your marriage work. Marriages are hard; you took a lifelong oath to another person, not exchange promise rings. Treat it as such.
Again... this is NOT directed at anybody in particular here in fact I'd like to believe people on this forum give greater thought to dissolving a marriage thank the average person. Also for the record, I don't advocate stay in or working on an abusive relationship.
There's a lot of good advice, for people who are going through/thinking about divorce. I don't feel like there's much to add except to pile on with anybody who says divorces are expensive. Yet one more reason why trying to make a marriage work can be a good thing.