My perspective: you have no idea what you're worth or what you want, and are entirely too reliant upon other peoples' opinions as an attempt to approximate that. Until you decide what you want and are willing to accept, you're going to be floundering. You will be whipped around by nonsensical emotions about your situation, because you have no real yardstick to measure your desires against.
Here are some facts:
- You got a job you were looking for against some odds and then performed well.
- Your manager went to bat for you and got you a promotion without your asking.
- With that, you got a raise you didn't ask for and weren't expecting.
- You are disappointed.
So let's perform a thought experiment. Take points two and three out. Let us instead say that you were reviewed as doing well. Let's even say excellent for your role, given that award, but they also say they expected you to do XYZ in order to promote you. While they're plenty happy with your performance, sadly nobody is getting raises this year.
So what's your reaction? I'd bet a non-trivial sum that you grumble about no raises, which
is actually disappointing, and go off and do XYZ to get your promotion because it seems close and you have clear instructions on how to get it. Maybe you're even happy or excited, because you weren't expecting to be considered for promotion so quickly.
What's the difference here? You're upset by reality, where you're making 5% more than the hypothetical scenario. You're probably happier in the hypothetical. Why? Because you have no idea what you're worth. So rather than do the hard work of determining for yourself, the market research, the interviews, and all that, you outsource it to others and then react based on their assessments. This leads you to your boss said you're worth more, friends saying that if you're worth more then you're worth much more, and you following that logic to disappointment.
I see four real options for you. First, you could whine impotently, and that includes asking your manager why you didn't get the raise you "expected" with the promotion, even though you never expected the promotion. Seems ungrateful. Sure, maybe you get another 1-2%, but at what cost? You'd be punishing your manager for his good deed by making him call in favors and do more work to get you a fraction more that you still won't be happy with. Or he'll shrug and do nothing. So why would you even consider that?
Second, you can accept the promotion and raise and look for an adjustment next year. Be grateful that it's more than you were really expecting. Ignore the notion that it
should be more than you got, because it's still more than you asked for. You can work hard for the next year proving you belong in the role.
Before review time for next cycle, you figure out what it is you're worth and what you want. You communicate this
before reviews are already settled on, stating you've proven you're worth this very specific number and you expect him to get you there this cycle. And you provide some evidence, e.g. salary comps for your area and job postings for similar positions. If you get what you want, great, perfect, be happy. If not, you must take the third option.
Third, you leave. Figure out what you want first, then go get it. You have a new title, new award, new experience, and hopefully some new glowing recommendations. It's incredibly common in the tech industry to have to leave to get what you're worth. A year or two at a place isn't a problem if you're actually good. It's super dumb because it's disruptive when people do leave, but I guess it saves enough in salary to be worth it. Lots of people seem to get attached to the culture, coworkers, perks, and more, so don't want to leave for what could be worse. Or because people just don't put in the effort to know what they're worth. Or don't want to deal with the hassle. (Last one is me, btw.)
Fourth, you accept what you have because you decide the whole package is in line with your worth. It sounds like everything about your position is great, excepting maybe compensation, though that's unclear. Because you're talking in percentages of salary and not compensation relative to what you're worth, I can't tell. You'll acknowledge that what you need to live happily and save plenty is in line with what you're receiving. You're grateful that your company isn't a pressure cooker. You'll make solid relationships with the good people you work with. You'll count your blessings that you can live in any place you want, LCOL or otherwise, while drawing your well above median household income check. You force down the greed in you that tells you that you always have to get more, more, more, and that you were somehow robbed and should be disappointed by getting something you didn't even ask for.