Hi everyone,
I've lurked for about a year here and learned so much. I'm hoping you can answer a dilemma my husband and I are having.
Here's the tl;dr version: money aside, is it better to have a short & easy commute, or live near family support?
Longer story: In 6-8 months, my family (husband, toddler, and I) will be moving. For 5 years, we've lived in a "bad" neighborhood but nice apartment that I bought before I met my H. He hates the neighborhood, esp. now that we have a kid. Our current work situation is that I walk to a job I love, and he commutes by subway, a crowded 40 minutes each way. Our kid is thriving in an in-home daycare in our building. We live in NYC. Living in this apt has been great for us because it's affordable and close to my work, but I can't convince H to stay much longer.
Option 1: Move to Manhattan and rent for the next 2 years while he's at his current job. He'll probably leave sometime in early 2017. I would become a SAHM for a while (we're trying for a second) or stay at my current job. Although I've grown used to not commuting and might not want to do it to keep my job. Pros: H could cut his commute in half and maybe even walk. We'd both enjoy a neighborhood that's pleasant to walk around. Con: It'd be just as hard to visit with our families as it is now, although they might want to visit more since we'd live a in a "nicer" place.
Option 2: Move to the suburban town where my sister lives, and buy or rent a house. Pros: have the extra support of my sister's family, whose kids are the same age as mine, and be closer to both sets of parents. H also really wants a yard. Cons: longer/worse commute for H, just under an hr door to door to Penn Station (ugh). I don't know anyone in this town except for my sister and would have to leave my job for sure and my friends in the city. Neither of us is sure we want to live in the NY suburbs long term.
Part of the dilemma is that we don't know where we want to be or what we want to do after H leaves his job. We should be FI by then, and I think I've sold him on taking a break from work. But where to take that break, and where to settle down? Being near family is a big priority for me, less so for him. Short commutes are a big deal for both of us. All of this is up in the air.
Thanks for any advice!