In some ways, I guess I'm glad I found out about this "issue" now instead of being blindsided later... just trying to decide what to do with the info and what my next steps should be.
I currently work for a small business (ie. no FMLA or other such protections in place) and have been in this job for approximately 1.5 years. When initially hired, I was up front with my employer that my husband & I would be wanting to add to our family in the next year or two. The business owner assured me that this a very family-friendly business and that he would be very flexible when it came time to negotiate maternity leave. There was nothing regarding maternity leave in the employee manual and my contract stated that after 4 weeks of absence I would be terminated, but the boss assured me that we'd incorporate leave into my second-year contract (and I understood not allowing maternity leave in my first year, so this wasn't a problem). Second year contract renewal also included nothing about maternity leave, but I again didn't push it because I knew I wouldn't need it this year anyway (had some medical issues, which have since been worked out). Recently, however, our employee manual was modified to state that anyone going out on unpaid medical leave (ie. maternity) is giving up their job and will only be rehired if it suits the needs of the company. When he made this change, I was told that it was "mainly intended for our support staff" and doesn't "REALLY" apply to me. So that made me a bit uncomfortable, but here we are.
A few weeks ago, I submitted a vacation request for a week in August. This is a trip that my dad is planning and paying for, which will involve a lot of extended family and therefore has to be planned far in advance - hence the early request. Boss told me that the request was approved.... but then, a few days later, we had a conversation that went sorta like this (while we were both sitting in the office, writing up medical records).
Boss: "Wifey and I (she co-owns the business) were talking about your vacation last night.... and it really SHOULDN'T be a problem, but there are a couple of things. Number one, we'll need you to cover Labor Day weekend if you're taking that week off."
Me: "No problem."
Boss: "Also.... obviously, you can only take that vacation if you AREN'T super-pregnant."
Me: [Internally: "WTF?!"] "Okay? What do you mean by super-pregnant? I mean, obviously I won't go running off to the beach if I'm due to deliver a baby in a matter of weeks...."
Boss: "Well, yeah. I know you probably wouldn't, but some try to take advantage. And you have to think of how it looks... if you take vacation and expect other people to cover for you, and then just a few weeks or months later you're going out on six weeks of maternity leave...."
Me: "Okay, I get that. So, up to what point WOULD you consider it reasonable to take a vacation? Because I understand where you're coming from, but I just need some sort of guidelines. I get that one month before maternity leave isn't okay.... how about 2 months? 3 months? Because I can tell you that I wouldn't travel at 36 weeks pregnant, but 2-3 months before my due date doesn't sound unreasonable to me."
Boss: "I can't give you guidelines, it's just common sense. If you go to the beach for a week, you can't expect us to be okay with you being gone another six weeks just because you had a kid. At some point, you just have to decide what's more important to you - a beach trip, or having a job to come back to at the end of six weeks."
OKAY. So, several issues here.
- Sounds like the whole "negotiable" leave thing is probably not negotiable at all, given his frequent, emphatic stating of six weeks. I can deal with that, but I'm not happy about it.
- While I realize that it is fully legal for him to not take me back after maternity leave, even if it is for something silly like taking a vacation during pregnancy, it just seems really really crappy and sketchy of him.
- Those sorts of comments scare me, even if I don't tale the vacation. What if I have a C-section and need 8 weeks? What if I have to go on bedrest?
Otherwise, my boss has been a relatively reasonable guy and I mostly enjoy working here. (There have been some other mild issues, like deducting a vacation day for a day that the clinic was closed, but nothing significant.) I'm just not sure what to do with this info.
- I really want to take this vacation, because it's a reunion for extended family - most of whom have not met my 2.5 year old daughter. Those family trips are always a ton of fun, my dad rented an amazing beachfront house, and I just really want to go. It won't cost us anything but gas (4 hour drive).
- I'm 36 years old and not getting any younger - if we want a second kiddo, we need to start trying soon. If we wait until August to try and we can't get pregnant, I'll always kick myself and wonder if that six months would have made a difference. (I had been waiting for some followup on a medical scare and just had tests come back clear, so that's what we've been waiting for.)
- The biggest concern: even I skip the beach trip, put off trying for kiddo #2, or we take a while to get pregnant, I'm STILL not sure that I'll have a job to come back to after maternity leave based on my boss's comments.... so if I'm going to end up job-hunting anyway, why not live a little?
Changing jobs at this point wouldn't give much benefit because, as I said, it's not uncommon for employers in my profession to not be very accommodating of pregnancy. Most employers wouldn't make the sort of comments that my boss made, but there's always the chance that I could change jobs and end up somewhere even worse.... or that my boss just misspoke on a bad day and will be more flexible than I'm expecting.
I don't know. My thoughts are jumbled because I'm annoyed and frustrated, so I'm hoping for a little bit of rational advice and perspective from the MMM community. My husband and my normally-very-financially-conservative-dad are both in the "sounds like you might get canned after a kiddo anyway, so just live your life and see what happens" camp, and I'm having a hard time finding a good reason to disagree with them. Help, please :)