My DH is RE and thus, we don't use this FSA for exactly the reason you reference -- we use paid child care, but we don't need it to be able to work. As others have said, spousal job loss is something that counts as a life changing event and should make it possible to change your contribution outside of the open-enrollment window, just contact your HR office. This shouldn't be a big deal (and sure, it's always a bummer to lose tax savings, but so it goes).