The Money Mustache Community
Learning, Sharing, and Teaching => Ask a Mustachian => Topic started by: Kansaslover5 on August 28, 2017, 08:19:54 AM
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Personal questions are the gateway to new friendships. They are trying to find common ground with you. What kind of questions are you getting that it makes you so uncomfortable?
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Posting to follow. I'm sure this will be an issue for me sooner rather than later, but right now it's not too difficult since no one expects me to do anything special in my 20s (other than spend my money on stupid stuff). The only thing I can think of is to try to be as light-hearted as possible, maybe make a joke at your own expense and change the subject? Try as hard as you can to force the conversation back to them, ask THEM the personal questions, even if you aren't particularly interested in their life. Be quick about it. When someone asks if you have kids for example, say "Nope! What about you, do you have kids?" Then immediately ask a follow-up question about their kids before they even get the chance to think about you again. Maybe even as they're describing their kids and before they even finish talking say things like, "Oh cool!" or "Awesome!" (Just an example, no idea if you have kids or not) People love talking about themselves, I would just try to turn it back around as much as possible.
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There was a thread on small talk- maybe try reading that one for some tips?
Questions are a way to get to know someone. Your coworkers are showing interest in you because they feel that office life is better when there is a connection with the other people in the office. If you really have nothing to say, why not turn the tables and get them talking about themselves instead?
Or come up with some topics about yourself that you do enjoy talking about? If they are really cookie cutter questions- be generic in the answer. "Kids are doing fine. School is so busy, tons of homework. Man I wish I could get some more sleep!" "Spent most of the weekend out in the garden. Sure was nice to have cool weather, not really looking forward to the winter though." "I'm real into home improvement, so that's taking up most of the weekend. Just got a new scroll saw. Pretty excited about the detail work it can do." "Nope- didn't see the game of thrones finale. Can't even remember the last time I watched TV. They tell me it's in color now. hahaha." They are just trying to find a connection with you.
I'm surprised you say the Midwest is totally uninterested in your frugal weirdo ways. Even the most spendypants in my office have some weird habits like canning, baking, game nights at home that I have in common with them.
(Oh hey- I see you're in Iowa too. Waves hello. But sorry, you probably wouldn't want to work with me. Chatting with coworkers is the highlight of my day...)