illy5603,
That's really a lot to stomach and it looks like you did an incredible job with it all. How are things going 6-7 weeks later?
Well, things are going ok... I negotiated a 4 day work week with my employer which is allowing me to keep a closer eye on the situation.
The one thing that is frustrating is just how stubborn the elderly can be, and how little we, as caregivers, can do about it. My grandmother can hardly hear and has a hard time "understanding" anything. For instance, if I get cash out of her account and give it to her, my cousin will have it pilfered in a matter of days. To combat this I just suggested that she only use her credit card, which she has to sign, for all transactions. My grandmother just gets mad and says "But I need money for emergencies." to which I reply "Just use the credit card, or call me." and she just doesn't get it. She has me go get the cash and when I come back 4 days later, it is gone and she has no idea where it went. She just won't adapt.
Another area that is frustrating is that her phone number has fallen into the hands of several scam artists and she keeps buying (or not, sometimes they just send her bills for nothing) these light bulbs and plastic bags over the phone that cost $80 a pop. She thinks it is going to "the crippled children" when it is simply a scam. I cannot convince her to stop doing it and I cannot convince her to change her phone number.
But the big problem is that no matter what is wrong with someone, if they don't want help, there is nothing you can do. I found out about 3 weeks ago that she has this HUGE diabetic ulcer (google it, but not while eating) on her leg and she refused to let anyone take her to the hospital. It took a paramedic team, myself and half of her neighbors to cajole her into letting me take her out to the ER to get it looked at. She is now letting me take her out every week to a wound treatment facility on the Air Force Base where she goes and it is getting much better but it just takes so much work to get her to take care of her own body.
So yeah, it is frustrating, I am trying to take care of someone I love dearly who unknowingly makes it extremely difficult on me to do so. It has got me to thinking long and hard about my own long term care. I had to watch my mom drink herself to death (there was nothing I could do there either, legally... she didn't want help, we found her dead in the living room one day) and now I am fighting my grandmother too. I am going to do what I can to make sure my son is not put in this situation on my behalf.