Things you don't think about 'til you're an experienced parent:
- Bells and whistles aren't important to the child, but cool toys are! I'd pay especial attention to the playground. I'm mid-40s and can still describe to you the playground equipment at my elementary school; my girls can tell you exactly what playground equipment they had at day care and at each of the two elementary schools they attended. However, this won't start to matter 'til a little after two years old. An at-home provider is unlikely to provide a great playground.
- Babies don't socialize. They aren't ready for it yet. At most, you might see side-by-side play until around age two. At that point, yes, socialization is a positive.
- Don't worry too much about books in a group. Babies can't really appreciate books until they're maybe 5 months old, and then it only "works" one-on-one. Trust me: I've raised two who'd rather read than eat when they're hungry. It starts with cuddle time, feeling secure, and just looking at colors and pictures -- then it turns into pointing to the color blue or the duck -- then it turns into you reading sometimes and the child "reading" to you. This isn't something that "works" in a group. You could pull it off with two babies at a time.
- What type of crafts, parties, and organized events will the day care kids share? I remember how our great at-home provider used to whip our kids into a frenzy over something like Arbor Day. They'd plan together for a week, talking about trees, baking cupcakes . . . and in the end, the party was something quite modest, but they LOVED IT.
- What type of food does the day care serve? Is it healthy stuff, or processed junk? Where do the kids eat?
- Regardless of what type of care you're using, ask about how they put the babies down to sleep. Do they rock them to sleep, do they use a cry-it-out method, or something in between? I'm not telling you what you should do, but be sure your provider's methods meet your own.
- If you're depending upon one person, yes, it is a problem when that person gets sick. We used a GREAT at-home day care for a while, but in the last year we used her, I missed a ton of days because of our day care provider's sicknesses! From a logistical point of view, it was a bad year.
- What about when your child is sick? Will your nanny still care for her? Will she take her to the doctor for well check-ups? For sick visits? Will she give medicines? These are all questions to ask. Day care will do none of these things; typically you're not allowed to bring the baby back to day care until he or she has been fever-free for 24 hours.
- Are you expected to pay day care when you're on vacation? When you're off for a week at Christmas? Some day cares give you "two weeks vacation" when you don't have to pay -- others expect you to pay 52 weeks a year, even if the child is with you at DisneyWorld.
- What's the day care's policy on late pick ups? At some point you're going to be late. I'm remembering the time my car broke down.
- An at-home provider is able to provide a more quiet, calm experience for your child; but that person can also spend her days sitting her butt watching TV while the baby kind of does his or her own thing. You expect that a one-on-one experience would include lots of books, singing, and block building -- but your nanny may or may not do these things. In day care, where more people are watching, you're more likey to get those enriching activities -- but you're also going to lose the one-on-one concept.
- In day care you're going to have one or more providers whom you just won't like. I'm remembering one day when I went in to pick up my youngest, and one of the providers stepped out for some reason. A little girl walked up to the other provider . . . and projectile vomitted all over her. Kids do that stuff. The provider said some bad words and walked out, leaving me -- a mom -- with a room full of kids! I understand she was disgusted at being covered in vomit, but the kids have to come first. I spoke to the office people about this situation on the way out the door, and I never saw her again. I mean, leaving the kids -- that's kind of rule #1. The point: If you work with a number of providers, you're going to like some and dislike others.
- Day care will make potty training easier. When the child is two, they'll start all the kids "training" at the same time, and the other kids' success will be motivating for yours. They also have those little bitty toilets that kids love.
- Finally, I'll echo what someone else said: The decision you make today isn't forever. What's right for a newborn may no longer be right when that newborn becomes a busy two-year old. You'll find that your options will expand (and become cheaper) when the child is three. Kids tend to "move up" to the next age group in day care when school starts. It makes sense: The oldest kids move off to kindergarten, and the others all "move up" together. Thus, it's easiest to "get a spot" in late summer /early fall.