DH and I don't have kids, so we have no idea how that will play out. Her kids are well behaved young teens, but I know that can change quickly. Hadn't thought about drugs being brought into the house. And I hadn't considered my sister in a relationship because she is so focused on the kids and can't see it in her future. But that could change quickly as well. And we really don't want to end up in a huge house by ourselves or renting to strangers (though the basement of the house we're looking at would be an amazing airbnb apartment, if HOA allows).
We were planning to buy together. We would put 50% down and she would pay the mortgage but that brings complications as well. We would need to reimburse her for our share of taxes/insurance, doing taxes gets more complicated, and probably lots of other things we haven't considered.
With these added details, I'm in the 100% absolute no camp.
People fall in love unexpectedly all the time, especially when they aren't looking to. There are so many divorced people our there now that her options are nearly unlimited, and focusing on kids often means interacting with a lot of other parents...including single dads.
I've known TONS of newly divorced people who swore up and down that they planned on being single for years, who ended up remarried within just a few years of divorcing.
It happens all the time.
And yes, having a teenager living with you absolutely means being prepared for things like drugs, friends who are drug dealers, drinking, possible drinking and driving, smoking, and sex.
Not to mention mood swings, disrespect, weird sleeping patterns, a seemingly aggressive level of disregard for shared spaces, some terrifyingly dirty bedrooms, eye rolling, door slamming, personal hygiene problems, etc, etc.
Teens are a wild ride, and few people are prepared for it because they think they know the kids beforehand.
I find it funny every single time I see it.
FTR, I'm the friend that people send their teens to when they need a break and are close to killing them, so I've heard every kind of horror story there is.
Sometimes it's just something unbearably irrational and stupid, like the friend who couldn't figure out where all of the glasses were only to find that her 14 year old was shoving mostly empty glasses of milk under the basement sofa while he played video games. The mould ended up so bad they had to throw out the sofa.
He was one of those really good kids too. Lol. Still, his mom was on the phone with me shrieking "I JUST FUCKING CAN'T WITH HIM!!!"
Never underestimate teenagers. Never.
Theirs is guerilla warfare, and they'll strike you exactly where you don't expect it, hahaha.
Personally, I love teens. Their raw emotional drama and ridiculousness entertains me to no end. I would never live with one (or two!!) AND their parent(s) though. Too complicated. All landmines all the time.