Groceries ~$1050
I agree that this is crazy high ... maybe one day when you have four teenagers it'll be reasonable, but not with small kids.
My best suggestion: Find a copy of The Frugal Gazette, a book that was popular about 15-20 years ago but not has sort of disappeared from the world's radar. You'll find the prices she mentions rather outdated, but take a look at her Grocery Store Price Book. It's one of the first articles in the book. She proposes an excellent method of monitoring grocery store prices at a variety of stores. It'll take effort to create such a book for the products you personally use /the stores available to you, but it'll be worthwhile in the end. Once you have that data, you'll be able to go to Aldi's every couple weeks and confidently pick up a large quantity of the items your family likes, knowing you've paid the best price for them.
A grocery price book could be an excellent ongoing homeschool project. On that same note, I understand why you're using grocery store pick-up now with small kids; however, this is a cost that should drop off your radar as the kids are older and aren't so much effort to transport /monitor in the store.
Also look into something other than the tip-top-besty-best food items. Remember, these are temporary purchases, and there's often no real difference between average and best; for example, frozen salmon is typically cheaper than fresh. Hot cereal is typically cheaper than cold cereal. Look at each item you buy on a regular basis and look for ways to cut back.
Childcare $500 (Dad works long hours and travels often, Wife has a sitter for 8 hrs/week @ $14/hr)
I understand your need to have some time to yourself; however, that's a big number. Do you have any options for trading "an afternoon off" with another mother? How about half-day of summer camp for the kids instead? I see that you're also spending $200/month on kids' camps, etc. I wonder if you couldn't get the same benefit for less money.
How old are the kids? I ask because I'm getting mixed messages here: They're old enough to participate in camps ... yet not old enough to be easily manageable in the grocery store.
MOM
Salon services/products $80
Clothes $80
DAD
Salon services/Products $30
Shoe Polish/Dry Cleaning $25
Clothes $125 (top executive of a large company and spends $1200 at the Nordstrom sale once/year)
This is crazy high, even for a person who needs to be highly-presentable, especially since you say your own clothes aren't lasting. You mentioned that your husband's suits are "outdated" quickly and your things "wear out". I suspect your standards here are considerably higher than most people's -- unnecessarily high, even for a top exec. A man's suit, for example, should be perfectly acceptable for at least five years, even with use -- I'm not buying the outdated suits thing at all.
I buy all of my husband's shirts from LL Bean. Thing is, they'll replace items that wear out; just save your receipts. Their collars tend to wear around the edges, even though the rest of the shirt is still in perfect condition.
Gifts/Hosting - I could reign this in. I have 10 nieces and nephews and I always send birthday presents - they aren't expensive.... my latest thing is sending them a box of cereal with postage right on the box - and $10 cash inside. But the cereal, the cash and the mailing adds up to closer to $20. But it's so fun! I also am a sucker for paying for my friends if we go out for coffee or something, also like to send people good books I read - I always wish I could just check a book out from the library and give it to them - ha! And I would do that except it seems that most of the time it's to family out of state so I go to Amazon.
Okay, this is easy to cut back. If you want to gift all the nieces and nephews on their birthday (and I do), consider sending handmade cards with $10 inside. A card is cheaper to send, and what you're describing now is a very expensive way to send a small amount of junk food.
I'll echo what another poster said: Adults can pay for their own coffee and books.
A tangent: Why are you paying for coffee outside the house? That's a good example of a low-cost product that's outrageously expensive when you pay someone else to make it; it's also a temporary pleasure -- a poor value for the dollar.
I know salon is high but it does include all hair appointments (I go twice/year), waxing and any product I buy related to my image ha ha....shampoo/conditioner, make-up etc. I can do better here but the average of $80/mo covers a lot.
I can maybe see the services, but there's no need to buy shampoo/conditioner from the salon. At the very least, buy a moderately priced brand from Target or Walmart. Or look into using CVS's rewards program; you can get loads of stuff -- toothpaste, asprin, etc. for free.
What I will say is that I think you have gotten used to a certain kind of life where you just take it for granted that you eat certain foods (hint: the meats and dairy are the most expensive thing at WF!) and look a certain way and go to a salon and get various services done at a certain frequency, etc. And that can blind you to how little of that is actually required.
Best comment on this thread! Keep in mind, too, that your children are watching. They're growing up thinking that it's necessary to spend big money on your appearance, that only the best foods will do, etc. While you're able to afford it, it's highly unlikely that they'll step out of college ready to support this lifestyle ... and that can set them up for debt. It's also unlikely that all four of them will achieve this same high income as adults ... again, setting them up for disappointment and/or debt.
