Critical job decision

[Freda]

My options are:

1.  Stay where I am.  Which is a sinking ship, IMO.  But I could stretch it out a couple of years. I am the regional boss there so I have a lot of flexibility. I make 17.50 an hour and drive 35 miles each way. I am on call 24/7.

2.  Take an investigator job which keeps me in the same field. Hours may be flexible. Pay would be 18/hr.  Commute would be the same, maybe more. No on call.

3.  Take a temporary demotion and move to a different company that does much what I do now. They are very well established. I would enter as an assistant manager to train under their way of doing things, then be promoted to manager and have my own territory. Pay uncertain. Fixed schedule of four ten hour days, reducing travel costs. Commute of 15 miles each way.  Rotating on call.

4.  Take a part time, flexible research position at a local university.  Pay uncertain. Commute of 11 miles each way.   No on call.

5.  Be a housewife.

Relevant factors:  married to a great earner. On track to be debt free in 3 more years. Currently driving a paid off Dodge Magnum, planning on buying a used Prius for cash in the fall. I am mentally ill (anxiety and depression) and need the structure of some employment but also some flexibility.   We have no minor children.   

Also I (ready for my face punch) mainly piss away my checks.  Losing my income wouldn't hurt us, except for him to give me an allowance would slow down our debt free schedule. (Yes, this is something I need to work on.)

Finally, we own one rental home free and clear we are selling this year.  We want to untangle ourselves from this area in preparation to move in 2-3 years. 

Thoughts?

[Tyler]

Well, from your description #1 sounds like the least desirable and #5 may not be the best choice for you right now.  IMHO, look at the other three and go with what will make you happiest!

[Dianas Report]

Relevant factors:  married to a great earner. On track to be debt free in 3 more years. I am mentally ill (anxiety and depression) and need the structure of some employment but also some flexibility.  Also I (ready for my face punch) mainly piss away my checks.  Losing my income wouldn't hurt us, except for him to give me an allowance would slow down our debt free schedule.

Freda, your on the right track of identifying that you need change and your not pleased where you are. Pick the job that you like the best (maybe #3 or #4) housewife can wait since you still have debt and if you choose a job you enjoy, it's like a hobby and not really working afterall.

I find great pleasure in saving and investing, watching my money grow and work for me! I hardly spend any of it since I'm so determined to make MORE of it =) I purposely try to avoid the mall, consider it a plague. Last time I went to Target and saw a shirt for $8.99, it was exactly my type of pretty, lacey, flower print shirt that I've been looking for over a year. I calculated in my head, how many shares of cerp or xin stock I could own instead of buying this shirt. So needless to say, I chose not to buy it and thought it would be a better idea to spend my time doing something else more productive. Freda, it all starts with your thoughts, try guiding them the direction you want them to go <3

In your situation I would highly suggest eating more healthy veggies/fruit, since junk food alters your brain/body and become depressed, sick and fat. Next, meditate, try to take deep breathes and clear your mind, most importantly RELAX!!!

Spending $$ brings temporary happiness, a initial trill that fades quickly and then that "high" is over and needed to be replaced by a better & newer "high". Do things that involve not spending money at all. The most enjoyable things I love to do are free!! Like read a good book on a pretty picnic table, under a magnificent tree, watching the sun's ray's peak through and listening to the birds chirp. Also I love hiking or relaxing at the beach. Find and do things that bring you joy ASAP! Then post again and let me know how your feeling and your new job prospect.

Hope that helps <3

[Freda]

I should find out the pay ranges (ballpark) for 3 and 4 today.

I really appreciate your input. This decision has been drivin me bonkers.

[Vilx-]

My 2c: take the job that you will enjoy most and have the least stress with. The commute and pay seem to be borderline irrelevant, but your own mental (and physical) health is the most important thing, so focus on getting that fixed first. Like MMM, I suggest reading Raptitude. I came here from there actually. :) It's a nice blog with good, insightful posts. And (important to me) - no spiritual mumbo-jumbo. Only clear, simple, practical type of stuff.

[capital]

A short commute, to me, is an essential step toward a better life, unless your commute happens to be along traffic-free roads on the California coast or cresting the Rocky Mountains, and even then I think I'd choose a short commute. Especially if the money is not a big issue, avoid big psychic drags like long commutes, being on-call and riding down a sinking ship-- all of those things would leave me facing constant low-level stress. If it's a good step toward where you want to go in your career, the research position sounds like the best fit and most fun with the fewest stressors.

[Freda]

Okay, now that I'm at a proper computer and not replying on my overpriced iphone....  I'll try to address everything! 

Also a factor is the route of the commute.  The university position has the shortest commute but it's a very indirect route with a lot of stops, etc., and not the best maintained in the Michigan winter.  A quick highway route is often the better choice due to time versus miles.  I love NPR so that helps a lot!

I am in therapy and take meds - starting something new that should hopefully help a lot.  (My personal life has been through a lot of upheaval this year.)  Spending is a pretty typical issue for people with bipolar, and communicating with my husband about money is a very difficult thing for me.  It's a project for this year.

I think any of the options - other than where I'm at now and being a housewife - would make me feel valued and like I'm contributing.  I'm smart and a hard worker and upbeat and usually very successful in environments where expectations are clear.  One of the hard things about leaving where I'm at is that I know I'm needed by the people under me and they will be hurting when I'm gone, but the upper management's style just isn't a good match for me. 

I am gluten free and on a strict sleep/wake schedule, but making additional adjustments like getting back off soda and increasing my exercise.  Hubby and I are training for a warrior dash type obstacle course run this summer.  I also play ukulele for fun and sing in a women's barbershop chorus.

I had the second interview for position 3 today.  It looks like they're starting around $14/hr.  When you factor in my gas costs, I would only see a net loss of $80/week.  Which I think is worth it when you look at it as more of a lifestyle change decision than a "career" decision.  Also, that pay rate is just the initial rate/initial position that I would have for a while as I learn their way of doing things and company culture.  Then I'd be promoted and get a raise.  The personality match with the manager seemed good and I am really interested in the structure of the program they are running. I kind of think I want it!!  :D

We leave on vacation tomorrow for ten days....  Paris, Dublin, and Kentucky!  So they will have an offer in hand when I get back and I should have a decision.  I need to check in with position 2 and see if they want to get in the game or not. 

Unlike a lot of people, aiming for "peaceful" isn't necessarily a healthy goal for me.  That peace often translates into lack of stimulus, which leads to depression.  I tend to run high, and am happiest and most productive when I'm doing four things at once.  It's like being completely run by inertia.  If I'm doing a lot, I can do a lot!  If I'm doing little, I am capable of doing very, very little.

Will follow up on those reading  recommendations.