Author Topic: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE  (Read 7526 times)

Lunasol

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My coworker and I started working on the same day for the same department exactly 3 years ago, We’re 8 people working for a manager in teams of 2-3 people with different users.
So about a year and half ago he started interviewing outside the company and got an offer, however our company counteroffered at the request of one of his users (who had connections with higher management) and he stayed. He got a new position called Jr. coodinator and a raise while I stayed an Analyst.

So a few months ago I start interviewing at other places and this one company called Y caught my eye, they had told me the second interview would be a technical interview. I thought I did okay. Manager let me know there were already three ladies in the department and she wouldn't want to have any issues with so many hormones around(she was joking), and the person who had left was a guy. They never called so I assumed they had chosen someone else, and probably a guy. (Note: the manager was a lady, but I had a second interview with a guy who seems to be her right hand, he didn't seem very impressed with me)

A couple of weeks ago, one of the guys in my 3 people area leaves so I am offered Sr. Coordinator with exactly the same pay as Jr coordinator coworker. I thought alright at last we'll match in positions/salary.

I was over that other Y company until this saturday when I met up with a friend who happened to work for the department I was interviewing for, and she kindly let me know they had been extremely busy with work that they had stopped the interviewing process. Ironic but maybe not. Apparently she knew I was interviewing because her boss let out that they had interviewed a very dynamic lady who had gone to X university and had studied X language abroad, this clicked with my friend and she asked "Is her name Lunasol?" The manager was like yeah that's her! I was glad at least the first impression she got from me was "dynamic".

Fast forward to Monday (today) and my Jr coordinator coworker lets me know he had a technical interview at Y Company.

Are you kidding me??? Are we gonna be competing our whole lives? I freak out because:

1. I thought the hiring process was on hold
2. He had a technical interview which is like the second step in the hiring process
3. He has always been a step ahead of me in terms of job position and money making, I was fine with it the first time but getting ahead of me two times in a row?
4. I added a 4th just because

Any advice? Please be honest with me but avoid being mean, too much sarcasm all over the internet already and the last thing I need is a reply that will make me break down -_-

I'll let you guys know whatever happens.



mozar

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #1 on: August 15, 2016, 12:40:17 PM »
I think that the heart of the matter is that this guy knows how to be strategic and you should copy his moves. Like get in good with users, get connected to mgmt, get an offer and play the companies off of eachother. It sounds like your co-worker is going to repeat the process. He is being savvy.

Also company y sounds sexist. Dynamic is often code for "a woman who has opinions and agency in her life and thus should be punished. " There are other jobs out there.

G-dog

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #2 on: August 15, 2016, 12:50:48 PM »
You are in the same professional technical area and same geographic area - so yeah, you are always going to be in the same candidate pool, and sometimes actively looking at the same time.

This guy may be a good reference for you, or help you network to other jobs. Think of this as a collaboration instead of a competition.

Also, think about marketing, what skills do you have that he does not (hard skills and soft skills)? What skills does he have that you don't have? Can you learn those skills? What skills is the market looking for? If you don't have those skills, start working on them. What skills will be needed in 2, 5, 10 years in your field? If you don't have them, get them.


With This Herring

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #3 on: August 15, 2016, 02:32:14 PM »
Can you call interviewer at Company Y and say "I would like to update the resume I have on file with you, as current employer just promoted me to Sr. Coordinator"?  This shows you are still interested and points out that you are at a higher level than coworker.  I don't see where coworker ever got promoted from Jr. to Sr.

I am not super-experienced in this sort of thing, though, so ignore my advice if someone more knowledgeable gainsays it.  Good luck!

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #4 on: August 16, 2016, 09:14:36 AM »
Mozar: I didn't think dynamic was a bad word, as I also thought the interviewing manager seemed "dynamic". I'll keep thinking how to be savvy myself too. Thank you!

G-dog: You're absolutely right. Same geographical location and same skills would obviously make coworker and I competitors. It's funny we've both been looking for work at the same time though.

With This Herring: coworker wasn't promoted from Jr to Sr but we're still in the same salary range, and he's been a coordinator for a longer time than I have been Sr coordinator, as my position isn't official yet because HR is working on the documentation


Thank you all. A day later, I've come to terms with this situation and I'm in a much better state of mind than I was yesterday.

It helped to listen to a song I really like on the radio on my way home for lunch. And a hug from my SO when I got there.

Since I'm also interested to keep this thread as a reminder of my work/job progress, I'll try to keep it updated.

G-dog

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #5 on: August 16, 2016, 09:21:01 AM »
Some folks have a strategy of always looking. If he is doing that, then what looks like a strange set of coincidences is really quite different. Also, rumor is that people change jobs more frequently now than they did in the past.  Two to three years is probably a pretty common cycle time.

If this guy is going places, hitch a ride on his coat tails if you can!  Good luck!


Kaikou

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #6 on: August 16, 2016, 01:02:31 PM »
My coworker and I started working on the same day for the same department exactly 3 years ago, We’re 8 people working for a manager in teams of 2-3 people with different users.
So about a year and half ago he started interviewing outside the company and got an offer, however our company counteroffered at the request of one of his users (who had connections with higher management) and he stayed. He got a new position called Jr. coodinator and a raise while I stayed an Analyst.

So a few months ago I start interviewing at other places and this one company called Y caught my eye, they had told me the second interview would be a technical interview. I thought I did okay. Manager let me know there were already three ladies in the department and she wouldn't want to have any issues with so many hormones around(she was joking), and the person who had left was a guy. They never called so I assumed they had chosen someone else, and probably a guy. (Note: the manager was a lady, but I had a second interview with a guy who seems to be her right hand, he didn't seem very impressed with me)

A couple of weeks ago, one of the guys in my 3 people area leaves so I am offered Sr. Coordinator with exactly the same pay as Jr coordinator coworker. I thought alright at last we'll match in positions/salary.

I was over that other Y company until this saturday when I met up with a friend who happened to work for the department I was interviewing for, and she kindly let me know they had been extremely busy with work that they had stopped the interviewing process. Ironic but maybe not. Apparently she knew I was interviewing because her boss let out that they had interviewed a very dynamic lady who had gone to X university and had studied X language abroad, this clicked with my friend and she asked "Is her name Lunasol?" The manager was like yeah that's her! I was glad at least the first impression she got from me was "dynamic".

Fast forward to Monday (today) and my Jr coordinator coworker lets me know he had a technical interview at Y Company.

Are you kidding me??? Are we gonna be competing our whole lives? I freak out because:

1. I thought the hiring process was on hold
2. He had a technical interview which is like the second step in the hiring process
3. He has always been a step ahead of me in terms of job position and money making, I was fine with it the first time but getting ahead of me two times in a row?
4. I added a 4th just because

Any advice? Please be honest with me but avoid being mean, too much sarcasm all over the internet already and the last thing I need is a reply that will make me break down -_-

I'll let you guys know whatever happens.

The number 4 rules!

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #7 on: August 18, 2016, 03:13:00 PM »
^ haha the 4th was for the sake of drama

g-dog thanks for your advice! I should be trying to make contacts instead of focusing on competing, as this guy could perhaps help me land a new job later on...

No update-update:
1. As of today, I still haven't heard from Y Company
2. I had to take a psychometric test requested by my current employer, in order to keep going with the promotion process

That's it ^_^


 

G-dog

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #8 on: August 18, 2016, 03:47:42 PM »
Yes - I kind of failed networking. Others I saw moving up and around more freely were usually better at networking than I. Damn introversion and work ethic. Consider networking part of your job, building good relationships with coworkers and others.

mm1970

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #9 on: August 18, 2016, 03:52:25 PM »
You are in the same professional technical area and same geographic area - so yeah, you are always going to be in the same candidate pool, and sometimes actively looking at the same time.

This guy may be a good reference for you, or help you network to other jobs. Think of this as a collaboration instead of a competition.

Also, think about marketing, what skills do you have that he does not (hard skills and soft skills)? What skills does he have that you don't have? Can you learn those skills? What skills is the market looking for? If you don't have those skills, start working on them. What skills will be needed in 2, 5, 10 years in your field? If you don't have them, get them.

Pretty much this.  I live in a smaller city and there aren't a lot of jobs in my area...so as the years have gone on, many of my coworkers and I have branched out to have expertise in "other areas".  We still compete for jobs, but everyone has a "niche".  (We are all mid-30s to mid-50s now).

gooki

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #10 on: August 19, 2016, 02:36:59 AM »
At least you didn't walk out of the interview room at company Y to see your coworker sitting in the waiting room. Awarkward!!! Didn't happen to me personally, but one of the many odd stories from a great co-worker.

PS I'm one of those always interview people. I ask for high salaries, so if a company bites I get a great raise, if they pass on me I've made someone else's salary expectations sound reasonable, and hopefully upped the market rate a bit. Win win in my books.
« Last Edit: August 19, 2016, 02:39:46 AM by gooki »

SwordGuy

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #11 on: August 19, 2016, 05:26:00 AM »
A friend told me this story.  It's vaguely related to your topic, but very funny in a karmic justice sort of way, so I'll share it anyway.

He meets a friend of his for lunch.  He and his friend are both managers, just at different consulting companies in the same industry.  His buddy says, "Oh, by the way, Joe Smith is really working out.  I'm glad we hired him."

"Joe Smith?  Who works for me?"

"Yeah."

"But he's out on bereavement leave!"

Yep, Joe took bereavement leave so he could test the waters at the other company and get paid by his old company at the same time!

He got fired from both jobs directly after lunch.


Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #12 on: August 19, 2016, 08:25:31 AM »
At least you didn't walk out of the interview room at company Y to see your coworker sitting in the waiting room. Awarkward!!! Didn't happen to me personally, but one of the many odd stories from a great co-worker.

PS I'm one of those always interview people. I ask for high salaries, so if a company bites I get a great raise, if they pass on me I've made someone else's salary expectations sound reasonable, and hopefully upped the market rate a bit. Win win in my books.
I should start doing it, try to get interviews at least every couple months, just one question, how do you manage getting a new job and not making it seem like you've been jumping from job to job on your resume? I've always thought it shows work ethic (or something), to have a consistent resume proving you've been loyal I guess, maybe I've been too worried about this and missed out on opportunities in the past.

A friend told me this story.  It's vaguely related to your topic, but very funny in a karmic justice sort of way, so I'll share it anyway.

He meets a friend of his for lunch.  He and his friend are both managers, just at different consulting companies in the same industry.  His buddy says, "Oh, by the way, Joe Smith is really working out.  I'm glad we hired him."

"Joe Smith?  Who works for me?"

"Yeah."

"But he's out on bereavement leave!"

Yep, Joe took bereavement leave so he could test the waters at the other company and get paid by his old company at the same time!

He got fired from both jobs directly after lunch.

lol, that person's got some guts! nice story

mozar

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #13 on: August 19, 2016, 10:38:27 AM »
How many years have you been at your company?  If you have more than 2 years that's enough to show "loyalty "

Mother Fussbudget

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #14 on: August 19, 2016, 11:02:47 AM »
To add to the theme "be strategic about your job changes", when I worked for a 'software giant', I was on the hiring loop for a guy that my manager didn't want to hire because he didn't have a 4-year degree.  He was one of the best workers, managers, and strategic career thinkers I've ever met.  We eventually got him hired (over that manager's objections), and he rose in the ranks from 'lab-rat', to QA tester, test-lead, test-manager, product unit manager, group manager, and eventually to Partner.  He has since written a VERY GOOD book on the subject "Get Back Up", by George A. Santino.  As a motivational book, and career lesson plan from someone who thinks strategically, I wholeheartedly recommend it.  Check it out from your library (I read the Kindle version).

bognish

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #15 on: August 19, 2016, 01:28:46 PM »
If you do go back for more interviews make sure you are very honest and realistic about your duties and the situation at your current position. I was a hiring manager when a large local company was downsizing a department. I interviewed 3 employees who had the exact same title and responsibilities. It was pretty interesting hearing them describe what they did, how much they were responsible for, the reason for leaving and the work culture. I got 3 wildly different stories.

Goldielocks

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #16 on: August 19, 2016, 01:39:40 PM »
A friend told me this story.  It's vaguely related to your topic, but very funny in a karmic justice sort of way, so I'll share it anyway.

He meets a friend of his for lunch.  He and his friend are both managers, just at different consulting companies in the same industry.  His buddy says, "Oh, by the way, Joe Smith is really working out.  I'm glad we hired him."

"Joe Smith?  Who works for me?"

"Yeah."

"But he's out on bereavement leave!"

Yep, Joe took bereavement leave so he could test the waters at the other company and get paid by his old company at the same time!

He got fired from both jobs directly after lunch.

Another OT story..

I took an evening language course.  The instructor was telling the class a great way to make money.. (recommending it to the class)

Apparently during election and census years, she would tell her full time, day job employer that she was sick for 2 weeks and then go work as a pollster/ census taker for $3 more per hour, while collecting sick time pay.  I think polls paid supervisors $19 per hr and he dayjob paid only $16/hr...


 



gooki

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #17 on: August 19, 2016, 10:20:31 PM »
I should start doing it, try to get interviews at least every couple months, just one question, how do you manage getting a new job and not making it seem like you've been jumping from job to job on your resume? I've always thought it shows work ethic (or something), to have a consistent resume proving you've been loyal I guess, maybe I've been too worried about this and missed out on opportunities in the past.

All up in interviewing about three times a year. I have a 7 year stint at one company, so that looks good. Asking for a very high salary keeps the actual offers down, so I'm not job hopping all that often. The shortest I've stayed is 6 months. But aim for 3 year stints.

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #18 on: August 24, 2016, 01:02:20 PM »
My how things can change in a week.

Update for anyone who's even remotely interested listening to my job stories:

My boss quit. The manager talked to me and turns out, yes you guessed correctly, they're giving his position to my coworker, yay!!! (not)
It's ok this time, I'm fiiiiine and calm and collected, much more than I was when I made this thread.

My manager asked if they had made me an offer for my new coordinator position, and I said no. She mentioned she'll talk to her boss and suggest they give me a higher offer, to make up for my coworker's raise.

So this is what's gonna happen, if they don't offer me more money I'm out. I don't care if I don't have a job, I don't have direct dependants and I could easily live off my savings for at least a year. Thank God for mustachian ways.

In case anyone is wondering why I didn't just quit at that moment, I have bigger plans for my future that need me saving so that's a priority, but I'm not willing to be overlooked yet again.

thd7t

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #19 on: August 24, 2016, 01:14:36 PM »
Well, hopefully this means you have less competition for the position at company Y. Good luck!

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #20 on: August 24, 2016, 01:47:59 PM »
Well, hopefully this means you have less competition for the position at company Y. Good luck!

Thank you, that's still a possibility I guess :)

SKL-HOU

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #21 on: August 24, 2016, 01:52:56 PM »
So this is what's gonna happen, if they don't offer me more money I'm out. I don't care if I don't have a job, I don't have direct dependants and I could easily live off my savings for at least a year. Thank God for mustachian ways.

In case anyone is wondering why I didn't just quit at that moment, I have bigger plans for my future that need me saving so that's a priority, but I'm not willing to be overlooked yet again.

I think you need to stop comparing yourself to your coworker and focus on your own growth and success. So he is a better worker than you so he got promoted faster, so what? It is not the end of the world. Why would you quit your job over that (he got paid more because he is a better worker)? At least hold off until you find another job. Keep in mind that grass is always greener on the other side. You may end up with another coworker who gets ahead of you.

Kakashi

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #22 on: August 24, 2016, 02:28:38 PM »
My how things can change in a week.

Update for anyone who's even remotely interested listening to my job stories:

My boss quit. The manager talked to me and turns out, yes you guessed correctly, they're giving his position to my coworker, yay!!! (not)
It's ok this time, I'm fiiiiine and calm and collected, much more than I was when I made this thread.

My manager asked if they had made me an offer for my new coordinator position, and I said no. She mentioned she'll talk to her boss and suggest they give me a higher offer, to make up for my coworker's raise.

So this is what's gonna happen, if they don't offer me more money I'm out. I don't care if I don't have a job, I don't have direct dependants and I could easily live off my savings for at least a year. Thank God for mustachian ways.

In case anyone is wondering why I didn't just quit at that moment, I have bigger plans for my future that need me saving so that's a priority, but I'm not willing to be overlooked yet again.

You sound petty and jealous.  You continue to focus on your coworker where your happiness is tied to the playing field between the 2 of you.  You throw down an emotional ultimatum that if you don't get a raise, you'll quit.  Stop for a moment and think objectively.  You might get a temporary satisfaction from quitting, but it's you that will be hurting more in the end. 

Ask yourself why your coworker is getting ahead faster.  Is it networking?  Is it relationships?  Is it better skillsets?  Is it work ethic?  And focus on how you can improve yourself to be more competitive and how you can bring value to the company you work for. 

When I've dealt employees, the star ones stand out.  It's like night and day.  The problem always is, all the other employees never see where they fall short but will quickly notice a difference in pay or perks. 

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #23 on: August 24, 2016, 02:43:10 PM »
Your assumptions are fair enough.

My manager said she knows for sure he's been LUCKY, that's all.
He's lucky he knows a certain area of the company and his area coworker is on sick leave.
Then another coworker left the company and since this guy had way too much free time, they decided to give him the leaving guy's chores.
Meanwhile they didn't leave their tasks to me because I've been busy working on other projects for the company.

So now this guy knows about two areas and that's why they want him.

And I know I sound petty and jealous, but guess what, my manager agreed with my reaction as she's been through the same situation in the past. I don't think it's bad to compare and be upset when this guy and I started working on the same company on the very same day, and when my workload has been bigger than his.

I am afraid of looking petty to other coworkers who will not understand my reaction, but honestly if you haven't been in the same situation it's really really hard to put yourself in my shoes and very very easy to judge.

vivophoenix

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #24 on: August 24, 2016, 02:57:55 PM »
Your assumptions are fair enough.

My manager said she knows for sure he's been LUCKY, that's all.
He's lucky he knows a certain area of the company and his area coworker is on sick leave.
Then another coworker left the company and since this guy had way too much free time, they decided to give him the leaving guy's chores.
Meanwhile they didn't leave their tasks to me because I've been busy working on other projects for the company.

So now this guy knows about two areas and that's why they want him.

And I know I sound petty and jealous, but guess what, my manager agreed with my reaction as she's been through the same situation in the past. I don't think it's bad to compare and be upset when this guy and I started working on the same company on the very same day, and when my workload has been bigger than his.

I am afraid of looking petty to other coworkers who will not understand my reaction, but honestly if you haven't been in the same situation it's really really hard to put yourself in my shoes and very very easy to judge.

it sounds like he was promoted because he knew more, rather than you,  who worked more.

 who cares if you started the first day? looking in, it sounds like you assumed being a work horse is the key success. i have seen a lot of people who do that. often women.
working hard and doing more work only proves you're good doing exactly what you currently do. to be promoted you often have to show flexibility and to be honest, a willingness to take some risks for some wins

Kakashi

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #25 on: August 24, 2016, 03:51:50 PM »
Your assumptions are fair enough.

My manager said she knows for sure he's been LUCKY, that's all.
He's lucky he knows a certain area of the company and his area coworker is on sick leave.
Then another coworker left the company and since this guy had way too much free time, they decided to give him the leaving guy's chores.
Meanwhile they didn't leave their tasks to me because I've been busy working on other projects for the company.

So now this guy knows about two areas and that's why they want him.

And I know I sound petty and jealous, but guess what, my manager agreed with my reaction as she's been through the same situation in the past. I don't think it's bad to compare and be upset when this guy and I started working on the same company on the very same day, and when my workload has been bigger than his.

I am afraid of looking petty to other coworkers who will not understand my reaction, but honestly if you haven't been in the same situation it's really really hard to put yourself in my shoes and very very easy to judge.

You just said it right there, this guy has more knowledge, and it makes sense with more knowledge to be in a higher management roll.  It doesn't matter how he got the knowledge.  A lot of times it's luck.  A lot of time, it takes effort.

I'm trying to change your perspective.  You are suggesting that because you started at the same time with your coworker amongst other factors, that somehow you are owed a certain salary or position whether at this company or the next.  Get out of that mindset.  What you fail to see is that the reason you keep getting passed over by your coworker is that he's somehow more marketable than you are for the positions in question.


Dicey

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #26 on: August 24, 2016, 10:14:39 PM »
DJFlare99 and vivophoenix, will you please watch it? Your comments seem rather harsh. Can you be a little nicer, please? It's perfectly okay for OP to work through her stuff here. You can offer helpful advice, or you can be jerks. Both of these comments feel more the latter than the former.
You sound petty and jealous.
...it sounds like he was promoted because he knew more, rather than you,  who worked more.
 who cares if you started the first day? looking in, it sounds like you assumed being a work horse is the key success. i have seen a lot of people who do that. often women.

BlueHouse

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #27 on: August 25, 2016, 12:38:46 PM »
Your assumptions are fair enough.

My manager said she knows for sure he's been LUCKY, that's all.
He's lucky he knows a certain area of the company and his area coworker is on sick leave.
Then another coworker left the company and since this guy had way too much free time, they decided to give him the leaving guy's chores.
Meanwhile they didn't leave their tasks to me because I've been busy working on other projects for the company.

So now this guy knows about two areas and that's why they want him.

And I know I sound petty and jealous, but guess what, my manager agreed with my reaction as she's been through the same situation in the past. I don't think it's bad to compare and be upset when this guy and I started working on the same company on the very same day, and when my workload has been bigger than his.

I am afraid of looking petty to other coworkers who will not understand my reaction, but honestly if you haven't been in the same situation it's really really hard to put yourself in my shoes and very very easy to judge.

You just said it right there, this guy has more knowledge, and it makes sense with more knowledge to be in a higher management roll.  It doesn't matter how he got the knowledge.  A lot of times it's luck.  A lot of time, it takes effort.

I'm trying to change your perspective.  You are suggesting that because you started at the same time with your coworker amongst other factors, that somehow you are owed a certain salary or position whether at this company or the next.  Get out of that mindset.  What you fail to see is that the reason you keep getting passed over by your coworker is that he's somehow more marketable than you are for the positions in question.
Lunasol,
I think what you're doing and what you've been doing sound great.  Watching the competition is smart.  Comparing yourself to others in your class is good so you know where you fall.   And competition can be great as long as you have boundaries.  Now just take it to the next level. 
First, realize that some people are just lucky, or just get better breaks.  I see a lot of people who joined an organization and all rose up the ranks at the same time, then another similar organization where people skyrocketed to the top because there were openings available.  Nothing made those people better, they were just in the right place at the right time.  That happens.  We call those the people "golden" because it seems sometimes that they get all the breaks and all the good luck. 
So now you just have to figure out how you can get the good luck and how you can position yourself to be in line for the good breaks. 
I'm going to agree with others who said you need to show mgmt that you can do the next job (not just your own job).  Spend time outside of the office learning new skills.  Take courses.  Request training that will make you more valuable for the next job you want.  Identify the path you want to take, and not just "I want to be equal with co-worker". 
By the way, why has your workload been greater than his?  Why did you accept that?  Is that something you can leverage in the future?

SKL-HOU

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #28 on: August 25, 2016, 12:49:46 PM »
I am sorry but calling the coworker "lucky" is just a way for the OP to feel better. He has more knowledge than her (from her post). He could have easily refused to learn more but he didn't. There is no need to down play his success to make the OP feel better about herself. They went down different paths even if they started on the same day in the same path. It is that simple. Instead of turning it into "if I don't get what I want, I will quit just because the coworker got ahead of me", try to learn from his success.

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #29 on: August 26, 2016, 10:47:57 AM »
Yet another one of my updates:
I just got a call for an outsourced position at a tech company.
Outsourced here(MX) means probably more work, more money, less "401k" benefits but that doesn't matter to me at this moment.

The best thing about that position is location, the good company is a mere 0.52 miles from my house, for the first time in my life I could "perhaps" walk to work and join the walk/bike to work mustachians team!!!

Also I'm trying to negotiate more money at my current job, since I'm about to be promoted to the oh-so-promised coordinator position.
It was a good thing that my boss quit, cause I'm now in the position to negotiate harder.

Thank you all who have taken the time to post something, I've certainly been through some ups and downs in the past few months (more downs than ups) and I can't imagine how draining it can be to read my updates, I'm starting to get annoyed at myself for being such a whiny pants haha. Also kudos to the important people in my life who have been on my side or offering a shoulder to cry on.

Your assumptions are fair enough.

My manager said she knows for sure he's been LUCKY, that's all.
He's lucky he knows a certain area of the company and his area coworker is on sick leave.
Then another coworker left the company and since this guy had way too much free time, they decided to give him the leaving guy's chores.
Meanwhile they didn't leave their tasks to me because I've been busy working on other projects for the company.

So now this guy knows about two areas and that's why they want him.

And I know I sound petty and jealous, but guess what, my manager agreed with my reaction as she's been through the same situation in the past. I don't think it's bad to compare and be upset when this guy and I started working on the same company on the very same day, and when my workload has been bigger than his.

I am afraid of looking petty to other coworkers who will not understand my reaction, but honestly if you haven't been in the same situation it's really really hard to put yourself in my shoes and very very easy to judge.

You just said it right there, this guy has more knowledge, and it makes sense with more knowledge to be in a higher management roll.  It doesn't matter how he got the knowledge.  A lot of times it's luck.  A lot of time, it takes effort.

I'm trying to change your perspective.  You are suggesting that because you started at the same time with your coworker amongst other factors, that somehow you are owed a certain salary or position whether at this company or the next.  Get out of that mindset.  What you fail to see is that the reason you keep getting passed over by your coworker is that he's somehow more marketable than you are for the positions in question.
Lunasol,
I think what you're doing and what you've been doing sound great.  Watching the competition is smart.  Comparing yourself to others in your class is good so you know where you fall.   And competition can be great as long as you have boundaries.  Now just take it to the next level. 
First, realize that some people are just lucky, or just get better breaks.  I see a lot of people who joined an organization and all rose up the ranks at the same time, then another similar organization where people skyrocketed to the top because there were openings available.  Nothing made those people better, they were just in the right place at the right time.  That happens.  We call those the people "golden" because it seems sometimes that they get all the breaks and all the good luck. 
So now you just have to figure out how you can get the good luck and how you can position yourself to be in line for the good breaks. 
I'm going to agree with others who said you need to show mgmt that you can do the next job (not just your own job).  Spend time outside of the office learning new skills.  Take courses.  Request training that will make you more valuable for the next job you want.  Identify the path you want to take, and not just "I want to be equal with co-worker". 
By the way, why has your workload been greater than his?  Why did you accept that?  Is that something you can leverage in the future?
Thank you BlueHouse, your perspective is what I needed to hear.

Other people close to me who know of my situation with much more detail than I posted here also call it "dumb luck", I'll accept that and move on.

As for the work load, we're divided into teams under the same manager, and their workload was different than mine. Manager has slowly been moving some of my team's responsibilities to them, and that's why he's a "key" element at this moment.


DJFlare99 and vivophoenix, will you please watch it? Your comments seem rather harsh. Can you be a little nicer, please? It's perfectly okay for OP to work through her stuff here. You can offer helpful advice, or you can be jerks. Both of these comments feel more the latter than the former.
You sound petty and jealous.
...it sounds like he was promoted because he knew more, rather than you,  who worked more.
 who cares if you started the first day? looking in, it sounds like you assumed being a work horse is the key success. i have seen a lot of people who do that. often women.
Thank you Diane for your kind words. I am struggling here with this situation and that's why I politely asked everyone to be nice, but I knew beforehand that not everyone is nice on message boards.

I do know I might sound jealous, well that's because I am. I don't think it's that bad because I'd rather be jealous and competitive than not care about my career at all, I have worked hard and I will continue to work harder, because I am not less deserving than anyone else.

mm1970

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #30 on: August 26, 2016, 01:15:15 PM »
My how things can change in a week.

Update for anyone who's even remotely interested listening to my job stories:

My boss quit. The manager talked to me and turns out, yes you guessed correctly, they're giving his position to my coworker, yay!!! (not)
It's ok this time, I'm fiiiiine and calm and collected, much more than I was when I made this thread.

My manager asked if they had made me an offer for my new coordinator position, and I said no. She mentioned she'll talk to her boss and suggest they give me a higher offer, to make up for my coworker's raise.

So this is what's gonna happen, if they don't offer me more money I'm out. I don't care if I don't have a job, I don't have direct dependants and I could easily live off my savings for at least a year. Thank God for mustachian ways.

In case anyone is wondering why I didn't just quit at that moment, I have bigger plans for my future that need me saving so that's a priority, but I'm not willing to be overlooked yet again.

You sound petty and jealous.  You continue to focus on your coworker where your happiness is tied to the playing field between the 2 of you.  You throw down an emotional ultimatum that if you don't get a raise, you'll quit.  Stop for a moment and think objectively.  You might get a temporary satisfaction from quitting, but it's you that will be hurting more in the end. 

Ask yourself why your coworker is getting ahead faster.  Is it networking?  Is it relationships?  Is it better skillsets?  Is it work ethic?  And focus on how you can improve yourself to be more competitive and how you can bring value to the company you work for. 

When I've dealt employees, the star ones stand out.  It's like night and day.  The problem always is, all the other employees never see where they fall short but will quickly notice a difference in pay or perks.

This is ENTIRELY possible, and I've been there.  For years I managed and counseled younger engineers who were trying to get promoted.  My recommendations included all those things:
- Ask your boss what other responsibilities you need to take on to get promoted
- Ask the boss what other tasks need to be done
- Be proactive on your own, and make sure they know it
- Ask for the promotion

Often, the stars shine.  And the people who *don't* get promoted might be JUST FINE but NOT AS GOOD.  So, if the particular manager wants to promote and train and help *one* person of four, they are going to be picky.  Sometimes the person who doesn't get promoted just isn't good. Sometimes, he's just not good *enough* for that particular manager.

I've been a manager, and I've had a number of engineers working for me.  And I've had *that guy* who is a perfectly fine engineer.  But man, these other 5 engineers are better than you for these reasons:
- they are less emotional
- they are proactive
- they learn faster
- they get things done on time
- they finish what they start

When we had a big round of layoffs, the *only* junior engineer working for me who stayed was the female, and *only* because she was working in the area where we were short.  (But she was amazing anyway.)

HOWEVER, as a woman in a man's world, I have *also* seen women get passed over and men promoted for just being men.  It's happened to me.  I had a coworker who honestly did NOTHING and our boss tried to lay him off TWICE.  But because he had managed to "buddy up" to the CEO whenever he got the chance, they saved him and promoted him!  Sour grapes?  You'd better believe that every. senior. engineer here is pissed and has been for years. It's awesome for the morale, let me tell you.

Chranstronaut

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #31 on: October 05, 2016, 12:20:08 PM »
Also company y sounds sexist. Dynamic is often code for "a woman who has opinions and agency in her life and thus should be punished. " There are other jobs out there.

Funny, I've heard it used to describe a woman that is physically attractive and likeable, but intentionally avoids mentioning her aptitude and experience (and puts out the implication that they have neither).  Which is still sexist.  Generally with men, I've heard it used to describe someone cool, outgoing and smart.

---
Oh Lunasol, how I wish I could have seen this thread a few weeks ago. 
I literally had to have a little pity party for myself before I could admit that I was over my shitty job.  I felt petty and selfish and down on myself and eventually I worked through it as you have been and deciding what (if anything) would keep me here (nothing).

Yet another one of my updates:
I just got a call for an outsourced position at a tech company.
Outsourced here(MX) means probably more work, more money, less "401k" benefits but that doesn't matter to me at this moment.

YEAH!!!!! good job!

I do know I might sound jealous, well that's because I am. I don't think it's that bad because I'd rather be jealous and competitive than not care about my career at all, I have worked hard and I will continue to work harder, because I am not less deserving than anyone else.

I think you have plenty of reasons to feel unhappy and I don't think you're petty for your concerns.  And fuck it, you don't need a justifiable argument to feel sad or sub-optimal and seek a change at your job.  I think you're in that spot with me where you get to decide what you're doing and where you're headed instead of cruising along with the status quo.  It's terrifying and fun!  And you can decide to stay or leave and both are great options because you are thinking and trying and working hard.  You got this.

Chranstronaut

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #32 on: October 05, 2016, 12:40:16 PM »
Also, don't let harsh or aggressive opinions get you down.  We don't know you and we project all our own stuff onto your posts.  I had to do a little soul searching after the thread about my crazy ex-boss because people were telling me I was jealous/petty/stupid for being upset over it.  And I was/am those things, but it doesn't mean what happened wasn't surreal and awful to go through.

<3

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #33 on: October 06, 2016, 02:39:25 PM »
Thank you Chranstronaut! :) I'm glad you got your new job after all the hassle with ex boss and intern, it actually made me feel positive that I can find a new job too! 

It's been a learning process for me, dealing with job issues, job responsibilities, my own flaws and self-consciousness.

I'm trying to believe everything happens for a reason, and other things like "my time will come", "these other areas of my life are doing great" etc etc. This doesn't mean I'm not actively looking for other jobs, I'm just slightly more settled and trying to deal with the situation in a more adult way.

Money-wise I'm much better than I was 3 months ago, so even if this guy is my supervisor now and making more than I am, I'm still making more than I was 3 months ago (30% raise)

mm1970

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #34 on: October 07, 2016, 11:28:39 AM »
Thank you Chranstronaut! :) I'm glad you got your new job after all the hassle with ex boss and intern, it actually made me feel positive that I can find a new job too! 

It's been a learning process for me, dealing with job issues, job responsibilities, my own flaws and self-consciousness.

I'm trying to believe everything happens for a reason, and other things like "my time will come", "these other areas of my life are doing great" etc etc. This doesn't mean I'm not actively looking for other jobs, I'm just slightly more settled and trying to deal with the situation in a more adult way.

Money-wise I'm much better than I was 3 months ago, so even if this guy is my supervisor now and making more than I am, I'm still making more than I was 3 months ago (30% raise)
Sometimes the reason is just that life SUCKS

(Sorry, I don't believe in "everything happens for a reason".  I believe "shit happens" and you have to deal with it.)

Lunasol

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #35 on: October 07, 2016, 12:07:14 PM »
haha yeah

we can't win every battle I guess

Chranstronaut

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Re: Coworker and I interviewing for same position .... SOMEWHERE ELSE
« Reply #36 on: October 08, 2016, 11:34:36 AM »
Sometimes the reason is just that life SUCKS

A wise person once told me that work will always suck because you have to work with other people and people are the worst.  Now I just remind myself of that when things just suck and it helps :D