Saw this over the weekend, but this is the first I can chime in.....I'm in the north end myself.
If the potential job for the hubby is in the UW area, you DO have a viable option that hasn't been mentioned yet: The Burke Gillman trail. You can live in Bothell and bike commute direct to the UW area with no traffic. If you live a bit north, you can drive to Logboom Park (on the north shore of Lk Washington) and bike from there to the UW, Ballard, etc - anywhere on the Burke Gillman, or cut off at the U District across the University Bridge down Eastlake into the south Lake Union area.
Also - with the caveat that yes, in fact, I-5 traffic in the north end is heavy - you do need to take into consideration the transit options. Mountlake Terrace and Lynnwood have P&R lots right on I-5 with direct, express bus lines to down town Seattle AND to the UW. I bus commuted to both locations in the past - it was extra sleeping time for me - I trained myself to wake up when the bus slowed down from freeway speed. These are relatively plush commuter buses - no bums. ALSO consider the fact that the light rail system will be up to Lynnwood in about 10 years. That'll take you from there to UW or downtown without traffic concerns. Buy close enough to walk to the Lynnwood P&R for example and you can also walk to groceries, restaurants (not that any of us here ever go out), etc. Expand to bike range to the P&R and you have a lot more options, and could bike to the same services. Also note that practically all the buses around here have bike racks on them. A hybrid bus / bike commute is an option. Spend some time on the Sound Transit web site - note that ST ISN'T threatening to cut service like KC Metro (which is bullshit, since Pierce transit just increased service, but I digress).
In both Lynnwood and MLT, one can get a LOT of house for 450k. If you go a bit toward Bothell Everett Highway, that would get you into the Northshore School District and you could still do the hybrid car - bike commute to the UW easily.
As for costs - run the numbers in your particular circumstances. Look at overall costs of obtaining the minimum level of housing that suits your needs. If you save 100k in housing costs by going to Shoreline, Lake Forest Park, Lynnwood, MLT, etc, and spend an extra 1k / year in bus commuting, that's a win in my book (put the 100k at 3% = 3k / year pre tax. Knock down by 1/3 for tax and you're still ahead).
YMMV. IMO. Yadda, yadda, yadda......