Happy to elaborate. Some of this may seem familiar as I've adapted some of MMMs ideas.
Size: 50-200k. Fairly large range, just not too small or too large. Doesn't have to be all in one city, e.g. could be a smaller city within a few miles of a larger city or multi-city corridor, though I prefer a compact medium size city over small towns spread out. Want reasonable amenities within a few miles: parks, library, hardware store, groceries, etc. Much fewer than 50k and IMO it gets too sparse. Much larger than 200k and it starts to feel large and sprawling.
Cost of living: Average or somewhat above is fine. Santa Cruz is over 2x the average, with housing 4.4x average :(
Distinctness: Self contained city that is not a bedroom community or suburb of a larger city. Strongly prefer being more than 2+ hours from a large metro area. I don't mind tourists, but don't want to be in an area where a neighboring large city empties into for weekend day trips. Decent downtown, doesn't need to be perfect, just good enough for occasional dates and family nights out. Would continue doing most trips by bike. One of the aspects of WA and OR I find compelling are the urban growth boundaries: Cities are for living, everything else is for agriculture and/or visiting.
Climate: Prefer drier, colder winter (i.e. snow) over rain. Anything in summer is fine as long as it's not excessively hot (110+. Once in a while is fine, just not weeks on end).
Proximity to outdoor activities: Hiking, backpacking, camping, hunting, fishing, mountain biking, road biking...love it all and want options nearby. Was an avid skier/snowboarder in college and interested in getting back into it, but want to be within an hour. Also interested in getting back into backcountry skiing/snow camping. The winter stuff is simply too much of an ordeal for us right now at 5+ hrs each way. Variety is also important. One of my happy places is near/just above treeline - cold alpine lakes, gnarled wind blown trees, snowy peaks in summer. But also enjoy a hot day at a river or lake at lower elevations and appreciate the stark beauty the high desert.
Culture: Somewhat balanced. Not too hippy-dippy. Nothing against hippies, but interested in more than old run down victorians festooned with prayer flags as far as the eye can see (exaggerating, I know). Also not looking for Trumptown. Specifically, since I enjoy hunting there's a certain type of hunter very annoying. Probably unavoidable, but would like to minimize the loud arrogant type that brags a lot and is more interested in shooting shit and killing things than being in nature appreciating the privilege of harvesting from the land. Also prefer a local political scene that's focused on keeping things running and improvements. In other words, I'd like to pay taxes that go to making the city a great place to live: Clean parks, sewer capacity, water supply, business friendly regulations, redevelopment, urban infill, libraries. We like to read, and learn about nature, but not huge into Art or Performing Arts, so this is more of a bonus than a must have. Fine with occasional travel to a bigger metro for this. A certain amount of social cohesion and town spirit would be nice, yet realize that this can also work against us as 'outsiders' and an area with recent 'transplants' could mean people are a bit more accepting. University is a plus as long as it's not too large relative to the rest of the population.
I don't think there's any perfect utopia out there, and expect we will end up making tradeoffs. Deal breakers would be super extreme political culture (on either end), a city that doesn't invest in itself (either because citizens are anti-tax or anti-change), super extreme climate (though I don't think this is a problem anywhere in PNW), 50% or higher than average cost of living. Oh, and the church thing I mentioned upthread, though that's so personal that it's something we need to explore for ourselves.
Thanks for all the input and ideas. Looking at Ellensburg now :)