Author Topic: Commute or Move - Dilemma  (Read 1852 times)


  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
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Commute or Move - Dilemma
« on: March 10, 2018, 11:33:55 PM »

At the end of this month, I will be finishing my Master's degree in computer science. I want to pursue an academic career because I think research is fun.
Here is the problem: I currently still live in my university town together with my girlfriend and I can only earn a PhD at an institution that is about 100km away; there is just no nearby institution that offers a PhD in a subject that actually interests me.

Should I give up on living with my girlfriend full-time, move to the place of my new work and only see her on the weekends, or should I do the 1000km/week commute? My girlfriend is unable to move with me since she is still in university for 1.5 years.

According to the MMM blog, the choice should be obvious: move. But I feel like that would deprive me of a lot of joyful moments with my girlfriend.

It seems like a dilemma to me, maybe you know a way out.



  • Handlebar Stache
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Re: Commute or Move - Dilemma
« Reply #1 on: March 11, 2018, 03:41:41 AM »
Money-wise moving might be the best option, unless the amount of extra rent you'd pay (as you now share rent with GF) is bigger than the amount you'd spend on commuting. Does the university offer compensation for a commute (e.g. my uni gives you 19 cents/km)?

It also greatly depends on how long the drive will be. If it's just a traffic jam free highway, it will take you one hour. If it's around a highly populated area or if you have to drive a lot on rural roads with lower speed limits this could easily double.

On the other hand; it's just 1.5 years. It's just 100 km. You could see each other every weekend. Is there an option for your girlfriend to do an internship or exchange at the uni you'd be going? You would also have the option to gain 1 year of work experience close to the city you're currently in, then check for the PhD again and move together.


  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
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Re: Commute or Move - Dilemma
« Reply #2 on: March 11, 2018, 02:41:58 PM »
What you're saying sounds very sensible, thank you.

I don't think they offer a compensation for the commute. I guess it will come down to commuting, then. As you said, it's also just 1.5 years, so it shouldn't make much of a difference either way.


  • Walrus Stache
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Re: Commute or Move - Dilemma
« Reply #3 on: March 11, 2018, 04:18:08 PM »
What Hirondelle said.

Also, before you commit to this path, make sure you've got a realistic idea of the job market. The last thing you want to do is spend a bunch of time (if you can't get money for school, then you shouldn't be doing it, btw) to find out you can't get a job.