What does it really cost to have a child?

[simulatedsanity]

Sorry if this has been asked before, having trouble with the search function. Just wondering if you can help me get an idea about the hard costs of having a child(ren). What does each child add to your budget in life necessities and minimal extras? When I look online all I can find is the stock it costs $250,000 to raise a child to 18. What do mustachians pay? I am not talking about lost wages or childcare costs, just additional utilities, food, clothing, gas etc. once they are no longer babies. For those with multiple kids, does that number double or is each additional child 1.5 times the cost due to hand me downs, bulk cooking etc.

We plan on public school, two organised activities per year, fine with kids sharing rooms so no need to upgrade house or car. We are in Canada so no healthcare costs and we may or may not pay for university. If we did, we would pay tuition, child would pay for living expenses.

I know this varies widely from place to place, but just trying to get a general idea. Thanks in advance!

[raspberries]

I think the reason you can't find an estimate is because it ranges SO widely depending on your parenting style and circumstances. Breastfeeding is free, while formula costs ~$50-$150/mo (this isn't something that can always be controlled - not every woman can breastfeed despite her best intentions.) Cloth diapers have an upfront cost of a couple hundred, but can save you cash over the long-run. I have a one-and-a-half year old, and our overall budget is around $150 more than it was before he came around (that's not including daycare, obviously.) That mainly covers diapers/wipes, extra food, a swim class at the Y on Sundays, and the occasional baby clothing purchase (most of his clothes were gifted or hand-me-downs.)

ETA: This obviously assumes we've already purchased/received big ticket items like strollers, furniture, etc. - so this would be an example for a normal month, where we're not purchasing a new carseat.

[MrsDinero]

It varies greatly and really depends on what you and your family decide to do.

I was unable to breastfeed so our formula costs are high. Our 1 year old just transitioned from formula to milk but we buy organic milk.  I have a 6 week old on formula so we have not seen any cost savings yet. 

We use cloth diapers on both kids (except at night).  All of our boy's clothes are hand-me-downs and free.  For our daughter we had to buy clothes, the majority were purchased used and for a great price.

We don't spend a lot on toys because we don't have a lot.  The toys we do have we keep most in a box and only bring out a couple for the baby the play with at a time, put them away, then bring out something else.

When it comes to activities when they get older, it is really going to depend.  My brother used to play hockey which could cost a few thousand a year (sometimes he was on a travel team). 

I was in band and choir so my costs were low.  If you end up 2 kids in hockey then it could be very expensive, if you end up with 2 kids in drama then it could be less expensive. 

My parents said when both my brothers entered their teen years the grocery bill almost doubled because of the amount of food they would eat.

[meandmyfamily]

We have 4 kids and it really isn't that much as long as everyone is healthy and stays healthy.  Breastfeed, use hand me downs...it can be very expensive only if you make it that way.  Our Grandparents are wonderful about getting the kids things they need or really want or chipping in for a class or two.  That really helps as well!  Deciding how many activities each kid can do and the cost each one is key.  I wish we put more thought into this in the beginning.  My oldest is a ballerina and it is very expensive at 13 but not so much at 5.  Food definitely is increasing at our house.  The teenage years will be pricey in that area.

[PharmaStache]

All costs go up- food, electricity, water, clothing (oh the number of winter accessories I buy, lol), travel (paying for another flight, etc), activities are a big one for older kids (good advice about thinking ahead on those ones...my piano lessons were like $40/hr 20 years ago, who knows how much they are now for an older child), RESP contribution ($2500/year per kid, if you want the max match), childcare is huge and lasts FOREVER (some people are still paying hundreds a month for before/after school care until the age of 10-12), healthcare costs not covered by the Canadian health care system or your private insurance (braces, other dental care, eyeglasses, medications, etc).  Then if your child has special needs who knows what extra costs there could be there...

I find it's pretty cheap from ages 1-5 but am expecting costs to go up in the future.  And obviously there is a huge range of what parents spend- from frugal to the sky's the limit!

[Cranky]

Babies are really pretty cheap, except for formula and daycare. Buy stuff secondhand, accept all handmedowns, and remember that baby stuff is more for the convenience of the parent - the baby really does not care.

Teenagers will be considerably more expensive.

[CNM]

It varies widely. Diapers, formula, clothes, and so on are relatively minor expenses.  You can get a lot of things used or on sale.  The major expenses are:

1- medical expense of pregnancy and delivery.  It depends on  your policy but I had to pay several thousand out of pocket when it was said and done.

2- day care/nanny  I'd estimate this to be $1000/mo until the child is school aged.

[onlykelsey]

I'm trying to figure this out right now since my firstborn is due in 11 weeks.  We're (so far) not big on STUFF for the baby, but will be paying ~36,000 yearly for daycare and ~8,000 yearly for health insurance coverage, so I can't imagine we'll do better than spending 50K in the first year, and that's assuming an unmediated, no pain med, no C-section natural birth, and easy breastfeeding.

[AMandM]

Some costs increase roughly in proportion to the number of people, such as water usage for showers and laundry.  Others don't: heating the house costs pretty the same regardless of the number of people in the house.  Others increase, but at less than the rate of adding people; multiple kids' toys cost less than double/triple/quadruple one kid's toys.

On the other hand, having children at all may lead to lifestyle changes that increase or decrease costs in ways that are not related at all to the number of people.  When our first were born they were tiny and could not keep themselves warm.  We had to turn the heat up much farther than we had before.  Now we homeschool, so we're home all day, and we use more electricity for lights and cooking than if we were both out at work all day.  On the other hand, we used to eat out more; with kids, it's not worth the expense.

[Tester]

I don't know how much it costs because I did not track it.
But we had to use formula.
He was healthy so not a lot of money there.
Clothes - we got hand downs while in our country, since we moved to the US less as we don't have relatives here. We still got some from relatives close by.
Shoes were the worst part.
When we arrived we bought 4 pair in 3 weeks... 😀.

Now I will tell you how we approached having a baby, hope it helps.
We wanted to wait to be sure we will be able to give the best to our child....
After some time we realized we will be able to grow a child even if we can't provide the best.
Now we think we should be a gotten a child earlier.

I will be 52 when he will be 18. I hope I will be in good shape to go hiking with him until he will go on his own... I am getting tired quicker now than 10 years ago....

So I would say that if you want a child and can take care of him to not stop that because of money or delaying FIRE.
You can get more money, you can eventually FIRE... But after an age it will become harder and riskier to have a child.

[lthenderson]

As others said, it varies greatly. How we raise our two kids is much much cheaper than how friends of our raise their kids. We just live a different lifestyle than they do.

The single biggest expense in raising a kid is paying for college.  The second highest expense was daycare. Everything else has just been minute increases to our budget compared to those two things.

[simulatedsanity]

Thanks for all the replies. I know there's such a swing due to different circumstances, I was just hoping to get an idea of what a more mustache-minded person ends up spending. Tester something to think about and AMandM, thanks I was looking for a number like "we've noticed our bills have gone up x amount"

There's lot of info about baby years/stuff so I have a pretty good idea there. I just don't know how much an 8 year old eats :) I guess everybody finds out as they go.

[hoping2retire35]

Time.

since you said not counting lost wages or childcare I am guessing you already have one and one of you is a sahp or just planning on having more than 1. Stress can be higher when multiple people are sick.

With twins we collected a lot of stuff so with baby we havn't really bought much. A few toddler baby books that they chewed/destroyed. Some of the shoes we were saving wore out much quicker. He breastfeed so that helped. Spend less than $100 a month on diapers.

Once you have one person working and one person stay at home adding an extra isn't expensive. We have three little ones so we are pretty much tuckered out. I don't think we will have another until the twins are spending a lot of time in school.

[honeybbq]

As many pointed out already, it varies.

In general the costs can be pretty low - we get lots of kids' clothes at the goodwill, got her bike there for $20, picked up a used scooter on craigslist, etc. We enjoy a lot of free activities like walking to the playground, going to the library, etc.

However, if you travel a lot by plane (or even on vacation) that is where a lot of costs can be high. Buying them their own plane tickets, stuff like ski lessons, extra body on a cruise, it can all be $$$. Just think of how much Disneyland could be if that is on your radar. Their friends' birthdays gifts can add up (we usually limit to $20/party).

[englishteacheralex]

Childcare, childcare, childcare. All the other stuff is peanuts compared to either the loss of income of one spouse or the cost of daycare. We haven't bought a single article of clothing for our kids--all hand me downs from friends. Haven't bought any furniture, toys, books, anything really. We use disposable diapers, so that's around $40/month per kid. Formula is expensive but only lasts a year. Food is pretty cheap for our two year old--he just eats what we eat, and doesn't need that much.

We really hardly pay for anything as far as feeding/clothing the kids. It's all daycare. And daycare for two kids (an infant and a toddler) is around $2300/month in our area. Yes. That is more than our mortgage. For me to stay home still would be much more expensive than to pay for childcare. So we suck it up.

We're pretty excited about kindergarten at a public school. Unfortunately, that's still four years away. I've really got my fingers crossed for some new legislation regarding daycare. At least they could make the tax break on childcare higher--right now it's capped at $5000/year, where it's been since (I think) the eighties. Considering we're paying almost $30k/year, $5k is just a drop in the bucket.

[Goldielocks]

My guess.... from age 7 on wards (no daycare)

EACH KID, for 10 years

$100 per month per child for activities / incidentals..  assuming only one activity at a time.  (Teens work for extra clothes / activities/ school fees spending money once they are 14 or 15)
$150 per month for food (averaged!) -- higher if you succumb to packaged foods (pizza pop junk) for teenager boys after school
$60/mo clothing / haircuts / medical, other incidentals etc. --->Handme down clothes work great, but I tended to buy a LOT of second hand snow / rain wear and shoes, especially in Calgary.  Lots and lots and lots of of shoes $$$  and they are hard to get second hand after age 7.  Includes incidental medical / dental  co pays, asthma meds or normal medical bits and pieces.
$50/mo - extra utilities, internet (because minecraft uses up all your access), $$ towards laptop / hardware access, toss in extra fuel for running around too.
$40/mo -- gift fund (for presents for your own kid for christmas / birthday, as there is only a modest amount of spend indicated above)

Monthly -- $390/month per kid over 7 years...

$47,000 over 10 years

PLUS

Saving for post secondary tuition -- $6000 per post secondary year (in 2016) x 4 yrs, increasing by 2% per year from today.
Extra $'s for family vacations.  $8000  (yes, really! even camping gear costs money, mix in occasional flight..?)
Extra $'s are needed from time to time -- kids beds, desks, new fridge or washing machine, bedding, etc...Averaged over 18 years it is not so much, but it does come in mighty uncomfortable lumps.  $2000
Extra for teenagers -- increased car insurance, driving lessons, grad dress, etc.  $2000
Extra $'s for braces, vision / glasses or physio therapy or educational tutors or what not. -- $5000 per lifetime

Total lifetime "lumps":  $41,000 age 8-18

 plus of course whatever the costs through age 7 are (childcare is yikes, but the other costs can be modest)  e.g., $1k/month x 12 months x 7 years = $84k...??  all in.

New total with fuzzy math:  $172k per kid, age 0-17; including up to $1k/month of childcare through age 7.
--> $172k = $47k + $41k +$84k




I would say this is on the lower side --most around us seem to be spending more... remove $24k if you don't fund tuition....

[simulatedsanity]

That's awesome goldilocks! Really appreciate the breakdown. I'm in Calgary so I know about winter gear! Your figure seems reasonable, kids are expensive but $175k is a lot better than $250k.

[englishteacheralex]

That's awesome goldilocks! Really appreciate the breakdown. I'm in Calgary so I know about winter gear! Your figure seems reasonable, kids are expensive but $175k is a lot better than $250k.

Yes but remember that she didn't include the daycare costs from 0-7, which amounts to around 70k depending on your situation.

[Prairie Stash]

Sorry if this has been asked before, having trouble with the search function. Just wondering if you can help me get an idea about the hard costs of having a child(ren). What does each child add to your budget in life necessities and minimal extras? When I look online all I can find is the stock it costs $250,000 to raise a child to 18. What do mustachians pay? I am not talking about lost wages or childcare costs, just additional utilities, food, clothing, gas etc. once they are no longer babies. For those with multiple kids, does that number double or is each additional child 1.5 times the cost due to hand me downs, bulk cooking etc.

The $250 is to age 18 and includes the cost of housing, people tend to buy bigger houses when they have kids. That's  a third of the average cost (30-33%), if you sell your house in the future it doesn't reduce the "cost", that's not how the number was generated, so take that however you want. Childcare is the next largest at 18% and food is third at 16% of the $250K. Typically rich people spend more, poor people spend less (the $250 is an average).

For a low earner (under $60K), or someone who spends like a mustachian, the average estimate without housing or daycare is $95,190/child (for 2 children families) for 18 years in 2013 dollars. If you have a third child it costs less; officially 78%of the first two (hand me downs and car pooling). Only children come in at 1.25 times the average for dual children families.

Without childcare, lost wages, or housing; the cost can be less than the UCCB a family could get. Not a good reason to have children, the lost wages/daycare/housing will eat up the extra. Weirdly if I FIRE I'll get about $10K/year government and that could exceed the average expenditures the USDA suggests I should have/

The scientific answer is linked here, look at the last page for a breakdown of each category:
https://www.cnpp.usda.gov/sites/default/files/expenditures_on_children_by_families/crc2013.pdf

[Goldielocks]

That's awesome goldilocks! Really appreciate the breakdown. I'm in Calgary so I know about winter gear! Your figure seems reasonable, kids are expensive but $175k is a lot better than $250k.

Yes but remember that she didn't include the daycare costs from 0-7, which amounts to around 70k depending on your situation.

I put in 84k for the zero to age seven, as a placeholder, primarily intended for daycare, as it is possible to be quite frugal about younger kids if you have family near (gifts of books and clothing, second hand items), and food is minor... maybe heating costs for higher winter heating costs when you have a baby...  BUT I took it out at age 8 and older...

[AMandM]

Thanks for all the replies. [...] AMandM, thanks I was looking for a number like "we've noticed our bills have gone up x amount"

There's lot of info about baby years/stuff so I have a pretty good idea there. I just don't know how much an 8 year old eats :) I guess everybody finds out as they go.

I'm sorry, I can't give you a number, for several reasons.  Primarily because I haven't tracked expenses all our married life, but also because tons of other things changed along with the number and ages of kids.  We moved to different cities and countries, we had different kinds of utilities, we had different social patterns, etc.  So there's no way to separate out the costs due just to the kids.  I will say that teenagers eat a lot!

[simulatedsanity]

No worries AMandM I mixed you up with another poster who said they noticed things went up $150 a month. Your comment about how lifestyle changes made a big difference was really helpful though.

[Jrr85]

Childcare, childcare, childcare. All the other stuff is peanuts compared to either the loss of income of one spouse or the cost of daycare.

This is pretty much right for us.  We spend $130 per kid per week for childcare.  That will go down as they get older, but from what i can tell the decrease will be offset with new expenses as they become more active.  The rest of the stuff I think we could have kept down to under $75 a month without much trouble if we had tried (but not sure as we didn't try)

The gear is expensive but you really should be able to find cheap used stuff if you try.  I think our baby stroller cost $185 (given as a shower gift) and our baby carrier (that matched the baby stroller, which is completely unnecessary in case you're wondering) was around $85 and then each car base was around $60.  The convertible seats we bought were both I think close to $200.  All of that was overkill and we probably could have gotten basically the same models from friends for almost nothing if we had put the effort into it. 

We have gotten a ton of hand me down clothes but still spent a good bit.

I don't have it broken down, but in addition to the $130 per kid per week for childcare, we spent about $390 per month for baby gear, clothes, and activities for teh first child the first year.  With two children under two we spent about $224 per month per child (went down because we got to reuse a lot of the gear), and now we're up to around $245 per month with a 2 and 3 year old.  Not sure this is helpful because it includes so much wasteful stuff (way too much on kids activities for a 2 and 3 year old because we had a nanny for a while that took them to activities a lot; also spent a lot on photography sessions; bought clothes we didn't need, etc.). 

We also saved a lot from going out less ourselves, but when we do, we also have babysitter expenses to add.  We spent about $50 a month on babysitting for the first year with our first child, and have spent $125 per month for the last two years.  But that's largely driven by new work requirements, so not sure that's really helpful either.

I didn't break out our formula and diaper costs as they were just rolled into our already high grocery bill and as we didn't make a serious effort to control our spending until after we had kids, our grocery bill went down even after adding the new expenses to it.       

[Christiana]

Somewhere on this forum there's a poll of per capita Mustachian spending. Many were around $10k USD per year (per person). MMM was more like $8k per family member, but he has lower housing costs than most. A few really hardcore Mustachians were at $5k.

The biggest costs of having a child are in time and energy and other opportunity costs, but in terms of money outlay my rule of thumb for my family is that a (healthy) child will cost about as much per year as a Mustachian adult. Sometimes our income has not quite been at that level, and we've felt pinched, but we came through all right.