Wow, so much good feedback, where do I begin?
Tornadoes are certainly a concern, we weren't too far off from the ones that touched down here last month. We were driving home in the middle of the storm, and watching those clouds trying to form funnels - wow. Totally scary. I'm not so sure that is a big factor, they would have to evacuate, and that's what insurance is for, right? She'll go for the lowest deductible, I know her well. ;)
Dripping with contempt, lol - yeah, a little bit. ;) They weren't parents of the year either and did a lot to hurt my hubby growing up, but it's all we got! Rest assured that I do not address my MIL this way. I try to lay it out factually, and keep it simple, b/c otherwise, she will get overwhelmed. And she deals with both hubby & I, but when we talk, we talk all three of us together. Ironically, I feel that he is sometimes too harsh with her, but he knows how she is, and I suspect a little forcefulness helps push her along, or else she'd never make a decision. For the record, she has done many things wrong, but overall, I actually like her. My FIL, he's a lost cause and everyone tolerates him, he's like a potted plant in the background. Where my hubby has forgiven his mom, he has not and will not forgive his dad.
Should be close to $300K plus SSA, so yeah, they could be in far worse shape given how little they have planned for the future. It's a totally different mindset, which is why we look at that $300K and think, it could go in a heartbeat. If they decide on the mobile home for example, that $60K is a sunk cost. No way will that be worth anywhere near that once they deliver it on site, but given their inability to budget, paying for it up front and giving them a little more freedom w/the monthly SSA will make things more comfortable.
The budget HOPEFULLY has some padding into it, but I'm not sure. I created the budget to give them an idea, a comparison between the two options. Complete with pie charts, b/c I really like Excel, and I want to make sure they really understand what they are doing. It's not like they can change their mind and move back to NY and live in the basement apartment again if things don't work out. My SIL has suggested providing additional funding monthly if necessary, but we are all hoping that it won't come to that. They know how these two are as well, and they have similar concerns about spending.
I've been out grocery shopping w/them many times, and it's just a whole bunch of wastefulness. Everything from name brand paper towels to the finest cut of filet mignon to individual bottled water, tea and sodas. Then they cook big batches, but won't eat leftovers and if it's been in the fridge for 2-3 days, out to the trash it goes. The take out is hysterical, and this habit isn't going to fly out here. They both decide to order from a local pizzeria, and they each get a meatball sub. The bell rings, and one of them shuffles upstairs, pays for the individual meal, then goes downstairs, and the other one comes up, and does the same thing. Poor delivery person! That's another concern, they don't pool resources. I get that many people don't and it works fine, but my FIL opted to retire early, so he gets a much smaller check than she will be getting. But then they do activities together like eating, shopping, movies, etc, which they split 50/50 or pretty close to that. So guess who runs out of cash and the other one holds it over their head? They decided to stay together for financial reasons, yet their finances could be so much better if they were fair and held each other accountable. I know, pipe dream!
So, the 2 BR low income units are roughly 800 sq ft. Their 2 BR apt is about 1400 sq ft. The largest single wide is a 3 BR, 2 Ba, almost 1,200 sq ft. They each get their own BR, and then there's a spare room which will probably just be storage. The apartment is very tight on closet space, they actually have a closet out on the balcony which won't be able to store things that need climate control.
I totally agree, I worry too much about them, I will probably run myself ragged trying to score deals and furnish the place as much as possible before their arrival, and I will be the type to help too much. It's coded in my DNA, I think. I also get a thrill from helping people score deals, some of my friends jokingly call me their personal shopper. I could care less about buying stuff for myself (other than Vanguard), but I enjoy researching stuff and finding great deals for others.
Hubby does have to keep me in check when my mind wanders into all the things we can do to help. We've already done a ton here, and we know that the elder care responsibility for them will fall largely on our shoulders, but they have to actually do a lot of the heavy lifting here too, or they might never figure it out on their own. At the same time, we do have selfish reasons for helping. My BIL's relationship is very strained w/his parents, so we know that there won't be much support there when the time comes. Hubby & I are hoping that if we help them along a better path now, we won't be stuck cleaning up a mess down the line, or shouldering too much responsibility.
I hope I answered everyone!