I'd break out the MISC into School and MISC. $250/month is a lot, but if it is $200 for school and $50 for other, that is actually pretty darn good. Chances are it's probably closer to 150/100, which is still good. But it might help identify if there is a spending issue there with non-school spending.
Baby costs: only thing worth spending money on for new is the car seat. Everything else used is fine. Crib (just get a cover/plastic bag for the mattress), stroller (find one that you can use with the car seat), clothes, toys, bottles, etc. All of those are fine once they are cleaned (boiled if possible, washed for clothes, wiped down with bleach for toys/furniture). Only reason I say get a new car seat is you never know if a used one was in a wreck and could have some damage. Also, look for thrift stores with large baby sections, they are great places to go shopping. I get mad now if I have to spend more than $1-2 on an outfit. Total spent on baby 'set-up' was about $600 (of which $400 was gifts from family) and probably another $200 worth of borrowed items (from families in-between kids). Talk to 2-3 moms with a 1+ yr old about what stuff you need and what is just crap they try to sell you (wipes warmer).
Baby savings: call insurance and get them to give you a rough out of pocket quote then do 1.5x that (since you have a history of family issues). After that, just look at what the worst case would be with you out of work. Don't forget that you'd only need to cover from when you plan to have the baby (mid 2017) until when hubby can start working - you are living off one salary right now, don't change that. If he starts working before baby, then the rest just goes to house fund.
house: no buying a house until you know you are staying here for 5 years. So wait until hubby is out of school and working. Then you can look into the house. Also get a starter house first. Convince him that a smaller house will let you save more to get the dream house in 10 years. By then he should see that the big yard isn't as important as the people who fill it. Plus you will know what truly matters to you as a couple (location, schools, near work, near family/friends, etc) rather than just guessing what you want (size, bathrooms, yard, finishes, etc)
My only concern is tying all that money up into accounts that cannot be touched for another 40/50 years. You wouldn't suggest adding more to the Vanguard account so we have easier access to funds when needed?
In the IRAs, you only tie up your
earnings until 59.5, you can withdraw the money you deposited at any time. So if you deposit $10k and it is now worth $13k, you can pull out the $10k without penalty. The $3k would be subject to tax and penalty (if you took that out before 59.5). It took me a long time to realize this, but helped me see how people can FIRE with only retirement savings.