It takes guts posting your situation to the world, so props for that! You have a tough situation, but clearly you know the way out. Stick in there, you can do it! It will likely seem like time is dragging by, and you will never be free, but ovet time your progress will speed up.
As for your questions:
1: Loans like this, pay the minimums on everything, and give extra to one loan at a time. The loan you should give extra to should be the one with the highest interest rate. This means you pay less in the long run.
If you have multiple with the same rate, pay off the smallest one. This way you get rid of a loan faster, and therefore will no longer have to pay minimums on it. (Useful for safety if you have a period of unemployment, etc. Then you have lower minimum loan expenses!)
Following this strategy, you go:
7,3,4,8,1,5,2,9,10. I assume the subsidized loans are accruing interest since you "finished" school 4 years ago? If any subsidised loans are NOT accruing interest, only pay the minimum until such a time as they do start accruing.
Other debt:
Medical: I would call and ask them to reconsider, or just pay it. It isn't too much..
Phone: If you legitimately told them to close the account and they didn't, this isn't actually your responsibility. Good luck with the negotiations!
Parking: It's in collections, you owe it, it's only $125. Pay it ASAP.
Credit card 1: Work something out? Good luck.
Sallie Mae: Ditto
Wells Fargo: If you honestly owe this, pay it ASAP. It's a tiny amount, and then you can remove a liability account!
IRS: File taxes... the sooner you get that done the sooner you dont have to worry about the IRS. The longer you wait the worse it will get..
Library: Pay this off as soon as you can, it is again a small amount, and they clearly have a way to work it out with the food etc.
Credit card 2: good luck.
Overall, you only owe $50,000, and you have LOW expenses. You can get out of this without filing for bankruptcy or anything! If I were you, I would concentrate on doing the following:
1. Pay only minimums on student loans. Ask for a payment plan adjustment so you can reduce your minimums without adjusting interest rates.. even if they will only do this for a short time. (ONLY try this if you WILL pay more than the minimums as SOON as you can!!)
2. Find all of your other debts. You need to know your ENTIRE financial situation. It may be depressing, but you are in the process of fixing it so you have that going for you.
3. Pay off all of the random debts, especially if they are in collections. You might as well try to be nice to your future credit score, and if you owe money legitimately, you should probably try to pay it...
4. Work out a repayment plan for your larger non student loan debts. This is outside my experience. Luckily, your total "other debt" is low.
5. Once you have all of the collections debt etc taken care of, snowball your student loans using the strategy I explained earlier.
6. Become debt free! With "no" pain or stress. (I know it will be hard, but again, you can do it!)
Other tips: These are things I personally have been doing recently, that are allowing my wife and I to throw a LOT more money at our student loans.
1. Learn to cook food cheaply. Even if your significant other is buying, you might as well be economical! Maybe if you help reduce the food budget for him, he could return the favor and send the money you helped him save to your loans? I personally enjoy budget food websites such as
http://www.poorgirleatswell.com/ (Slightly bland- add more spices) and
http://www.budgetbytes.com/ - If you can make cooking fun for yourself, you may find yourself happier, healthier, and richer! I spend less than I would at fast food, for much tastier AND healthier meals...
2. Sell things! Do you have stuff? Do you have TOO MUCH stuff? Help out your wallet by selling on ebay and craigslist (be careful, only meet in public). This isn't amazingly time efficient, but it gets you some extra dollars, and I personally find having less (useless) material possessions makes me happier, and less likely to spend money on more "stuff".