We actually have a very similar income to you although some of ours is a bit more irregular based on stock options vesting, bonuses, etc. So monthly we bring home 9k which we budget off of and all irregular income (about 26k/yr) gets saved when it comes in. We are also maxing 401ks. I will be the first one to admit that we are not uber frugal (just started looking at this all a few month ago) and I would love to cut more expenses that my beloved is not open to at this point. Similar to your "too much discomfort" certain expenses are worth it to him - they just aren't to me and that is fine. Even so, we are spending markedly less in some areas for what is still pretty lavish living on this forum. I mirrored your categories; here is how we compare. Hopefully it sparks ideas.
-Mtg: 1100
-Groceries: 300/mo I am a bit of a foodie - I know most couples w/o kids on this board hit about $200/mo so we are eating well ;) This category includes household cleaning supplies, tp, etc.
-Restaurants: 300/mo this is also considered quite high on this board. It includes lunches out for husband and occasional (nice) nights out for us. we have room to cut here with the lunches if I can get better about packing them for him.
-Entertainment: $270 including equivalents to you. To breakdown: we budget $50/mo for "entertainment" which includes Netflix, spotify, some other service for husband (can't remember) and extra $ that we use for the rare movie or concert we want to go to. Our internet is $70/mo (Dern Comcast). Since you included alcohol here, we budget $150 a month which includes a bottle of wine for me and lots of craft beer for husband. This is one category I feel is much higher than it needs to be.
-Gifts/charity: 50/mo
-Utilities: $227/mo and includes water/sewer. We have some easy cuts to make here (replacing bulbs with LED, etc.)
-Personal care $75/mo This includes haircuts and drycleaning. I get my haircut 2-3x per year and have stopped coloring. Husband gets haircut every 4wks and not yet open to me doing it. He is also pretty insistent re: dry cleaning. We have room to cut here
-Gas: $160 and we are planning to move next year to cut commutes. Personally, I am hoping to get rid of my car.
-Clothing: This comes out of our "personal spending" budgets and we don't usually use it all and invest overages periodically. I maintain a minimal, high quality wardrobe. We each have 100/mo spending so we will call this even.
-Home maintenance: 200 (garden supplies, mulch, pressure washing, lightbulbs air filters etc) This includes "emergency savings" for us to replace appliances, etc. We (and by we, I mean I) DIY as much as we can.
-Pets: 90/mo for 2 dogs quality food/vets/etc
-Car ins: 117/mo
-Cell: n/a employer paid
-Auto: 75 (tires, oil changes, breaks, registration, inspection and taxes)
-Travel: 500/mo Travel is very important to us, be we do it strategically (flight deals, airbnb etc.) to "save" while exploring all over the world. I never feel like a broke college student when we travel, but we try to be smart.
-Our total comes to 3,664, but we round to 4k in an "over/under/misc fund" and thus invest 5k monthly. Once the over/under fund hits a certain threshold, we invest beyond that. All said and done, our savings rate next year will be around 70% without anything crazy happening.
Hope it gives you things to consider without significant cutbacks. I highly recommend the Mint/YNAB combo to make you more conscious of your spending. We are very lucky to have high incomes that allow lots of room while still achieving a high savings rate. It was important to husband not to feel like we were cutting back, but just bringing awareness to your spending alters it for the better. Researching expenses carefully also yields gains. Really consider your priorities - I don't think our budget fully reflects ours yet. Ultimately, having an end goal in mind can justify some discomforts.