Author Topic: 10X  (Read 10432 times)

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
10X
« on: July 09, 2014, 07:53:44 PM »
I don't understand why I feel so timid about life when I know I'm about 10X times ahead of others around me. It seems like everyone around me think that they are on top of the world and like nothing matters. I'm FI and they are not even close to being debt free but I'm the one who feels paralyzed. How do I stop my worry? I feel like I should be the one on top of the world but it's not even close...I'm the one suffering.

mostlyghostly

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 2
Re: 10X
« Reply #1 on: July 09, 2014, 08:11:06 PM »
In what ways do you feel timid about life? Are you pursuing FI as its own goal? Do you have other goals/hobbies/interests beyond FI?

BZB

  • Bristles
  • ***
  • Posts: 281
  • Location: Houston, Texas
Re: 10X
« Reply #2 on: July 09, 2014, 08:17:23 PM »
Sometimes with knowledge comes humility because you know how much you don't know, but this sounds like more than that. Are your fears about money or something else?

shotgunwilly

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 547
Re: 10X
« Reply #3 on: July 10, 2014, 07:55:32 AM »
Sometimes with knowledge comes humility because you know how much you don't know, but this sounds like more than that. Are your fears about money or something else?

Ignorance really is bliss.

Most people have almost no financial thoughts or worries and just go on putting shit on a credit card.  You're going to have to start working on being happy with your success and being FI and "10X ahead of others."  They APPEAR to have no worries and always be happy, but they are buying temporary happiness with objects or vacations and going into debt or not getting anywhere with it.  Your achievement (being FI and continuing with frugal living and being smart with money) is not as showy as other peoples reckless spending.  Their happiness is an illusion.   

anisotropy

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 681
Re: 10X
« Reply #4 on: July 10, 2014, 08:13:39 AM »
ya it's the same with us. maybe it's survival instincts? lol i dont know.

or perhaps, it's because we have more to lose.

matchewed

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4313
  • Location: CT
Re: 10X
« Reply #5 on: July 10, 2014, 08:38:07 AM »
What are you worrying about? You'll need to dig a bit deeper to find your particular reasons for worrying and address those. You obviously haven't been able to assuage your concerns with the realization of how secure you are. So you need to determine the root cause of your concern and address the root cause.

arebelspy

  • Administrator
  • Senior Mustachian
  • *****
  • Posts: 27662
  • Age: -999
  • Location: Traveling the World
Re: 10X
« Reply #6 on: July 10, 2014, 09:22:13 AM »
I'm not sure what you mean.  Timid about what?  Can you give some examples?
We are two former teachers who accumulated a bunch of real estate, retired at 29, and now travel the world full time with two kids.
If you want to know more about me, or how we did that, or see lots of pictures, this Business Insider profile tells our story pretty well.
We (rarely) blog at AdventuringAlong.com. Check out our Now page to see what we're up to currently.

deborah

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8426
  • Location: Australia or another awesome place
Re: 10X
« Reply #7 on: July 10, 2014, 05:36:55 PM »
You may be FI because you feel that there are bad things around. I know that realising I needed an emergency stash made me rent a small flat when I started work, and made me purchase a much cheaper house than all the people I worked with.

Look at your timidity as a gift, rather than something that is only paralyzing you, and work with it. Seeing the good side of your own characteristics is important - and a very mustashian thing to do.

Breaker

  • Stubble
  • **
  • Posts: 200
Re: 10X
« Reply #8 on: July 10, 2014, 07:08:24 PM »
I don't understand why I feel so timid about life when I know I'm about 10X times ahead of others around me. It seems like everyone around me think that they are on top of the world and like nothing matters. I'm FI and they are not even close to being debt free but I'm the one who feels paralyzed. How do I stop my worry? I feel like I should be the one on top of the world but it's not even close...I'm the one suffering.

First of all congratulations on being FI.  Second don't compare yourself to those around you.  Most of the people I come into contact with seem to have a lot more than I do.  Better paying jobs, bigger homes, bigger cars, more toys, better vacations.   Except for the better paying job most of it is illusion and they are about 3 paychecks away from losing everything else. 

I have some of these same feelings of insecurity where money matters are concerned.  I have been thinking about using something like Mint to help me put things in perspective.  Perhaps if I can see my budget in black and white, it will allow me to be a bit more relaxed about my finances.  If you are not already doing this maybe it would be of help.

Jan


zenyata

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 49
Re: 10X
« Reply #9 on: July 10, 2014, 08:56:33 PM »
I think this is a fairly common feeling among the "aware" or somewhat more "enlightened" - despite the long term benefits that are frequently highlighted by MMM and others here - in the short term, or day to day life, awareness or anything other than complete tunnel vision can be a real burden.  As MMM and others have said on the blog - they work tirelessly to try to spread the word but are under no illusion that they really have any quantifiable impact - we are simply WAY outnumbered, even as the tide does seem to slowly, imperceptibly shift in our direction.

The others that you mention - your peers etc. who seem so cocksure and confident - I have a couple quotes (probably cliche at this point) about that phenomenon - helps me to repeat them to myself every so often, sort of as a mantra:

"It is no measure of health (success) to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society" (Jiddu Krishnamurti)

and

"The whole problem with the world is that fools and fanatics are always so certain of themselves, and wiser people so full of doubts."  (Bertrand Russel)

Exflyboy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6053
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Corvallis, Oregon
  • Expat Brit living in the New World..:)
Re: 10X
« Reply #10 on: July 11, 2014, 05:26:33 AM »
I totally relate to this. I have always been worried about running out of money. My folks were 1 step away from loosing the apartment and job.. iT scared the snot out of me growing up.

Now like you I am FI ($1.4M plus the house a few days back at the market top, plus I get decent pensions that will cover basic living expenses starting in 7 years time)).. But I can't shake the feeling that I could loose everything.. So I keep saving, spending very little etc.

Its hard to take your foot off the gas pedal when you been running at full speed for 30 years..:)

Frank

former player

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 4149
  • Location: Avalon
Re: 10X
« Reply #11 on: July 11, 2014, 06:30:10 AM »
OP: I get you.  (The people whom I really fail to understand are those who have kids when they have no resources behind them at all, just a pile of debt.)  But most of us in the first world have a safety net of sorts from the state, even apart from the resources we gather to ourselves, and for most people things work out reasonably well in the end.

I try to look at life a bit like adventure sport: you think through the dangers, you put the necessary precautions in place (safety equipment, people knowing where you are going) and then you take a deep breath and jump, because the jump is the point of it.  Your personal "jump" might be saying no to an unreasonable request from the boss, a change of job or early retirement rather than free-fall parachuting, but that's all right, because that choice is the freedom we have.

Good luck.


DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #12 on: July 11, 2014, 05:44:49 PM »
Sorry it took so long to write back. When I really take a hard look at my situation; I know I have nothing I should be worried about but still canít figure out why I do it. I think over the last couple of years Iíve been trying to figure out all of my weak areas. Itís kind of like building a castle and thinking maybe now I need a moatÖthen maybe some more guard towersÖthen ďfill in the blankĒ.

I am going through a big life transition where I'm taking about a 60% cut in pay. Fortunately, it is a military pension and my monthly budget is lower than what I will get paid. I feel that Iím set for my transition but I will need to find another job but I can take my time finding one.

Things I worry about:
-   Been in the Military since I was 17; so I donít know Civilian life
-   Iíve never had to apply for a job
-   Iíve always been told what to do and where to go
-   I have all this freedom now but donít have a direction (Nothing pulling me)
-   I have a ton of skills but no Certifications (Only real experience)
-   The closer I get to retirement the more worries I have
-   I only have my income to rely on
-   What if I find a job and itís miserable (I donít want to ruin my permanent record) lol
-   Most entry level jobs want a BS or a couple years of experience (Say what?? Thought it was an entry level job?)
-   Should go back to school to get some hard credentials?
-   What if I canít find a job?
-   What if? What if?

Good news is:
-   Iíll have a pension
-   Debt free (Including House)
-   No Wife or kids (Guess it wasnít in the stars)
-   I have 18 years of Mechanical skills. Pretty much everything: Diesels, Gas, Gas turbines, generators, pneumatics, hydraulics, heating, air conditioning, electronics, and freq converters. (Already been offered a part time job fixing landscaping equipment and might have something lined up at Andrews AFB)
-   Leadership Skills, Supervised over 65 troops
-   3 years as a budget analyst with a $3M operating budget and conduct contract agreements (Iíve seen some good jobs posted for this same position at other bases and the pay is good. Leaning toward this)
-   1 Ĺ years as a Production Superintendent for 62 KC-135ís (Might get me something at an Airport)
-   Six Sigma-Green belt in Military terms
-   Thought about starting a business but I need to work on my business plan
-   I have the post 9/11 GI bill

I donít understand why Iím so worried all the time! I read about the FU stories and I canít imagine ever having that much cojones to do that sort of thing. Even if I had the FU money something deep inside me tells me to keep pressing on or would still worry about getting fired. Why is that??

DoubleDown

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 1989
Re: 10X
« Reply #13 on: July 11, 2014, 05:51:06 PM »
Nords? Are you there? We need you!

<shines Nords bat-signal in the sky>

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #14 on: July 11, 2014, 06:06:03 PM »
Nords? Are you there? We need you!

<shines Nords bat-signal in the sky>

LOL...Classic!

I'm waiting on the "Face punch"...nut up butter cup!
« Last Edit: July 11, 2014, 06:10:12 PM by DollarBill »

deborah

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 8426
  • Location: Australia or another awesome place
Re: 10X
« Reply #15 on: July 11, 2014, 06:06:36 PM »
Sounds like you have an enormous shift in direction - and just about everyone is scared in those circumstances! You are normal!

You seem to have a choice -
  • Do you dive into a completely different life - maybe take a few months as a sabbatical and do all the things you haven't been able to do because you have been told what to do with your life since 17.
  • Do you gradually dip the toes into civilian life by taking one of those jobs at the bases - you'll be surrounded by people who are making the transition and know what the transition is about, as well as the type of people you have always worked with.
  • Or do you do something in between?

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #16 on: July 11, 2014, 06:15:05 PM »
Sounds like you have an enormous shift in direction - and just about everyone is scared in those circumstances! You are normal!

You seem to have a choice -
  • Do you dive into a completely different life - maybe take a few months as a sabbatical and do all the things you haven't been able to do because you have been told what to do with your life since 17.
  • Do you gradually dip the toes into civilian life by taking one of those jobs at the bases - you'll be surrounded by people who are making the transition and know what the transition is about, as well as the type of people you have always worked with.
  • Or do you do something in between?

All of these come to mind. My Yin says take the sabbatical and my Yang says go get that job now while your skills are still fresh.

Glenstache

  • Handlebar Stache
  • *****
  • Posts: 2118
  • Location: Seattle!
  • Target FI date 2027 (maybe?)
Re: 10X
« Reply #17 on: July 11, 2014, 06:36:40 PM »
You are well positioned and will be fine: no facepunch required. It is possible that some of what you are referring to as the timidity isn't so much the nuts and bolts of the situation, but making a big change and the wiring in your brain has to get used to the new configuration and direction. 

For what it is worth, I had similar feelings as a newly minted PhD. The world was my oyster if I was willing to jump in and get going, but I was making a big change in direction in my life at that time: 11 years straight in college with nothing but a carrot on a stick to go after transitioning to starting a career outside of warm cozy of academia. I underestimated the mental impact of that transition at the time, but it is crystal clear in hindsight. Big transitions in life are very challenging, even when the list of facts seems so concrete.

YMMV.

Cheddar Stacker

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3714
  • Age: 40
  • Location: USA
Re: 10X
« Reply #18 on: July 11, 2014, 07:24:15 PM »
DollarBill, no facepunch or nut up buttercup from me. Just congrats on the FI, take a little time to reflect on how far you've come, realize you don't ever have to earn another dime, and relax.

In regards to everyone else around you I'm reminded of a quote I heard here: "big ranch, no cattle". You have all the cattle, remember that.

RapmasterD

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 589
  • Location: SF Peninsula
Re: 10X
« Reply #19 on: July 11, 2014, 07:43:37 PM »
OP -- Compare yourself to yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop playing the 10X game. Word.

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #20 on: July 11, 2014, 08:09:48 PM »
You are well positioned and will be fine: no facepunch required. It is possible that some of what you are referring to as the timidity isn't so much the nuts and bolts of the situation, but making a big change and the wiring in your brain has to get used to the new configuration and direction. 

For what it is worth, I had similar feelings as a newly minted PhD. The world was my oyster if I was willing to jump in and get going, but I was making a big change in direction in my life at that time: 11 years straight in college with nothing but a carrot on a stick to go after transitioning to starting a career outside of warm cozy of academia. I underestimated the mental impact of that transition at the time, but it is crystal clear in hindsight. Big transitions in life are very challenging, even when the list of facts seems so concrete.

YMMV.
I can only imagine how that would feel. Spending all that money and all those years to get your PhD then hoping to land that next job. That does sound scary!

DollarBill, no facepunch or nut up buttercup from me. Just congrats on the FI, take a little time to reflect on how far you've come, realize you don't ever have to earn another dime, and relax.

In regards to everyone else around you I'm reminded of a quote I heard here: "big ranch, no cattle". You have all the cattle, remember that.


Thanks...I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm doing well.

OP -- Compare yourself to yourself. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop playing the 10X game. Word.

I am at fault of comparing myself to others around me. I know we are on different paths and it should get sweeter in time. I figure if I stay at it for another couple of years then I could "FIRE". I do look at it as a means to the end; so I can focus on all the things I've put off. I feel like I should strictly look for a job that I enjoy but steer toward the job that pays well. I could put it on cruise control but want to be free of the rat race.

Ellen

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 31
Re: 10X
« Reply #21 on: July 11, 2014, 08:23:01 PM »
I think the saying is "big hat, no cattle."

OP: You are in very, very good shape, which it sounds like you know on an intellectual level if not an emotional level (you don't feel like you are even though your rational mind knows that you are). As some have alluded, your worries about finances are probably part of what led you to be in the good financial position you are in. Some people are really in denial (and sometimes that works out ;)

Your skill set sounds amazing. I do not think you will have any difficulty finding work with your mechanical abilities and experience.

If you get a job that you don't like, you will think carefully about what you can do to change things, but also set a date at which you can cut your losses and give 2 weeks notice. People do this ALL THE TIME. It's not going to hurt your record.

The no spouse/no kids thing could still change.


Cheddar Stacker

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3714
  • Age: 40
  • Location: USA
Re: 10X
« Reply #22 on: July 11, 2014, 08:44:43 PM »
Thanks for the correction Ellen. I mixed up 2 sayings.

Big hat, no cattle.
Big belt buckle, no ranch.

I think that's right now.?

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #23 on: July 11, 2014, 08:59:36 PM »
I think the saying is "big hat, no cattle."

OP: You are in very, very good shape, which it sounds like you know on an intellectual level if not an emotional level (you don't feel like you are even though your rational mind knows that you are). As some have alluded, your worries about finances are probably part of what led you to be in the good financial position you are in. Some people are really in denial (and sometimes that works out ;)

Your skill set sounds amazing. I do not think you will have any difficulty finding work with your mechanical abilities and experience.

If you get a job that you don't like, you will think carefully about what you can do to change things, but also set a date at which you can cut your losses and give 2 weeks notice. People do this ALL THE TIME. It's not going to hurt your record.

The no spouse/no kids thing could still change.

After reading this I feel I need to start pounding my chest and let out a tarzan yell. I need to keep reminding myself that I have skills. Just wish I had the credentials to back them up. I think most Vets are underrated in the work force. I think most would surprise you of their skills. Give me the chance and I will make shit happen. I've been dealt some pretty shitty hands and turned them around. Lots of good stories!

RapmasterD

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 589
  • Location: SF Peninsula
Re: 10X
« Reply #24 on: July 11, 2014, 09:06:30 PM »
Dude -- I compare myself to other people too. Yeah it's easier to prescribe than it is to follow. But I do it a lot less than I used to.

In essence, cut yourself some slack.

BFGirl

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 710
Re: 10X
« Reply #25 on: July 11, 2014, 09:25:50 PM »
Is it worry for worry sake or your rational brain trying to make a plan?  I find that I tend to try and think of every scenario before making a big change or decision.  I used to think I was just worrying, but have come to realize it is my brain's way of coming to a decision.  Once I make the decision, I am usually good.  I don't usually spend a lot of time just being scared of the future.

Just my 2 cents worth.  I've recently gone through a huge transition in my life and know I will be fine both emotionally and financially, but that doesn't keep my from thinking of possible situations I may need to deal with.  However, I try not to focus on them so much that it impedes living my life.

whitedragon

  • 5 O'Clock Shadow
  • *
  • Posts: 47
Re: 10X
« Reply #26 on: July 13, 2014, 06:13:52 AM »
I am going through a big life transition where I'm taking about a 60% cut in pay. Fortunately, it is a military pension and my monthly budget is lower than what I will get paid. I feel that Iím set for my transition but I will need to find another job but I can take my time finding one.

Do you really need another job?  If you have a big "stache" built up, have decent pension income coming in, and no bills, do you really need another full time "job" to get by?

I think first you really need to have a heart to heart with yourself and decide what it is you really want, and then the picture of what kind of job or income you may need will become more clear.  If you're happy where you are at right now, then why not just start enjoying it! 

Also, as a mechanic, you should easily be able to make it with a little side hustle working at a local mechanic shop or even just fixing cars whenever you feel like, rather than having to actually "work for someone".

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #27 on: July 13, 2014, 10:12:31 AM »
I am going through a big life transition where I'm taking about a 60% cut in pay. Fortunately, it is a military pension and my monthly budget is lower than what I will get paid. I feel that Iím set for my transition but I will need to find another job but I can take my time finding one.

Do you really need another job?  If you have a big "stache" built up, have decent pension income coming in, and no bills, do you really need another full time "job" to get by?

I think first you really need to have a heart to heart with yourself and decide what it is you really want, and then the picture of what kind of job or income you may need will become more clear.  If you're happy where you are at right now, then why not just start enjoying it! 

Also, as a mechanic, you should easily be able to make it with a little side hustle working at a local mechanic shop or even just fixing cars whenever you feel like, rather than having to actually "work for someone".

My stache isn't that big since I put a lot away to pay off the house (About 90K). I'll just let this sit and grow until my later years. I could probably call it quits but it wouldn't leave me much wiggle room for fun stuff or travel.

I do have heart to heart talks with myself and it comes down to get back to the grind and save quickly or find something I enjoy and pace myself.

Nords

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3171
  • Age: 58
  • Location: Oahu
    • Military Retirement & Financial Independence blog
Re: 10X
« Reply #28 on: July 13, 2014, 07:29:45 PM »
Nords? Are you there? We need you!
<shines Nords bat-signal in the sky>
Sorry, I don't check the forum every day.  In fact this week I'm about 400+ threads behind and just clicked the "Mark as read" button. 

I would've seen this thread when I searched for my name, but I clicked on it for its intriguing title!

Sorry it took so long to write back. When I really take a hard look at my situation; I know I have nothing I should be worried about but still canít figure out why I do it. I think over the last couple of years Iíve been trying to figure out all of my weak areas. Itís kind of like building a castle and thinking maybe now I need a moatÖthen maybe some more guard towersÖthen ďfill in the blankĒ.

I am going through a big life transition where I'm taking about a 60% cut in pay. Fortunately, it is a military pension and my monthly budget is lower than what I will get paid. I feel that Iím set for my transition but I will need to find another job but I can take my time finding one.

Things I worry about:
-   Been in the Military since I was 17; so I donít know Civilian life
-   Iíve never had to apply for a job
-   Iíve always been told what to do and where to go
-   I have all this freedom now but donít have a direction (Nothing pulling me)
-   I have a ton of skills but no Certifications (Only real experience)
-   The closer I get to retirement the more worries I have
-   I only have my income to rely on
-   What if I find a job and itís miserable (I donít want to ruin my permanent record) lol
-   Most entry level jobs want a BS or a couple years of experience (Say what?? Thought it was an entry level job?)
-   Should go back to school to get some hard credentials?
-   What if I canít find a job?
-   What if? What if?

Good news is:
-   Iíll have a pension
-   Debt free (Including House)
-   No Wife or kids (Guess it wasnít in the stars)
-   I have 18 years of Mechanical skills. Pretty much everything: Diesels, Gas, Gas turbines, generators, pneumatics, hydraulics, heating, air conditioning, electronics, and freq converters. (Already been offered a part time job fixing landscaping equipment and might have something lined up at Andrews AFB)
-   Leadership Skills, Supervised over 65 troops
-   3 years as a budget analyst with a $3M operating budget and conduct contract agreements (Iíve seen some good jobs posted for this same position at other bases and the pay is good. Leaning toward this)
-   1 Ĺ years as a Production Superintendent for 62 KC-135ís (Might get me something at an Airport)
-   Six Sigma-Green belt in Military terms
-   Thought about starting a business but I need to work on my business plan
-   I have the post 9/11 GI bill

I donít understand why Iím so worried all the time! I read about the FU stories and I canít imagine ever having that much cojones to do that sort of thing. Even if I had the FU money something deep inside me tells me to keep pressing on or would still worry about getting fired. Why is that??
All of these feelings are perfectly normal. 

In fact after 12 years of retirement I still regularly (every few months) dream the nightmare where the Navy notifies me that there's a problem with my records and I have to go back on active duty for a few years.  Of course those nightmares are mild compared to the ones where the U.S. Naval Academy audits my conduct record and recalls me to finish serving out the rest of my restriction marching & musters-- and I escaped from there over 32 years ago.  But I digress.

Your "worst case" scenario is the one where nobody ever wants to employ you or even talk to you, and yet even in that scenario:  [your income] > [your expenses].  You could live just about anywhere in the world, in a RetireEarlyLifestyle.com manner, and never work again.

You may already have figured out what I'm writing in the next few paragraphs, so I apologize if I'm preaching to the choir.  But the rest of this post may turn on a lightbulb in a few lurkers, so I'll write it at the risk of repeating what you may have already read. 

You will never know civilian life.  I'm not even sure what that means.  The habits and behaviors you spent over half your life acquiring will serve you well after the military.  You'll still run your life pretty much the same way you do in uniform, but you just won't have to shave so much.  You'll have a lot fewer rules to follow, too, and you could really let yourself go, but you won't because your personal (internalized) standards are too high.  I know that police officers, medical professionals, university professors, and high-ranking government officials feel the same way about being a "civilian" without access to the same lifestyle and camaraderie that they used to enjoy-- along with all of its stress, deprivations, and frustrations. 

The fact is that most "civilians" envy the fact that you belonged to a "life" with purpose and mission and structure and rules and hierarchy and roles where you always knew who to be and where to go and what to do.  They think you sit around on your assets all day ordering people to do stuff, and that you have no idea how to do anything for yourself.  Some of them think that you don't even know what to do when someone says "No" to you-- except beat them up or put them on report.  But what they don't understand is that you can tap into the people's internal motivations which will make them want to do the things that need doing, and you'll never even get the "No" word.

If you miss your life in uniform (or don't like what passes for civilian life) then eventually (almost subconsciously) you'll seek out your kind and join another tribe.  You'll become a member of a veteran's group or you'll take a job with a company that's at least 50% military veterans or you'll join a non-profit filled with military retirees.  You may fit in with groups where there's sports coaching, particularly (excuse the irony) martial arts.  Or you'll find a new identity with another tribe like "surfer" or "personal finance blogger".

One of the reasons that nobody has offered you a job yet is because you may not have put yourself out there for a full-power run of networking and resumes and interviews and a definite start date.  Other employers won't even contact you until 181 days after you're retired (especially civil service and defense contractors) because of the military's ethics regulations.  All of that stuff is on Linkedin when you give a crap about it you're ready.  It may be tedious or even discouraging but it's not complex and it's not hard.  You'll simply have to spend a lot of time finding out about the things you don't want to do (from people who won't seem to ever say "Yes!") until one day it all comes together with ridiculous ease.

About that experience and those credentials:  take a look at your military base's college support office-- the one where they have "skills assessments" and "interest surveys" and "discovery software".  Your service's website (the one behind the CAC login) will also have a module that goes through your service record to interpret your billets, ranks, and training certificates to their civilian equivalent.  In Pearl Harbor it was the "Navy Campus" building and the website (which was already tapped into your service record) translated your experience into college credits and degrees.  (Back in 2001 the urban legend was that an E-7 with 22 years of experience found out that his record was the equivalent of two bachelor's degrees and a program manager certification.)  When I was in uniform I thought CLEP was a military program, but it's a national labor education program.  Your base's education services office can guide you toward the CLEP exams and more certifications than you'll even care to have-- let alone resume bullets.

One of your job-search challenges may be that you're more suited for running a business than being employed by one.  I've read literally hundreds of business plans over the last seven years, and most of them are boilerplate Word documents filled with crap.  The good business plans fit on one side of a piece of 8.5"x11" paper with big margins.  The outstanding ones fit on a paper napkin.  Read Chris Guillebeau's "$100 Startup" and check out the veteran's entrepreneurial resources in the Google doc at this post:
http://the-military-guide.com/2013/07/25/entrepreneur-resources-for-veterans/
Your skill set screams "facility manager", "repair service", and "support contractor".  If you were in Pearl Harbor then you'd be running the operations & maintenance of the submarine training center's simulators & trainers-- including the tactics computers, the firefighting trainer, and the damage control (flooding) trainer.  The aviation equivalent would be a career at FlightSafety International.  If you wanted to build a website then you'd be the FixItNow.com Samurai Appliance Repair guy... you probably can't tell that he used to be a Navy aviation electronics technician.

Do not suffer from the "military inferiority complex".  Frankly the worst problem you'll have to solve will be finding the people who want to work with you, and they're probably already lurking a few months down the road into your retirement waiting to pounce on you.

Right now your biggest "problem" is having some time off to relax and rejuvenate.  Take a few months, take a year, maybe take two.  You will not go stale and you will not lose all of your "contacts" in your "network".  You could spend three hours a day updating your Linkedin profile and joining Linkedin groups and reading books and blogs and forums.  Take a break during your terminal leave-- you've earned it-- and then you can take the rest of your life a few years at a time. 

I particularly recommend this blog post:
http://the-military-guide.com/2011/01/06/the-fog-of-work/
and then you can browse the archive posts between January - April 2011 starting here: 
http://the-military-guide.com/2011/01/
Those posts are mostly chapters 8 & 9 from the book, but you'll have to read the library copy (or pony up for a Kindle version) to read the personal stories that are part of the book.

Here's an example of being in the civilian world:  last Friday I was at an investment lunch of ~30 people who I've known for at least five years.  One of them, Jay, knows me very well from our families socializing together.   As the lunch meeting was breaking up I was introduced to a guest named Nathan, who pointed out that we already knew each other.  He's a Navy veteran and a submariner who was at my final training command as a student (for about six weeks) and later as an instructor (a year).  Although Nathan and I worked  mostly in different buildings with different jobs and groups, we already had a shared trauma background.  He left the service about a year after I retired and we haven't seen each other in over a decade.  Jay was standing next to us as we spent five minutes catching up on that decade and then started swapping sea stories and shipmate names.  This went on for at least 20 minutes.

As Nathan and I parted (with more conversations to come in the next few months), I realized that Jay had probably seen me "light up" in a way that civilians rarely see me do.  I was with a guy who shared my background, experiences, and three-letter acronyms.  We immediately bonded.  He's spent most of the last decade pursuing a corporate career, which he really didn't care for.  Now he's come up with a brilliantly simple civil-engineering idea that can easily be designed in to new-construction homes or be retrofitted to existing properties. 

He was "only" in the Navy for seven years, so technically he's a civilian.  But more importantly, he's a military veteran.  I know already that he has a leg up on at least 80% of the other entrepreneurs I've met over the years.  He's using his military skills (persistence, initiative, motivation) to turn an interesting idea into a business.  I know what he could accomplish when he was in uniform, and I'm really going to enjoy watching what he does with his startup.
« Last Edit: July 13, 2014, 07:33:01 PM by Nords »

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #29 on: July 15, 2014, 05:41:27 PM »
Thanks Nords, once again you steadied my ship! Starting my terminal leave this weekend :). I think I've planned well for the transition. I'll keep an eye on my budget; work on the VA side of things and get my resume out there. I'm hoping I'll get picked up as a budget analyst in a good area.

Exflyboy

  • Walrus Stache
  • *******
  • Posts: 6053
  • Age: 57
  • Location: Corvallis, Oregon
  • Expat Brit living in the New World..:)
Re: 10X
« Reply #30 on: July 15, 2014, 06:09:54 PM »
Nords, that is a seriously great post I really enjoyed reading it.. Most insightful!

Frank

Nords

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3171
  • Age: 58
  • Location: Oahu
    • Military Retirement & Financial Independence blog
Re: 10X
« Reply #31 on: July 15, 2014, 06:17:39 PM »
Thanks Nords, once again you steadied my ship! Starting my terminal leave this weekend :).
Congratulations again!  And in that case you should consider adding "afternoon naps" to your checklist for a few months... I was surprised at how chronically fatigued I was during my terminal leave, and the fog didn't start to clear for nearly a month.

I don't know how the ethics rules and sequestration will affect your hiring as a budget analyst.  The conventional way to figure out these issues is to set up an "informational interview" (cup of coffee or buying lunch) with someone in the office where you'd want to work.  You already know what you can do, and they'll be able to advise you on the hiring climate and the other rules.

Nords, that is a seriously great post I really enjoyed reading it.. Most insightful!
Thanks! 

In a few weeks it'll probably turn into a blog post, too!

DollarBill

  • Pencil Stache
  • ****
  • Posts: 902
  • Age: 44
  • Location: Austin TX
Re: 10X
« Reply #32 on: July 15, 2014, 07:49:57 PM »
Quote
In a few weeks it'll probably turn into a blog post, too!
I think this would be a great post. I just went through TAPS class last week and I felt timid half way through it but finished with thoughts of all the things I've experienced/accomplished throughout my career. I think if everyone leaving the military concentrates on that they will feel more empowered. We had the ability to work with amazing people and amazing equipment...well above the civilian field. We just have to put it into words on a resume that everyone else can understand. 

Nords

  • Magnum Stache
  • ******
  • Posts: 3171
  • Age: 58
  • Location: Oahu
    • Military Retirement & Financial Independence blog
Re: 10X
« Reply #33 on: July 15, 2014, 08:12:31 PM »
Quote
In a few weeks it'll probably turn into a blog post, too!
I think this would be a great post. I just went through TAPS class last week and I felt timid half way through it but finished with thoughts of all the things I've experienced/accomplished throughout my career. I think if everyone leaving the military concentrates on that they will feel more empowered. We had the ability to work with amazing people and amazing equipment...well above the civilian field. We just have to put it into words on a resume that everyone else can understand.
It's been 14 years since I attended TAP, but I can still remember the motivational career-search speech given by Jim McGurk (Sergeant Major USMC Retired).  Half of it was the theme of always being ready for an opportunity because you'll never know when they'll show up-- and his punchline was "May I present:  my card."  We still joke about his delivery, but it really drove home the point.  It was the final talk of the TAP and we burst out of the building into the parking lot, ready to take on the world and tackle the first job we could find.

"Luckily" I had to go back to the command next day to get back to work, where I found an IN box full of paperwork and a couple hundred "immediate" e-mails clamoring for my attention.  Job motivation dies out pretty quickly when you can afford to not go to work.