Hi tikimama! I recognize you from elsewhere on the web, so I kind of feel like I know you (in that weird internet-y way). I do recall your in-home tiki bar, and I can see how it would be easy to subsidize friends' drinking.
I think you have the opportunity to make a lot of really big improvements without changing too much. Definitely changes, don't get me wrong, but I think you have some real low hanging fruit.
So. Were I you, I would:
1. Cancel/reduce everything you can. Tivo, cable, internet, alarm, all that stuff. Add it all together, and then set up automatic savings in that amount. You can do an automatic deposit from your paycheck or an automated savings transfer. You know you can get by without that money - you're already spending it.
2. Stop going to Walgreens if that amount is pretty common. I have the same issue with Target - my money just disappears there, somehow. When I don't go, I don't miss anything, but if I do, suddenly I'm out several hundred dollars a month (on things we ostensibly "need").
3. Lunches. So much money. I know how easy it is to let that slide, but I found that seriously packing my lunch after dinner every night (leftovers) and having it completely ready to go in the morning really helped. I had to get more tupperware to make that happen. But if I think I'm going to put something together in the morning, I may as well just resign myself to a lunch out. I won't do it.
4. There are tons of threads about cutting your food bill, so I won't get too much into that. Know that you can do it, especially if you're already cooking so much at home. I was the same way - I cooked a lot, but somehow that didn't translate into a lower overall food bill. I was really just making a meal plan and buying whatever I wanted/needed. I got our bill down a significant amount by really thinking about what we were going to have for meals, and what that meant cost-wise. We still eat really really well (if I do say so myself), but we're having the more expensive stuff less frequently. No one's complaining.
5. Budgeting software. I'm a fan of YNAB, although I haven't tried their new version. Having to enter every single purchase on my phone makes me pay attention to my spending. And I really like YNAB specifically for how it has you think about your expenses.
6. Set a goal. Pick a debt and pay it off, then roll that into your next debt. Many people will dither about what to pay down first, but honestly, I don't think it matters that much, as long as you start working towards one. Keep that money from #1 going into savings for your emergency fund. And set a non-debt goal. Save for something a bit bigger - something for the bar? The house?
7. Talk to your friends about the bar. Explain that you love having them over, but that it's getting really expensive. Can they bring a 6 pack each time? Or a bottle of something to contribute to the bar? Or even just $5-10? I know I wouldn't begrudge a friend that, especially because it means I get to hang out with friends, not at an expensive bar, and I don't have to clean up my house.
That was kind of a lot. Maybe don't tackle every single thing at once, but pick a couple. I know that so much of your spending feels fixed, with the mortgage and daycare, but you have so much room to maneuver with everything else. You can do it!