Author Topic: Career break for my wife. What would you do?  (Read 1172 times)

Bob123

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Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« on: March 13, 2019, 07:01:03 PM »
Hello team,
Need some outside perspective for our current situation.

We're a married couple, around 30 yo, no kids, living in Canada.
Through high earnings, side income and frugal living (70% saving rate), we were able to achieve $400k in invested assets and a paid off condo (total NW around $550k).

The situation is that my wife is tired of her job (accountant) because she has been working there for almost 6 years, doing basically the same things month to month. The company has grown from 5 to around 30 people during this time, so she has much more load now. Her boss doesn't want to hire any help for her though motivating this decision by stating that my wife only works 36-37 hours per week now. My wife would prefer to work around 20-24 hours per week eventually, and she told her boss about it, but the boss kind of ignored it for now.

She has a good salary, and is always praised for her work and contributions to the company (she has been taking care of the whole financial side of the business for almost 6 years). The negative side of this is that she couldn't take a vacation longer than 1.5 weeks for all these years, somebody needs to keep billing and doing payroll (show must go on). And she has constant stress of having to work super hard to finish everything on time.

We have been planning to visit our home country for 2-3 months, and then maybe slow travelling the world for a month or two at a time (returning to Canada in between). All these plans are not achievable with her current job as she can't perform her work remotely. On the other hand, I work remotely most of the time (have to go to the office only every couple weeks for meetings) and my company is ok with me travelling extensively.

Our current expenses can be covered by our side income (35% of our basic expenses) and investments (65%). In addition to that, I don't plan to leave my job for quite some time, as I love it and I earn twice as much as my wife.

What's the problem, you ask?
My wife is afraid that if she leaves her job, and then something goes wrong financially and she will have to search for a new job, and it will be worse than her current one (probably less pay, worse overall conditions), and it will be even more stress, etc. Basically, unknown is scary.

To be honest, travelling the world is mostly my goal, I just see that she's not happy with her job right now, and think why not leave it and take a break for quite some time. She is not as excited about travelling as I am, but she enjoys it.

Maybe she will even get pregnant during this break, as we're working on it now. If she gets pregnant in the next couple months, then she will be eligible for the full maternity and parental benefits (max $25k over 1.5 years). If she gets pregnant later than 5 months after she leaves her job, then she won't receive any. Of course, you can't really plan whether you get pregnant or not, and when it happens. So, she worries a bit about these benefits, but I try to tell her that $25k over 1.5 years is not that much taking into account our current financial situation.

If she takes this career break then she can help me work on our side business to grow it.

Update:
Another thing I forgot to mention is that she's afraid that she will feel useless without a job and not contributing income to our family finances while I'm working.
/Update

I thought maybe some outside perspective will help her decide.

Thank you!
I've been a part of MMM forums since 2015 with my main account, you guys are the best source of wisdom on the internet.
« Last Edit: March 13, 2019, 07:16:18 PM by Bob123 »

seemsright

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #1 on: March 13, 2019, 07:05:59 PM »
I say she leaves. There is much more to life than working a job that stresses a person out.

This is not a question of does she stay or leave. It is more what do you two want your lifestyle to be and reverse engineer it to figure out the perfect combo.

Bob123

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #2 on: March 13, 2019, 07:15:23 PM »
Update:
Another thing I forgot to mention is that she's afraid that she will feel useless without a job and not contributing income to our family finances while I'm working.

Freedomin5

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #3 on: March 13, 2019, 07:28:08 PM »
Does your wife enjoy accounting and want to keep working?

If yes, then there is no harm in her looking for another job, preferably a part time one if she only wants to work 20-24 hours per week and/or one in which she can work from home.

Does she want to help grow the side business, or is that what you want her to do? If she wants to dedicate her time to the side business, then that is another viable option.

As a woman, I get the desire to want to keep working and be independent rather than be fully financially dependent on my DH (even though is absolutely fabulous and would never divorce me). Accidents/medical emergencies happen, and I may be left on my own. It’s just that sense of security knowing that I could support myself if anything were to happen. I would never want to put myself in a situation where I am on my own with outdated skills, unable to get a job because I’ve been out of the workforce for too long. 

Finally, sometimes the marital dynamics change when one is the earner and the other is the “spender”. It is really easy for the earner to feel resentful towards the non-earner for “spending all their money” while “doing nothing at home”. I would say, listen to your wife, ask her what options she is thinking about, and let her decide what option to pursue rather than trying to solve her problems for her.

seemsright

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #4 on: March 13, 2019, 07:33:16 PM »
Update:
Another thing I forgot to mention is that she's afraid that she will feel useless without a job and not contributing income to our family finances while I'm working.

Side note I stay at home. We have a 8 year old.

I can promise you having the support at home taking care of the annoying adult things will allow you to fly doing your job and have the $$$ that comes along with that.

With me home my DH flat out says he would not have to promotions he has. Without me home DD would have not skipped a grade. She is now in 4th grade and is doing 5th grade math.

Having a spouse at home is a luxury!

If she does decide to quit her job she will have a hard transition. I did it was a hell of a ride. But I am a stronger person because of it. It is not all bubble gum and roses but DH and I are a complete and our partnership is stronger than ever. We will be FI in a year or two. It is one hell of a ride. I am strong voice for having a spouse at home it is about the quality of life. Knowing that we could take off in a heart beat is pretty awesome.

Bob123

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #5 on: March 13, 2019, 07:56:04 PM »
Does your wife enjoy accounting and want to keep working?

If yes, then there is no harm in her looking for another job, preferably a part time one if she only wants to work 20-24 hours per week and/or one in which she can work from home.

Does she want to help grow the side business, or is that what you want her to do? If she wants to dedicate her time to the side business, then that is another viable option.

As a woman, I get the desire to want to keep working and be independent rather than be fully financially dependent on my DH (even though is absolutely fabulous and would never divorce me). Accidents/medical emergencies happen, and I may be left on my own. It’s just that sense of security knowing that I could support myself if anything were to happen. I would never want to put myself in a situation where I am on my own with outdated skills, unable to get a job because I’ve been out of the workforce for too long. 

Finally, sometimes the marital dynamics change when one is the earner and the other is the “spender”. It is really easy for the earner to feel resentful towards the non-earner for “spending all their money” while “doing nothing at home”. I would say, listen to your wife, ask her what options she is thinking about, and let her decide what option to pursue rather than trying to solve her problems for her.

She's actually sitting near me when I'm typing this, and we started this topic together.
She says that if she gets pregnant then she would definitely leave her work, and be a stay at home mom at least for several years. It's just we don't have children now and you can't predict when (if ever) they will happen. Travelling the world is mostly my dream, but visiting home country for 2-3 months is what she does want as she has some dear family members back there.

She doesn't want to look for another job right now because she already has one, and we want to travel, and there's really no urgent need for it now.

She's not opposed to working on our side business, it's just she's not sure that she can do it well and that she will enjoy it. Although it can take really little time.

Quote
easy for the earner to feel resentful towards the non-earner for “spending all their money” while “doing nothing at home”.

Yes, she has these fears too

If she does decide to quit her job she will have a hard transition. I did it was a hell of a ride.

Why was it hard for you?

Bob123

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #6 on: March 13, 2019, 08:08:23 PM »
She says that she would probably be happy with a one-year sabbatical.
The problem is that her work will have to hire somebody to do her job for this time.
And my wife doesn't want to promise that she will be back in a year because we plan to have children.

Or maybe having her work to let her work remotely for 1-2 months every 6 months so we can slow travel.
It's not possible without her job hiring an additional accountant as not everything can be done remotely.

seemsright

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #7 on: March 13, 2019, 08:17:20 PM »


If she does decide to quit her job she will have a hard transition. I did it was a hell of a ride.

Why was it hard for you?
[/quote]

I felt like I was not doing anything of value. I was a buyer before we had our DD. I was playing with millions of dollars a day worth of product on two continents. I was also working 60 hours a week. It was stressful and so much fun. I went from that to holding a sleeping baby all day long. It took me a very long time to see that what I was doing at home was value. It was as my DH was going up the ranks and our daughter was showing signs of not being typical was when I saw my value. And what took the cake was when I decided that DD was not typical and to figure out why...it turns out she is gifted. I then started to fight the school district and was able to get her to skip 1st grade. This flat out would have not happened if I was working. It took an amazing amount of time with outside testing and meeting after meeting with the school district. This is when I saw my value. I no longer need to leave the house to earn a paycheck. I use my time while DD is in school doing small things that allow us to get to the next level. Things like making bread and cooking from scratch. Taking care of the objects we have so they can last as long as possible. Now I enjoy being home and could never see myself working for a boss again. I am also working on a few side projects and maybe one day they will be something and if not it wont be the end of the world.




Freedomin5

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #8 on: March 13, 2019, 10:09:52 PM »
If the job were more manageable, it sounds like your wife would be more inclined to stay and would be less stressed.

One of the things I learned on my job is that the more efficient I am, the more tasks I will have assigned to me. As long as my manager sees that I am not falling apart from the strain and that everything is done when it is supposed to be done, and things are done well, there is no incentive for them to spend money hiring a second person. It's when things start to fall apart, and invoices/pay roll are not paid on time, that management starts to feel like they need to do something different.

It's one of the downfalls of being a capable person, and it sounds like your wife is an emminently capable person.

Is it at all possible for your wife to work within her job description, to only work her prescribed hours, and then to let management know what work is not possible to complete within the given timeframes, instead of rushing and working over time to complete everything?


In addition, another reason for applying for another job is that you can use it as leverage at your current workplace. You should never be applying for a job when you don't have a job. The best time to apply for a job is when you already have one. That way you feel less stuck. Psychologically, you know that you have options if things become untenable. It gives you a feeling of power and freedom. However, in your case, if you're working on getting pregnant and traveling, you may just want to leave things as is, and just find ways to scale back what you're doing so that the boss clearly sees that additional help is needed.

WalkaboutStache

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2019, 10:40:59 PM »
Consider reframing this around the issues you two have pointed out:

•   She wants to feel useful and that she is earning her keep
•   She can work on your side gig
•   She does not know if she would really like that

Instead of thinking about it as her leaving her current job, you could reframe this as her stepping out to grow the side gig on a trial basis.  She will not have an employment gap, and will have the challenge and satisfaction of working, plus the flexibility to travel and control her schedule better.  She may not like the gig itself, but maybe she will, and her baseline right now is not liking what she is doing anyway (or at least the circumstances under which she is doing it).  If the side gig works, great; if it doesn’t, you two will have done a bit of travelling and she will have stayed job market sharp. 

An upside of this is that if she tells her boss she is leaving and why, he may very well see the light and put her on a part time schedule as she asked before.

Can bad stuff happen?  Sure!  But consider this:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/10/03/the-practical-benefits-of-outrageous-optimism/

You guys are on the right path, live in a great country, and have a lot of life ahead of you (it seems).  My only parting thought is get off the interwebs and go work on that baby-making endeavor. But be careful: if memory serves, I believe there are bees involved.

elliha

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2019, 04:16:19 AM »
Consider reframing this around the issues you two have pointed out:

•   She wants to feel useful and that she is earning her keep
•   She can work on your side gig
•   She does not know if she would really like that

Instead of thinking about it as her leaving her current job, you could reframe this as her stepping out to grow the side gig on a trial basis.  She will not have an employment gap, and will have the challenge and satisfaction of working, plus the flexibility to travel and control her schedule better.  She may not like the gig itself, but maybe she will, and her baseline right now is not liking what she is doing anyway (or at least the circumstances under which she is doing it).  If the side gig works, great; if it doesn’t, you two will have done a bit of travelling and she will have stayed job market sharp. 

An upside of this is that if she tells her boss she is leaving and why, he may very well see the light and put her on a part time schedule as she asked before.

Can bad stuff happen?  Sure!  But consider this:

http://www.mrmoneymustache.com/2012/10/03/the-practical-benefits-of-outrageous-optimism/

You guys are on the right path, live in a great country, and have a lot of life ahead of you (it seems).  My only parting thought is get off the interwebs and go work on that baby-making endeavor. But be careful: if memory serves, I believe there are bees involved.

This seems like very solid advice to me. Either this or her keeping the job until she is pregnant and can get her benefits so she can feel more at ease about leaving. Yes, pregnancies don't always follow a time line but they do sometimes happen quite quickly. I got pregnant 3 months and 1 month after we decided to try for a baby so it may not be as impossible as it sounds.

Malkynn

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2019, 04:46:49 AM »
Literally everything about your situation is great except that she isn't enjoying her job.

She's staying in a job she *knows* she isn't very happy with because she's vaguely afraid of what the alternatives are.

Well, the alternatives are *possibly* worse than her current job, but highly likely better than her current job because her alternatives all consist of *doing whatever she wants to do*.

So, it's certifiably nuts for her to take the guaranteed risk of staying in her current job vs trying new things. If she tries a new thing and doesn't like it, she can always try something else new.

I get it, change is scary, especially when you aren't happy.
It's kind of a funny thing. People tend to really fear the unknown at the times when the unknown is by far their best option, ie: when they are unhappy.

Those of us who are happy and mellow in our lives tend not to fear the unknown. I used to when I was miserable, and it kept me in a brutal job for a good year longer than I should have stayed, but now...man, you could tell me that it's guaranteed that I'll not be in this job next year and I would be fine with it. I LOVE my current job, but I'm not at all afraid of change anymore. Sure, things can and will get worse and I deal with them and make more changes as needed.

Once you have decent financial security, change is no big deal. You just do it as needed.

So ironically, it's BECAUSE she should leave her job that she feels afraid to leave her job. She's like a rescue dog who is terrified to leave their cage.

Looking at your financials. Wow. Yeah, you are golden.
You could live off of the side hustle income alone and just leave that 'stache to grow and you would still be fine. You are in amazing shape.
You do not need her possible mat leave income either. You two are now at a point that more money isn't always worth it. You need to carefully examine the trade offs to get it.

So, OP if your wife is reading this, this is for her:
...ahem... I apologize in advance for the swearing...

THERE IS NO FUCKING EXCUSE FOR YOU TO STAY ONE MORE SECOND IN A JOB THAT ISN'T MAKING YOU ECSTATICALLY HAPPY!

NO ONE IS KEEPING YOU THERE BUT YOURSELF. YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON STANDING IN THE WAY OF YOU LIVING YOUR BEST LIFE.

MOST PEOPLE UNHAPPY IN THEIR JOBS WOULD KILL TO BE IN YOUR POSITION, SO DON'T WASTE IT.

WHOSE JOB DO YOU THINK IT IS TO MAKE YOUR LIFE A GOOD ONE????

Alrighty!
That's just my opinion, feel free to ignore it if it doesn't resonate with you, but if it does, then FFS, do something about it.

Linda_Norway

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2019, 05:33:03 AM »
Working in a job where you never can take a decent vacation because they need you all the time, is horrible and no one deserve that. She should either search for another job right now, or just resign from the current job and hope that they will offer a contract with better conditions (part time work, 2-3 sabbatical and after that longer vacations).
That money to be paid from the current employer for pregnancy/maternity are only golden handcuffs.

In general, I think your wife need that long vacation to restore mentally and physically from this current position. That might help with getting pregnant as well, as I think that being under high stress might make conceiving more difficult.

I think she should resign her job now, go on that sabbatical, try to get pregnant and go work on that side-hustle. And then take it from there, either continue to work on the side-gig or finding a part time job. She should not feel guilty about not bringing an income into the household for some time. She has done her fair share and needs a break right now.

mozar

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2019, 10:06:32 AM »
If I were her I would quit and study for the CPA test which in the USA takes up to 18 months to complete. That would improve her job security greatly. She could even do remote contract work with it.

Bob123

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2019, 10:38:50 AM »
You could live off of the side hustle income alone and just leave that 'stache to grow and you would still be fine

We can't live off our side income. It only brings around 35% of our basic expenses (without travel).
We can live off our side income + 4% rule off investments, but that is not needed as I do not plan to leave my job.

Losing my wife's income means that on average we will be able to save "only" $5-6k per month, not our usual $9k. Travel will change things a bit.

If I were her I would quit and study for the CPA test which in the USA takes up to 18 months to complete. That would improve her job security greatly. She could even do remote contract work with it.

She doesn't want that path as CPA is only needed for more "serious" jobs with much more responsibility, and she is not that ambitious at all and prefers working part-time. She will also have to take 2 more years to get a Bachelor's Degree (she has a diploma now).

I do call her "accidental CFO", as she started as a simple bookkeeper in a 5-person company, and now takes care of everything financial in a 30-person company.

Malkynn

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2019, 11:20:08 AM »
^oops

I misread your OP as your side hustle generating 35% of your income, not expenses. My mistake.

K-ice

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2019, 11:41:50 AM »
(she has a diploma now).

I do call her "accidental CFO", as she started as a simple bookkeeper in a 5-person company, and now takes care of everything financial in a 30-person company.

I think this does make a job hunt a bit more challenging as she may not have the paper credentials to find an equivalent position in another company.

A great move would be if she could hire a part time bookkeeper within the company so that she can go down 0.6 to 0.8 and this new person can be a 0.2 to 0.4.

She needs a good argument with her boss that this person would be a necessary redundancy in the growing company. Overall, if she is willing to take a bit of a pay cut in exchange for more time off, this second person may cost the company less.   

Or perhaps with the workload the growing company really needs is two 0.6 bookkeepers anyway.

She is the financial brains in the company, work on a way to spin this so it is a win win for everyone.


Bob123

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2019, 12:09:17 PM »
Quote
I think this does make a job hunt a bit more challenging as she may not have the paper credentials to find an equivalent position in another company.

She doesn't need or want an equivalent position. She would be happy with less workload and stress. She doesn't want to look for a new job when we're planning to have kids in the near future.

Quote
A great move would be if she could hire a part time bookkeeper within the company so that she can go down 0.6 to 0.8 and this new person can be a 0.2 to 0.4.

She actually discussed this move with her boss, hiring another person and then she could go part time to 20h/week. This request was ignored, and then she didn't bring it up back as she doesn't want to be difficult. As was stated before by other posters, she thinks that they won't hire more people until she starts clocking overtime or not doing all of her job. Her stress level or inability to take a normal vacation without incurring massive backlog (nobody will do her job when she's away) not worries her boss.

Her boss is ok for my wife to take a long vacation now (1 month) but only in specific dates, and the boss is expecting that my wife will be able to complete 2 months work before and right after the vacation. Nobody will do her job when she's away.
My wife is worried that this will cause cashflow problems to the company, the boss doesn't think about it at all.

Quote
She is the financial brains in the company, work on a way to spin this so it is a win win for everyone.

Yeah, I tell her that if she states that she can only work remotely and part-time because of travel plans then her boss will try to keep her at least in some part in the company. My wife is too humble to believe it :)

Dogastrophe

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2019, 12:10:28 PM »
If I were her I would quit and study for the CPA test which in the USA takes up to 18 months to complete. That would improve her job security greatly. She could even do remote contract work with it.

In Canada, the CPA (which is a recent amalgamation of the three legacy accounting bodies: CA, CMA, CGA) is a part time professional program that requires applicable work experience to receive the designation.  Assuming all the required accounting courses have been taken, it is a two year program (3 year if prep program required).  In case of OP's wife, she would also need a bachelors degree (though not necessarily in accounting), which would tack on a few more years.   It is not a 'study and write exam' program.
« Last Edit: March 14, 2019, 12:14:01 PM by Dogastrophe »

Dogastrophe

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2019, 12:21:28 PM »
If she enjoys the book keeping / accounting field, there are often plenty of companies in search of part time financial help (depending on the size of city you are in).  Many of these companies are too small for a full time person but too big for the owner to try and do it all themselves.  Another option is to find short term contract work covering Mat Leave or sick leave.

mozar

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2019, 01:35:56 PM »
Ok, I didn't know that in Canada you have to be physically present to study for the test. That sounds easier than here actually. To have an actual program everyone has to go through.

I think the bigger issue though is that the wife is not that ambitious (so isn't willing to study more), wants to stay home with children for a few years, and also have financial security on her own. Those things don't go together. Taking a few years off is going to ding her career no matter what. So she should think more deeply about why she's dragging her feet about quitting.
Assuming she does take 5 years off, what is she going to do then? Job options for people without bachelors degrees are shrinking not expanding. And accounting is being automated. There might be a few jobs left for an un ambitious accountant 5 year from now. But I wouldn't count on it.

I remember a few months ago there was a post from someone who had been a stay at home for 5 years and was complaining that her experience from before as an admin wasn't getting her any job interviews. Well, that's what happens. Sure it's sad that parenting isn't considered a job skill but that's not the world we live in.

Last thing: I can only speculate as to what's going on with your wife. She's going to have to post herself if she wants better advice.

Laura33

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2019, 01:57:16 PM »
Quote
A great move would be if she could hire a part time bookkeeper within the company so that she can go down 0.6 to 0.8 and this new person can be a 0.2 to 0.4.

She actually discussed this move with her boss, hiring another person and then she could go part time to 20h/week. This request was ignored, and then she didn't bring it up back as she doesn't want to be difficult. As was stated before by other posters, she thinks that they won't hire more people until she starts clocking overtime or not doing all of her job. Her stress level or inability to take a normal vacation without incurring massive backlog (nobody will do her job when she's away) not worries her boss.

Her boss is ok for my wife to take a long vacation now (1 month) but only in specific dates, and the boss is expecting that my wife will be able to complete 2 months work before and right after the vacation. Nobody will do her job when she's away.
My wife is worried that this will cause cashflow problems to the company, the boss doesn't think about it at all.

Quote
She is the financial brains in the company, work on a way to spin this so it is a win win for everyone.

Yeah, I tell her that if she states that she can only work remotely and part-time because of travel plans then her boss will try to keep her at least in some part in the company. My wife is too humble to believe it :)

So, for your wife -- and I say this completely respectfully:  stop being a girl.  Stop undervaluing yourself, underplaying your skills, discounting what you contribute.  Those are such stereotypically female behaviors, and they are the fastest way to be underpaid and underappreciated. 

Why is it "being difficult" to ask for what you want?  You get what you settle for.  There are very, very few bosses in the world who will recognize silent brilliance, and sadly, you don't work for one of them.  So you need to deal with the boss you have instead of the one you wish you had.

The reality is that you are not doing the boss any favors with the silent unhappiness.  You are so unhappy and stressed you are very seriously considering quitting.  How does it help the company if such a valuable person keeps everything inside until she can't handle it any more and quits?  If the boss knew that his options were half of you or none of you, which do you think he'd choose? 

Ask for what you want.  Tell the boss you are no longer interested in working full-time, period, and that you would like him to bring another person on board, because you would like to stay with the company you have been with so long, but that if he is not willing or able to do so, then you will have to investigate other options.  He needs to understand that his options are half of you or none of you, and that this is not negotiable.  And if he doesn't like it, well, what's he going to do, fire you?  How is that a real fear, when you're about to walk anyway?  Not to mention that he can't do that anyway unless he -- ta-dah -- brings on a new person for you to train!

You, dear wife, have all the power here.  You are a critical cog at your company, and there is literally no one who can step into your shoes on short notice.  You also have more than ample fuck-you money.  You literally cound not be in a better position to negotiate whatever terms you want, because he needs you infinitely more than you need him.  You have all the power here.  And yet you're not asking because you don't want to be "difficult"?  Oh honey.  You have every right in this world to ask for a reasonable schedule, and no one has the right to make you feel bad or guilty about doing so.  And if they do, well, that's not you being difficult -- that's your boss being a jerk, using guilt and pressure to take advantage of you.  And I hate to tell you, but people like that will continue to do so for as long as you let them get away with it.  So stop letting him.

WalkaboutStache

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #22 on: March 14, 2019, 09:43:07 PM »
Quote

She actually discussed this move with her boss, hiring another person and then she could go part time to 20h/week. This request was ignored, and then she didn't bring it up back as she doesn't want to be difficult. As was stated before by other posters, she thinks that they won't hire more people until she starts clocking overtime or not doing all of her job. Her stress level or inability to take a normal vacation without incurring massive backlog (nobody will do her job when she's away) not worries her boss.


You guys need to read the thread on fuck you money stories.  You have it.

https://forum.mrmoneymustache.com/welcome-to-the-forum/epic-fu-money-stories/

After you read that, you may realize that she can walk into her boss’s office and tell him that she can no longer work part time, and give him a time frame to hire someone.  Maybe a month.  I would probably state that this is his notice that if the person is not hired by then, I am walking and that this is the final notice.  Maybe calculate that period as the day immediately following pay day so that there is no question about her getting her check.

If the time comes and there is no one hired, walk.  He will probably ask her to stay, but she should walk and state that she can come back if a competent new person is hired and she gets a raise, provided she is not travelling.

Maya

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Re: Career break for my wife. What would you do?
« Reply #23 on: March 17, 2019, 09:54:59 AM »
listen to maklynn she's wise.

I'm now 38 and feel like I could have written your post word for word while 27-30 and we were trying to get pregnant. It took longer than we hoped and I feel like I wasted so much of my late 20s waiting and hoping,  staying in a job I didn't like for maternity benefits. She has a much more employable skill than I do so even less reason to stay put.

Financially you guys are doing amazing and have nothing to worry about from a career break. and the two cases I see she asks for leave and they give it to her, or she walks away from her job which it sounds like she needs to do now anyways.

I've writting a few posts on my blog about my recent mind shift and moving from purely money to more of a best life aspect. you can find it in my signature if you want to read them. the only one I'll post here is that I think you guys should only take 12 months of government payments for mat leave, but take 18 months with the job. if you take 12 months payments that allows you to start earning income once the benefits are up without being clawed backed, while your job is still protected (though it sounds like it's time to move on anyways).

https://www.ourfinest.ca/2019/03/should-i-take-12-or-18-months-maternity.html

I'm a planner, it's so hard not having the stability of a job but things will work out. She'll find a new job, a likely better job. Even if she's pregnant. Even if you give up the possibility of benefits.