Back in 2001, at 17 years of military service, my spouse got the "unrefuseable offer" from the assignment officer. We'd had several "unaccompanied tour" close calls over the years and we'd become skilled negotiators, but this time the gloves were off.
A distinct undertone of the assignment "discussion" was "You're close to retirement, you need the pension, you'll do as we say." Well, sorry guys, but by then we knew that I'd have my own military pension-- and our savings was enough to cover the gap. Assignment officers still don't understand dual-military couples. We were dealing with senior officers who'd been spending their paychecks as fast as they appeared and who were only able to retire from the military if they immediately started a civilian career. It was like trying to negotiate with the Klingon Empire-- neither side appreciated the other's culture or goals.
Spouse put in her resignation papers, which is traditionally the starting point for military assignment negotiations. Then she used the accounting data on her separation orders to move our household goods to a new home. To the assignment officers, that meant we were cutting costs and getting ready to see things their way. The reality was that we'd found our dream home and had decided that we were never leaving Hawaii.
Her command begged the assignment officer to extend her on active duty so that they could find her relief. Even on her last day in the office (no terminal leave) she was still getting "offers" from the assignment branch. Her final day of active duty was three weeks short of 18 years-- you veterans appreciate that significance.
We'd been discussing this situation for years, and at one point we were actually ready to take the assignment orders. But when we found ourselves contemplating a year of separation (I'd be with our daughter) and discussing the quality of the family-counseling psychologists at the military base, we realized that this was nuts. We decided "It's only money." Our conservative estimate of the foregone pay & pension was $750K.
When spouse stopped going to work, our salary income dropped by 60% and our quality of life shot up about 300%. She affiliated with the local Navy Reserve unit, started pulling in a little drill pay to paper over any gaps in our financial planning, and was having a wonderful time in her new command. She even got a Reserve promotion that never would have come from the smoking rubble of her active-duty assignment negotiations. She retired from the Reserves in 2008. Her Reserve pension starts 20 years later than her active-duty pension would have started, but she wouldn't have traded any of that time for any of the $750K.
"It's only money."
Maybe that wasn't such a BFM after all, but I have another. Does anyone remember the value investment of a Canadian company called "Nortel"?
I borrowed $10k off of my HELOC to invest in "land in Hawaii". My coworkers had invested in it as well and had been seeing crazy returns. Needless to say, it's been over 4 years and there's no sign of my investment, let alone dividends. Thank goodness I didn't have any access to more cash than that. I know a few people that are out upwards of $50,000. Expensive lesson, but definitely learned.
Um, just out of curiosity, where in Hawaii is that land?