Author Topic: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?  (Read 11573 times)

WheelPage

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Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« on: September 04, 2014, 08:02:48 AM »
Congratulations to me! I have been commuting to work by bike for a month now. Well, kind of.  I bike a short distant to a co-worker's house and they drive me the rest of the way there and back, 20 miles one way. Their commute does not change at all.

However I am having some issues.
-Co-worker Matt will take free lunches but he will not take money. However he is not too interested in doing this for a long time.
-Co-worker Juan is interested in car pooling together to work for a longer term, but he demands $80 a month.
-Co-worker Saun doesn't want anything in return for driving me to work. No food, treats, or even money. Nothing. And he doesn't mind me commuting with him for a longer period. I am currently riding with him.

The issue arises with Saun. I may not be able to car pool with him for much longer. Then Juan would be an option, but I do not feel $80 dollars is reasonable specially considering his commute does not change.  I believe he is a bit rude as well. I don't think, I can car pool with anyone else.

Am I being an asshole here? Some of my friends say a few free lunches is enough and others think I should pay. What do you think? All advice will be greatly appreciated.

Fishingmn

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #1 on: September 04, 2014, 08:10:05 AM »
What would it cost you if you had to drive yourself?

For example, if you worked in a large downtown it could easily cost $160/mo to park which would make the $80 seem like a pretty fair price.

Is public transportation an option and what does a monthly pass cost?

Seems like there are 2 parts to the question regarding Juan. Is the price fair and can you stand spending an hour a day with him?

PloddingInsight

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #2 on: September 04, 2014, 08:35:39 AM »
Are the lunches home-made?

$80 per month is about $4 per work-day.  If you're taking Matt out to lunch, you might be better off paying $80.

gillstone

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #3 on: September 04, 2014, 08:37:48 AM »
I feel like I'm flashing back to the SATs and having to figure out how tall Paul is if he's shorter than Matt who's taller than Judy but shorter than Mario.

Is it possible to move or get a job closer to home? a 40 mile round trip commute is a real pain on public transit unless you have light rail available. 

frugaliknowit

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #4 on: September 04, 2014, 08:52:24 AM »
40 miles per day at $.25 per mile (each), 20 days per month = $ 200. 

$80 is a bargain for two, more appropriate for 4.  It's not just gas.

Sblak

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #5 on: September 04, 2014, 08:52:50 AM »
I would and have paid for my share of the gas in carpools.  It is only fair that a person who saves you the driving and gas also benefit from the arrangement.  I don't know what is a fair amount but $80 seems cheap for a free ride to work every day.

skunkfunk

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #6 on: September 04, 2014, 08:56:34 AM »
I second frugalknowit, $80 is a STEAL. Do it and feel good about coming to an equitable agreement.

theadvicist

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #7 on: September 04, 2014, 08:58:43 AM »
"I do not feel $80 dollars is reasonable specially considering his commute does not change."

His commute does change. He has to share it with someone. Maybe you make annoying chit-chat. Maybe you're too quiet. Maybe he secretly loves Britney and he can't listen on the way anymore.

He is willing to do this for you for $80 a month. He's set his price, you take it or leave it, in my opinion.

ketchup

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #8 on: September 04, 2014, 09:30:10 AM »
$80/month for 22 workdays a month at 20 miles each way comes out to around 9 cents per mile for you.  Good luck beating that.  I'm with everyone else on this; you're getting a deal, and he gets his commute subsidized a little.  I'd call that a win-win.

Posthumane

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #9 on: September 04, 2014, 09:45:44 AM »
I had an identical arrangement with a co-worker when I was doing an internship - I would bike to his house and he would drive the 25-30 miles from there in his pick-up. We were getting a commuter assistance from our workplace which worked out to be about 8-9c/km, and I basically just handed my commuter assistance cheque over to him which was on average just over $100. At one point I calculated that it would cost me about the same amount in gas to ride a motorcycle to work, but of course I didn't take into account the actual cost of vehicle ownership in that calculation. I think $80 for the distance that you are travelling is fair.

WheelPage

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #10 on: September 04, 2014, 10:01:33 AM »
Frugaliknowit, Let's assume there are always 23 workdays in a month. It's 40 miles in a day, 20 there and 20 back. So, it would be $230 a month.

Plodding, I only take Matt out to lunch about once a week. Thus not home-made lunches.

Gill, Yea. Public transit would be maybe two hours plus. That would not be an option. I am looking to move soon. This is just in the mean time.

sblak, What have you paid for car pooling in the past? Did the driver pick you up and drop you off or did you have to get there?

Skunk, thanks for the advice.

advicist, I don't see us getting along to well.

ketchup, Thanks!

Post, commuter assistance, interesting. I wonder, if we have any of that. I will look into it. Thanks for bring this up.

I have thought about the responses in this thread for quite a while and I see where everyone is coming from. My decision is I would rather ride with Matt. I will try to convince him with the car pooling idea and offering a fair price. Thanks everyone for information and personal stories on car pooling.

BlueMR2

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #11 on: September 04, 2014, 10:02:44 AM »
Paying people for transportation, especially repeatedly gets into some shaky legal (and ethical) grounds.  Tossing somebody a few bucks for gas on a group trip is generally considered to not be a problem.  However, you're now talking about contracting for scheduled transportation services.  That very likely invalidates his auto insurance, and would typically require a commercial driver's certificate (and possibly more items depending on where you live, often scheduled vehicle inspection).  Be careful here.

Villanelle

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #12 on: September 04, 2014, 10:07:36 AM »
I don't think you are being an asshole for not wanting to pay a listed price, but I don't think he's being greedy or over charging.  Even if he was, it's within his rights to set whatever price he wants, and you can take it or leave it.  He isn't wronging you in some way for charging more than you think it's worth.  It it isn't worth $80 to you, then explore other options.  But--and maybe I'm wrong--I get the sense you feel that Juan is somehow being unfair.  He's not.  He feels it would take $80 to offset the cost of having to share the ride with you.  Nothing wrong with that.

And given that you think he's rude and you resent the money he will charge you and feel you won't get along, I think it's probably a bad idea to ride with him, even if you can get his price down.

WheelPage

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2014, 10:20:27 AM »
Blue, I have never thought of that. I know there are businesses that run car pooling programs like Pace, but that's about it. I'll look into this.

Villanelle, You are correct with your assumptions. I think, the price is a bit high for biking over to his house which increases my commute by a bit instead of him picking me up. If he would pick me up, I think it's a fair price though. However, like you said, I don't like his pushy attitude and some of his remarks are off putting. I will probably not ride with him again. I am still looking into other options for now.

skunkfunk

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #14 on: September 04, 2014, 10:24:20 AM »
Blue, I have never thought of that. I know there are businesses that run car pooling programs like Pace, but that's about it. I'll look into this.

Villanelle, You are correct with your assumptions. I think, the price is a bit high for biking over to his house which increases my commute by a bit instead of him picking me up. If he would pick me up, I think it's a fair price though. However, like you said, I don't like his pushy attitude and some of his remarks are off putting. I will probably not ride with him again. I am still looking into other options for now.

You're altering his commute. What if he wants to spontaneously take the afternoon off, or needs to run an errand, and he's got you? Or if he likes being a road raging asshole and can't do it with you in the car?

Is your other friend willing to do it until you move?

TreeTired

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2014, 10:28:50 AM »
Ride your bike the whole way, roundtrip.   Then rethink how much a ride is worth to you.

SummerLovin

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #16 on: September 04, 2014, 10:35:37 AM »
If you have ask the question you probably are!  Of course you're going to have a heartburn with paying since you've been "getting the milk for free".  If you can find a better deal go for it, but it is a fair price for carpooling.  What were you paying to commute before you started biking? Could you elaborate on why you can no longer carpool with Saun?
I bike a short distant to a co-worker's house and they drive me the rest of the way there and back, 20 miles one way. Their commute does not change at all.
-Co-worker Saun doesn't want anything in return for driving me to work. No food, treats, or even money. Nothing. And he doesn't mind me commuting with him for a longer period. I am currently riding with him.
The issue arises with Saun. I may not be able to car pool with him for much longer.

WheelPage

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #17 on: September 04, 2014, 11:00:43 AM »
Skunk, I think, Matt might be able to. I will have to talk to him about price when I see him next. However, last time we talked it was about gas money which is big news. I might be able to commute with him now.

Summer, It's not heartburn as I have offered money to both Matt & Saun and even food. I don't want to insult anyone regarding money/gas money. It's the attitude that Juan has presented himself with that bothers me. He's a bit younger and a bit immature. The first time I rode with him, he flew down this side street going almost triple the speed because he thought it was cool or to impress me. I am not too sure. I was a bit nervous, because if one car came out we would have died instantaneously.

Regarding my gas, I paid around 240 dollars. I will have more of an exact number later on. I have changed my work schedule, but I don't know if I will be able to keep it though and that allows me to ride with Saun.

gimp

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #18 on: September 04, 2014, 02:22:14 PM »
It's customary to pay half the gas cost. Doesn't matter if their commute hasn't changed, you're still inconveniencing them, and why should they pay all the cost when two people can split it? It's win-win to split gas - they pay less than driving themselves, you pay less than driving yourself.

GGNoob

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #19 on: September 04, 2014, 02:46:29 PM »
The one time I've carpooled, everyone met at my house in the morning. There was 4 of us, 3 of which took turns driving. Those of us driving didn't pay anything as we rotated driving each week. The 4th guy paid $30 a week ($6 a day) to ride with us.

$80 or $4 a day sounds pretty reasonable to me. My 50-mile round-trip commute costs me $6-7 in gas a day plus wear and tear on my car.

WheelPage

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #20 on: September 04, 2014, 02:52:30 PM »
Thanks everyone for the great advice. I know what to offer now and who to ride with. I appreciate it.

Thanks Logan & gimp. In the end, it does work out quite well for me.

Pigeon

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #21 on: September 04, 2014, 02:55:58 PM »
Yeah, you are kind of being an asshole.  Sorry.

Carpooling is sort of a pain.  You are obligated to put up with the other person and you have to sometimes make adjustments to your plans.  I think $80/month is very reasonable considering the inconvenience.  You aren't a charity.  If you can find a way to do it cheaper, OK, but it's not really sounding like either of your other options are going to work out long-term.

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #22 on: September 04, 2014, 02:59:15 PM »
Its a little difficult to tell if you are trying to decide based on personality or cost. Either way you should definitely contribute a fair share of expenses regardless of whether it changes their commute or not. They have gas, wear and tear on the vehicle, and the actual cost of the vehicle itself. Obviously you believe that those costs are not optimal or else you wouldn't be looking to carpool! I think long term having an agreed amount or purchasing them gas cards or something would lead to a more amiable relationship. After awhile getting inconvenienced everyday for once a week free lunch or nothing at all would get kind of old and they could back out on you. Sooner or later you could just be labeled the mooch in the office looking for free rides. Especially since you've already used 3 different people! Obviously this all depends on their personality and your relationship with them. It's a different story if you are actually friends and hang out outside of work. If you're strictly coworkers it would be way easier to just start blowing you off once they want to change the routine and they aren't getting much out of it.

I do understand if you don't like the guy that wants the money if he's a young jerk that you can't get along with for the car ride though. I'm actually surprised the others won't willingly take payment. I think usually its a rotating shift of who drives so the idea of payment doesn't typically come up in carpooling. At least that's what my dad did when he used to carpool. Meet at parking lot and rotate weekly. Obviously you can't do that on a bike. Maybe dropping them gas gift cards occasionally is a good idea if they won't take payment.

MgoSam

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #23 on: September 04, 2014, 03:02:45 PM »
Yeah, you are kind of being an asshole.  Sorry.

Carpooling is sort of a pain. 

I wouldn't go so far as to say that you are being an asshole or anything like that. But yeah even if your co-workers aren't driving an inch more than they already are, their commutes have changed.

At my former job I lived on my boss' way to work and so he used to pick me up. For me I thought it was a free ride, but it really wasn't. It meant spending 30 minutes in a car with him and he can be an absolute asshole in the car. Sometimes he would want me to drive and then spend it on his phone, and after a few times with that I decided to drive myself.

eil

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #24 on: September 04, 2014, 04:34:02 PM »
I didn't see it mentioned, but I assume you have no car at all, so I have to further assume that taking turns driving is out of the question.

If someone wanted to carpool with me and we didn't already have some kind of barter in place, then I would want to pay somehow. Cash doesn't feel right and is probably a grey area, legally speaking. Offer to pay for every other tank of gas, instead. That's probably where Juan got his figure of $80.

Sblak

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #25 on: September 04, 2014, 05:53:53 PM »
How is paying with cash a grey legal area?  Are there alternatives?  Of course, but cash money is one of the best methods to exchange value.

Sofa King

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #26 on: September 12, 2014, 10:03:47 AM »
What a hassle it is to drive someone to work everyday.  It becomes a pain if last min you want/need to call in sick and you have this person riding their bike to your house that needs a ride to work everyday. Also what if he or you are running late or has to work late? then one of you ends up pissed off. Not worth the $$$$ you are getting.  The $80 is a bargain. Even tho I would never do this ride share thing, if I heard you complain even once the price would go to $120.00 then if you complained about that it would jump to $160.00.

DollarBill

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #27 on: September 12, 2014, 10:26:58 AM »
I would love to give someone a ride (Non-stache kind) for a free lunch. That would be a sweet trade.

foobar

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #28 on: September 12, 2014, 11:04:03 AM »
Ride your bike the whole way, roundtrip.   Then rethink how much a ride is worth to you.

20 miles is definitely bikeable.  Shouldn't even take more than an hour or so depending on terrain and route. Seems like the perfect solution.

Johnez

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #29 on: September 12, 2014, 11:57:58 AM »
Ride your bike the whole way, roundtrip.   Then rethink how much a ride is worth to you.

20 miles is definitely bikeable.  Shouldn't even take more than an hour or so depending on terrain and route. Seems like the perfect solution.

That easy, huh? Maintaining that pace the whole hour, lights and all....?

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You got me thinking about swinging my own carpool OP. If I can completely rid myself of my car I can save enough to nearly fund my entire Roth IRA.

NoraLenderbee

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #30 on: September 12, 2014, 12:45:36 PM »
Ride your bike the whole way, roundtrip.   Then rethink how much a ride is worth to you.

20 miles is definitely bikeable.  Shouldn't even take more than an hour or so depending on terrain and route. Seems like the perfect solution.

More like an hour and a half, plus it's 20 miles each way. Not really practical unless the OP is an active cyclist who wants to spend 3 hours per day training.

eil

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #31 on: September 12, 2014, 01:21:27 PM »
How is paying with cash a grey legal area?  Are there alternatives?  Of course, but cash money is one of the best methods to exchange value.

Because in most states, anyone who accepts money in exchange for driving someone somewhere must be licensed to do so. Usually in the form of a chauffeur’s license or CDL, and the car itself sometimes has to be licensed as well. I'm not saying I agree with it, just that it's pretty near a universal law in the U.S.  Buying the gas instead is (presumably) a way around the letter of the law.

Sort of like how it's illegal to pay someone to have sex with you but if you record the act under the pretense of making pornography, then it's okay.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2014, 01:27:51 PM by eil »

foobar

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #32 on: September 12, 2014, 02:10:16 PM »
Ride your bike the whole way, roundtrip.   Then rethink how much a ride is worth to you.

20 miles is definitely bikeable.  Shouldn't even take more than an hour or so depending on terrain and route. Seems like the perfect solution.

More like an hour and a half, plus it's 20 miles each way. Not really practical unless the OP is an active cyclist who wants to spend 3 hours per day training.

After doing this for 6 months, I think you would find that your bike times dropped quite a bit.:)  I have never know someone do the 20 miles both ways for extended periods of time. I know couple that used to do 30 miles one way (i.e. they drove in one day and biked the other way) pretty much every day and one that did 20 miles (He actually lived 15 miles away, I think he cheated some days) both ways 3 days a week. And yeah they were either hardcore cyclists or triathletes.  And it also helps a lot to have  a nice biking path where you only have to cross streets every 5 miles or so.

libertarian4321

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #33 on: September 12, 2014, 03:06:48 PM »

Then Juan would be an option, but I do not feel $80 dollars is reasonable specially considering his commute does not change.


I'll bet Juan has a house, too. 

Do you feel entitled to move in for free?  After all, his mortgage doesn't change just because you move in.  So why shouldn't you be allowed to move in for free, especially if you make him lunch once in a while?

While you are there, feel free to use his furniture, tools, toys, even his wife.  It's not like he will incur any additional costs if you use them, so why shouldn't you be able to use them for free?

You are getting a valuable service and bitching about having to pay more than an occasional peanut butter sandwich for it just because "the other guy's costs don't change." 

I believe that makes you, at best, a parasite. 

If you don't like the price he offered, get back on your bike and pedal the 40 miles.

Quote
Am I being an asshole here?

I think you knew the answer to that before you asked.


DollarBill

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #34 on: September 12, 2014, 03:16:16 PM »

Then Juan would be an option, but I do not feel $80 dollars is reasonable specially considering his commute does not change.


I'll bet Juan has a house, too. 

Do you feel entitled to move in for free?  After all, his mortgage doesn't change just because you move in.  So why shouldn't you be allowed to move in for free, especially if you make him lunch once in a while?

While you are there, feel free to use his furniture, tools, toys, even his wife.  It's not like he will incur any additional costs if you use them, so why shouldn't you be able to use them for free?

You are getting a valuable service and bitching about having to pay more than an occasional peanut butter sandwich for it just because "the other guy's costs don't change." 

I believe that makes you, at best, a parasite. 

If you don't like the price he offered, get back on your bike and pedal the 40 miles.

Quote
Am I being an asshole here?

I think you knew the answer to that before you asked.

Ouch! lol

Spork

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #35 on: September 12, 2014, 03:20:57 PM »
How is paying with cash a grey legal area?  Are there alternatives?  Of course, but cash money is one of the best methods to exchange value.

Because in most states, anyone who accepts money in exchange for driving someone somewhere must be licensed to do so. Usually in the form of a chauffeur’s license or CDL, and the car itself sometimes has to be licensed as well. I'm not saying I agree with it, just that it's pretty near a universal law in the U.S.  Buying the gas instead is (presumably) a way around the letter of the law.

Sort of like how it's illegal to pay someone to have sex with you but if you record the act under the pretense of making pornography, then it's okay.

IANAL, but: 
Charging for a ride: you're probably right
sharing the cost of the commute:  I'm pretty sure you're in the clear.  $4 a day is by no means a profit for a 40 mile round trip. 

As a side example closer than prostitution: you must have a commercial pilot's license to charge for air transportation, but you can legally share the cost of the flight.  And there isn't even a requirement on the required ratio... it doesn't have to be 50-50.  It can be 90-10 and still be perfectly legal.

TomTX

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #36 on: September 12, 2014, 08:37:49 PM »
How is paying with cash a grey legal area?  Are there alternatives?  Of course, but cash money is one of the best methods to exchange value.

Because in most states, anyone who accepts money in exchange for driving someone somewhere must be licensed to do so. Usually in the form of a chauffeur’s license or CDL, and the car itself sometimes has to be licensed as well. I'm not saying I agree with it, just that it's pretty near a universal law in the U.S.  Buying the gas instead is (presumably) a way around the letter of the law.


I thought that as long as the rate was at or below the IRS reimbursement rate for mileage, you were pretty safe legally. They're not doing it for profit or as a business, you are simply sharing the expenses of a shared trip.

See this NOLO article: http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/how-start-carpool.html (scroll down to "sharing expenses")

Taxis are making a profit, above operating expenses.

BlueMR2

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #37 on: September 13, 2014, 08:56:03 AM »
I thought that as long as the rate was at or below the IRS reimbursement rate for mileage, you were pretty safe legally. They're not doing it for profit or as a business, you are simply sharing the expenses of a shared trip.

Seriously, check your insurance policy.  They tend to be MUCH more restrictive on what you can do compared to the law.  There's tons of stuff you can *legally* do that can violate your insurance agreement (and let them drop you/deny coverage after an incident).  The definition of "commercial operation" is one of those areas they tend to be much tighter on.  Years ago one of the policies I looked at specified "commercial" (and therefore non-covered operation) as accepting *any* compensation...

mm1970

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #38 on: September 13, 2014, 09:50:14 AM »
Congratulations to me! I have been commuting to work by bike for a month now. Well, kind of.  I bike a short distant to a co-worker's house and they drive me the rest of the way there and back, 20 miles one way. Their commute does not change at all.

However I am having some issues.
-Co-worker Matt will take free lunches but he will not take money. However he is not too interested in doing this for a long time.
-Co-worker Juan is interested in car pooling together to work for a longer term, but he demands $80 a month.
-Co-worker Saun doesn't want anything in return for driving me to work. No food, treats, or even money. Nothing. And he doesn't mind me commuting with him for a longer period. I am currently riding with him.

The issue arises with Saun. I may not be able to car pool with him for much longer. Then Juan would be an option, but I do not feel $80 dollars is reasonable specially considering his commute does not change.  I believe he is a bit rude as well. I don't think, I can car pool with anyone else.

Am I being an asshole here? Some of my friends say a few free lunches is enough and others think I should pay. What do you think? All advice will be greatly appreciated.
How long is the carpool (distance round trip?)

Even though there trip does not change, they are "stuck" with you, whether they like it or not.  So it needs to be MUTUALLY beneficial.

So if they always drive, then you should split the cost.  Evenly.  Example, at say 50 cents a mile, if it is 40 miles round trip per day, that's $20 per day.   You'd be paying $10 per day, or $200 a month.  Actual cost per mile varies of course of size of car, etc.

But $80/mo for that kind of mileage is pretty good.
« Last Edit: September 13, 2014, 09:51:47 AM by mm1970 »

resy

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Re: Car Pooling - Am I an Asshole?
« Reply #39 on: September 13, 2014, 10:39:07 AM »
Blue, I have never thought of that. I know there are businesses that run car pooling programs like Pace, but that's about it. I'll look into this.

Villanelle, You are correct with your assumptions. I think, the price is a bit high for biking over to his house which increases my commute by a bit instead of him picking me up. If he would pick me up, I think it's a fair price though. However, like you said, I don't like his pushy attitude and some of his remarks are off putting. I will probably not ride with him again. I am still looking into other options for now.

You're altering his commute. What if he wants to spontaneously take the afternoon off, or needs to run an errand, and he's got you? Or if he likes being a road raging asshole and can't do it with you in the car?

Is your other friend willing to do it until you move?
 

^THIS. I used to carpool, was the driver. I did not charge my friend as it didnt change my commute as you said and man how I've regreted it.
She would also meet me at my house and we'd ride from there.
What didnt I like enought to make me feel I should have been compensated??
-She was always on time, to the minute. Its great, except if you have a small kid/pet/last minute bathroom need, etc and now you have someone waiting annoyed for the delayed 5-10 minutes.
-I had to stop listening to my morning npr :( as a person in my 20s it seems Im a bit of a weirdo on this one as my peers go. I had to listen to mind-numbing commercial radio instead.
-On the mornings I couldnt take the radio we would ride in silence. Mostly conversating was great except for those mornings when you just dont have much more to say and feel awkward.
-The worst for me, not being able to run errands after work. This was the deal breaker for me in the end against carpooling.

So no, Juan isnt bring unfair at all. In getting along with him? Well thats another story.