Also, are used OEM wheels better than equally cheap new aftermarket rims?
In the grand scheme of things, both will undoubtedly work fine...however, OEM rims are designed specifically for that model and are definitely of higher quality than cheap aftermarket rims. OEM rims were designed and tested to thoroughly last the life of the vehicle because the manufacturers want to be absolutely sure that bad shit doesn't happen to people driving their vehicles on year 1 or year 20. If 2 to 10 BILLION dollars worth of merchandise (total price of all cars produced of that model and year) is sitting on low quality rims that could randomly fail (bend), that spells bad news for the manufacturer...so they put the resources into making them perfect. If you looked at buying new factory rims from the dealership, they'd probably be at least $300 each. Yes, a lot of that is unnecessary mark up, but there is still an actual, high quality product there. Aftermarket rims are designed to be flashy, cool looking, fit on all sorts of different vehicles, and be built for a price (quality) that is low enough to encourage people to replace perfectly good factory rims for something different.
But again, I'm not suggesting that the aftermarket rims are going to instantly (or ever) fail...that would just be silly to suggest; but the factory rims are built to a much higher spec as a means of insurance protecting the manufacturer. Just my two cents!
Stache in a flash, I hear what you are saying. It sounds intuitive, but as someone who tinkers with vehicles for off roading and has broken many parts, I gotta say my piece.
OP, I'm going to steer you into a different direction. First, your wheels are
as designed for your vehicles as much as the CD player was designed for your vehicles. It should not surprise you to find the same exact part number wheels on different models of your makes, and on different makes.
Don't be scared of third-party OEM replacements, and do not overpay for "factory parts". I can't say with certainty that any aftermarkets won't fail, but I can say that with certainty, a class action lawsuit would occur if parts were defective. Anyone taking comfort in dealer parts (which, we should all not be surprised are sourced from the same manufacturers that sell us aftermarket parts), has not been paying attention to auto news over the last few decades.