Author Topic: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?  (Read 3199 times)

retiredat58

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Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« on: June 04, 2020, 03:10:57 PM »
We have a prenup , I built the house before we were married, no mortgage. Married 4 years, only been living under the same roof for 6 months and I want out.

314159

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2020, 03:16:11 PM »
Well, what does your prenup say?

retiredat58

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2020, 03:20:22 PM »
What I came into the marriage with is mine, ( the house ) and what he came into the marriage with is his. But I have a feeling he’s not going to leave the house,even with a prenup.

ixtap

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2020, 03:24:54 PM »
Talk to a lawyer.

socaso

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2020, 03:27:04 PM »
This is going to depend on the tenant laws in your state. Even though the house is yours he's been there 6 months. In most states I've lived in that's going to mean you'll have to evict him and follow your state's procedure for that or he can sue you.

Paul der Krake

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2020, 03:27:14 PM »
Nobody here is going to be able to give you an answer based on a 32 word description that doesn't even include your jurisdiction.

Call a bunch of lawyers.

LWYRUP

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2020, 03:28:20 PM »
There's a difference between "can I do this" and "what is the legal process for doing this."

Like, a landlord can kick a tenant out, but they do it through an eviction process.  A landlord cannot just tell the tenant "you need to leave because I'm the landlord and I say so."  They need to follow the process that the legal system established for them. 

Of course as part of the divorce process you eventually will not live together.  Nobody is required to live with their ex-spouse.  But if you just randomly change the locks one day and leave someone homeless, that could be a problem for you later on. 

All to say, consult a lawyer (disclaimer - I can help you develop commercial real estate, I don't know jack about divorces) and follow the appropriate avenues. 

Nobody here can really offer competent advice without reading your prenup and knowing what state you are in, anyways.  And probably doing research, which I am guessing most will be too lazy to do. 

Rdy2Fire

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #7 on: June 04, 2020, 08:09:16 PM »
I think you got the best advice above.. Lawyer!!

The prenup is great for the divorce cause you get the house BUT tenant law will, possibly, will prevail on the getting out part. Of course a good lawyer might tell you things like get a restraining order, if you have grounds, as that can help but bottom line you need a lawyer in your state that knows the applicable laws and procedures.

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2020, 02:22:00 AM »
It really does shock me the things that get brought to this forum. OP, this is clearly complex. Do you wish to stay married or do you want a divorce? If you want to stay married but not live together, you talk with your husband and be honest and work something out. If you need therapy or someone to mediate the conversation, invest in that. If the marriage is over, then be honest about that and talk to your husband about leaving and then initiate a divorce. This is a discussion between you and the person you entered into a marital contract with, we’re quite useless to you here unfortunately.

firstmatedavy

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2020, 06:31:40 AM »
I went through something sort of similar, sans-marriage. My ex boyfriend was living with me in a house that I owned and refusing to leave.

My friend predicted this might happen and offered to serve the first round of eviction-related papers for me,which I took him up on and he did shortly after the breakup. (This was the "your landlord no longer wants to rent to you and you have 30 days to leave before beging evicted" paper. It has to be served, as in hand delivered, by someone other than the landlord, in my state.) 30 days was the legal minimum. Rent money didn't become an issue because he hadn't been contributing financially anyway.

My ex was really obnoxious and hard to live with for around two weeks, finding an excuse to come talk to me every day and then turn it into either a "pity me and let me stay and/or give me money for my invented emergency*" conversation or acting threatening. Even though I was living off microwaved soup in the upstairs of the house only to avoid his bedroom and the kitchen which were downstairs. I stayed in a hotel for a few days towards the end - I know it's not the cheapest option but worth it for mental health. Luckily, ex got himself a train ticket back to his parents' town and left of his own accord.

If he'd been violent it might have been possible to get him out faster through family court (I'm not sure if emotionally abusive and threatening is enough to count, it might be), but I didn't explore that route much.

He didn't steal anything when he left, but he did leave behind the mattress I'd bought for him to use and pepper spray it before leaving. It was nicer than mine, so a couple months later I tried using it and woke up with my eyes burning. So that sucked.

If ex fought the eviction, I'd probably have needed to decide up the house somewhat for my own sanity. Extra locked door at the top of the stairs or something. I really don't know how that would have gone.

*
Spoiler: show
One of the invented emergencies was that he had no food. The freezer was full of chicken and frozen veggies. He made baked chicken for himself frequently. It wasn't "hey, I'm unemployed (because I refuse to apply for jobs) so can I still eat the shared food while I'm here?" it was "please give me cash or take me shopping and pay for everything".
« Last Edit: June 05, 2020, 06:34:19 AM by firstmatedavy »

marty998

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2020, 06:52:31 AM »
Sounds like you’ve avoided marrying a child there @firstmatedavy . Lucky you’re out of that one!

mozar

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2020, 11:50:31 AM »
The vast majority of people will comply with an eviction notice.  I've had a couple of tenants that put up a fuss about it but once they realized I was serious they got out pretty quickly.

Scotland2016

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2020, 01:01:15 PM »
You can pay a lawyer a consultation fee for an hour of their time without contracting with them to represent you. Sounds like it would be worth the money, and I think a lot of lawyers are doing things virtually now.

ontheway2

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2020, 02:20:16 PM »
I couldn't get mine to leave until our divorce was finalized, and he had 5 das to get out. Cops cannot make him leave until there is a court order

GizmoTX

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2020, 04:48:59 PM »
In some places, leaving = deserting the family/household, so it's not in anyone's best interest to leave until the divorce is final, regardless of how uncomfortable things may become. The divorce process should look at who is on the house deed as well as a prenup.

cchrissyy

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #15 on: June 05, 2020, 04:59:33 PM »
the prenup has to do with ownership of assets and debts. I'm very glad you have that. but it is not relevant to the issue of how to make him move out. you need a lawyer.

spartana

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #16 on: June 05, 2020, 06:35:08 PM »
Is he on the deed? If not, and depending on your state laws (if in the US), you may be able to evict him before a divorce if you file for legal separation (generally fast). However if he is on the deed then he is legally entitled to remain there as an owner just like you are until a court order for a divorce and/or Seperation of Property and assets has been issued and he has legally been declared a non-owner.

ETA: If he is abusive or you fear him you can request a court ordered restraining order banning him from the property. However this process requires LOTS of documentation and rationale and is difficult to get without history.

Also where have you guys been living for the past 4 years of marriage? That may (or not) make a difference when trying to evict him.
« Last Edit: June 05, 2020, 06:42:40 PM by spartana »

Cpa Cat

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #17 on: June 05, 2020, 07:52:24 PM »
My prenup is very clear about which spouse gets to stay in the marital residence during divorce proceedings and which spouse needs to leave. If he refused to leave, I suppose I would need to get a court order to enforce it, but it's there in the agreement.

Have you read your prenup? Is it silent on the issue?

firstmatedavy

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #18 on: June 06, 2020, 08:20:24 AM »
Sounds like you’ve avoided marrying a child there @firstmatedavy . Lucky you’re out of that one!

God yes. And thanks. Looking back on it, his ability to put his own wants above everything else was astounding.

mozar

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #19 on: June 06, 2020, 09:26:40 AM »
Also courts are moving slowly right now due to the pandemic. If the divorce is taking a long time you can file for an emergency divorce order.

MrThatsDifferent

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #20 on: June 06, 2020, 03:57:10 PM »
Ughh! OP has mentioned nothing about divorce and we’re all wasting our energy advising if more info isn’t provided although really what more can any of us add to this that is of value? There are only 3 options: change your mind and work on living together; ask nicely to leave and hope; initiate legal action to force leaving. That’s it. What an odd topic.

mozar

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #21 on: June 07, 2020, 09:01:26 AM »
I don't know about you man but this forum is my main go to for procrastinating. So don't @ me.

Cassie

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #22 on: June 08, 2020, 09:43:22 AM »
If you can trick him into moving out do so. Tell him you want to separate and work on the marriage. Once he is out change the locks. It worked for me and one of my friends.

researcher1

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Re: Can I legally get my husband to leave the house ?
« Reply #23 on: June 09, 2020, 08:35:42 AM »
Married 4 years, only been living under the same roof for 6 months and I want out.
Where did your husband live for the first 3.5 years of your marriage?