The best you can do is probably to motivate her to adopt the mustachian lifestyle and watch how you can sort out various problems gradually, maybe she'll finally get the refreshing feeling that things are moving in the right direction and find the energy to deal with some lifestyle issues like this one.
I agree. That's sort of what I've been trying to do. I went through a phase where I used every trick in the book to try and "make" her do things my way, but I've come to the (reluctant) realization that its a better strategy to do what I can to make things better and let her come along at her own pace, as long as this doesn't make me miserable. So far, I am much happier living this way.
It's funny how this thread has turned out to be more about my wife and our issues rather than the (apparently) simple question I asked before. It's just so interesting how perceptive everyone has been about my situation:
Somewhat off topic, but is it possible your wife has an eating disorder of some sort? If she really, really will only eat in a restaurant, you might want to look into counseling, both as a couple and for her individually.
Yes, my wife has struggled with an eating disorder. She has improved dramatically, but (obviously) still has her struggles. This is another reason I've given up pushing too hard regarding the food issues: it doesn't actually get to the source of the problem (only counselling/treatment can) and it actually only makes things worse because stress and negative emotions trigger the unhealthy food behaviours
Alternately, it could just be a form of engineered addiction. We are talking about processed food, after all.
http://www.cbc.ca/news/health/story/2013/03/05/f-vp-crowe-food-addiction.html
Not that I'd recommend it due to the health risks, but if the homemade food didn't need much chewing, had smooth surfaces, and was liberally salted with MSG and literally fat-packed, she'd probably eat more of it, too.
Maybe. Interesting thoughts and article. However, unless we were to go "back to the land" I don't know that there's much I can to about this, what with the limited shopping selection in our small, remote city. I know the health risks sound awful, but I think if I can learn to make, say, deep-fried zuchini sticks, maybe we can transition from "restaurant unhealthy food" to (cheaper) "home-cooked unhealthy food" to (eventually) "home-cooked healthy food." Maybe I can wean us from the addiction?
has she always preferred to eat out? is this how her family eats?
it sounds like she likes what she likes, has a 'safe list' of foods sort of thing and doesn't want to try new things, whether that's new home-cooked food or new restaurant food.
if that is the case, perhaps learning one really nice dish to do at home which you do once a week might be the way to start.
i personally love trying lots of new things to cook because it keeps it interesting to me but it sounds like your wife really appreciates familiarity so just a few reliably good dishes might be more appealing to her.
Your post made me LOL because it was so bang on. Yes, her family ate out all the time because her Dad was a fisherman and would get HUGE pay cheques and then spend a lot of the payday taking basically the whole town out for dinner. I love to try new foods (it's really the only way I stay sane going out for food all the time) but she does not. However, there is an exception: when she does happen to cook, it's always something weird and new. To be clear: when I cook, it's usually something simple and standard (steak and steamed vegetables, BBQ chicken breast and ceasar salad, KD with veggie sticks if I'm being lazy) but when she cooks she just throws something together that she thinks would be good, with mixed results. I'll eat anything, so it's fine with me but she doesn't really like what she makes because, frankly, it's not that good. So I ask her "why don't you use a recipe?" and she says "why? You don't like my food?" Then her feelings are hurt, she's less likely to try next time, etc, etc. She is just really resistant to going with something proven to work and feels like she has to make her own way. I've never really understood why, especially when she get's such a negative outcome. Maybe I'll ask her about this again and see if I can get a better answer.
higginst:
To answer your original question, yes, absolutely, an antimustachian purchase can lead to greater mustachianism. The question is context.
Even a ridiculously overpriced bicycle can produce positive gains over time...(or, it could just be another piece of junk in the garage). A $2000 stove potentially can save you three times that in restaurant bills in just one year...or could just be a $2000 sculpture you occasionally admire.
How well do you and your wife do with goals you set for yourself. That is, if you say you're going to make waffles on Saturdays with the new waffle maker, how likely are you to follow through with that after the novelty wears off?
We're all growing, hopefully, all the time...so even if the former you might peter out on your commitment to use the waffle iron or to cook at home more often, future you might still kick some ass. So, with that in mind, go make an unmustachian purchase of one of my favorite books:
The Family Dinner by Laurie David: http://www.amazon.com/The-Family-Dinner-Great-Connect/dp/0446565466/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1363659129&sr=8-1&keywords=the+family+dinner+laurie+david
Thanks DBF, I really liked your reply. I think you have confirmed my feeling on the topic. So far we've used the waffle iron 3 or 4 times for our special weekend breakfasts. These used to be breakfasts out, so I'm pretty sure we've already saved
at least $60. Subtracting the $55 purchase price means I'm $5 to the good. Maybe my "ROI" would be higher if I purchased a cheaper/used one, but if you have an opportunity to earn a 9% MONTHLY return, I think you should jump at it, even if it completely optimized. I should be fine if I can find reasonable answers to all the questions MMM summarized in his latest post: "will this really make me happier? / is there any other way to get the same happiness? / can it be delayed? / how can it be optimized to get the most at the lowest cost?”
I think that I will start looking for a deep-fryer so that we can get one that enables me to make all the goodies she loves so much. I think it will save us a bundle and make everyone happier!