I'm sorry, but I hear a lot of complaining, immediately starting with the title. The correct answer is you CAN get your expenses down enough, but it takes time.
I don't know enough to speculate too much really. It does seem like you've accepted defeat and told yourself you're just going to accept a lower paying job with some at-home work even though it's not one that will help you meet your goals anytime soon. You've justified this decision by reasoning that the "now" is pretty good (and it sounds like it is). Yet, you're still complaining. You really can't have both, so you need to do something about it.
These two sentences stand out:
It's a little frustrating to read this blog, he makes it sound so easy when it's just not realistic for some of us who never made enough money
For us, I've taken a job where I can work from home most days and from now on I'm focusing on enjoying life now, whether we can save or not
Those kind of contradict one another. You can't make more money if you keep accepting low-paying jobs that are much less stressful and focused on lifestyle. It's not that you CAN'T make more money, it just doesn't sound like you're willing to right now.
It seems like you've got the whole Mustachian thing dialed down pretty well - small house, no cable/tv, modest or no vacations, used cars, etc...A lifestyle like that for 3 people without debt shouldn't be over $25-$35k even with the mortgage. Add the debt in, and yeah, you've hit the $45k mark.
By the way you describe your expenses:
Monthly -
Mortgage*: ($250k, includes insurance/taxes): $1,500
Food: $600
Utilities: $70
Gas: $150
Car Maintenance: $25
House Maintenance: $150
Internet: $60
Cell Phones**: $120
Clothes/Misc: $100
Debt repayment: $1,000
Total, Yearly: $45,300
Without Debt: $33,300 (And still many ways to reduce this!)
Without Debt or Mortgage: $19,500 (Beating the MMM family!)
All hope is not lost. There are ways out of this. You just need the right attitude and to gain whatever knowledge you lacked before so you can use it in the future. A big part of being FI is haven't a paid off home or having enough invested to cover rent, so you're money isn't being wasted. As long a the debt numbers are accurate, you have nothing to beat yourself over about how you're spending money. There is maybe only a little room for improvement, but nothing that I think would justify it. You're well on your way, overall, it's just going to take longer if you don't get your income up.
*Huge guess, but probably not too far off? Modest home in a HCOL area.
**This could vary wildly, but I think this is average for those that haven't toned down this cost yet.